The reflections Increased Students’ Awareness of Their Intrinsic

45 I could show my feelings to the subject through reflection. I am too shy to interact with other people. I would like to spend my time alone. Therefore, when I found problems in learning Structure, I usually keep my mouth in the silent mode and wait until the lecturer gave explanation. However, now I think that if I had a friend it was good. Then I start to make friends and share my stories with them. DE, day 5 After that, the third student, SA, also had similar experience with AL and DE. He said that he enjoyed writing the reflection. He told that reflection could help him in figuring out his mistakes and solving it. “Aku bener-bener enjoy nulis refleksi ini karena sebenernya aku suka nulis apa aja. Aku rasa media ini cukup menarik untuk dilakukan. Aku bisa menulis apa aja yang ada dipikiranku jadi nggak takut salah. Yang ada malah jadi tau salahnya kita dimana terus bisa diperbaiki.” SA, day 5 I really enjoyed writing this reflection because I liked to write anything. I felt that this media was interesting to be implemented. I could write anything in my thought then I was not afraid to be wrong. We could understand our own mistake and solve it. SA, day 5 The statements above showed that AL, DE and SA could clarify their feelings. According to Gebhard and Oprandy 1999, students are able to increase learning awareness through discovering their feelings of their learning. All of the students fulfilled the action about clarifying their emotional side. For example DE explained that she could show her feelings to the subject through reflection freely. She also clarified that had friends was good. She had not friend before because she too shy to made a friend. Then, AL said that she was happy here although she was being forced by her parents to study here. She shared it in her reflection to decrease her stress and get some support from herself. Next, SA shared that he 46 liked to write reflection because he did not afraid of making mistake. He said that reflection could also help him in solving their problems. Based on the evidences from the first theme until the last theme, the researcher concludes that reflection could enhance the student s‟ self-awareness in learning Structure II. The statement supported by the interview which conducted by the researcher in the last meeting. They shared the similar point of view about their experiences, feelings, and outcomes after doing reflection. Here are the interview results about the students ‟ experiences after doing reflection. “Pengalaman yang aku rasakan campur aduk banget. Mulai dari terima panggilan dari mbak untuk ikut penelitian ini. Awalnya aku bingung mau ikut atau enggak, tetapi setelah mbak memberi penjelasan mengenai penelitian ini aku jadi tertarik dan bersedia untuk mengikutinya sampai selesai. Saat refleksi pertama kali aku bingung mau menulis apa dan bagaimana formatnya, untung saja mbak memanduku agar aku tidak kehilangan arah. Hari demi hari, apa yang aku tulis di refleksi-refleksiku mulai membawa perubahan. Dari aku yang males untuk belajar Structure, sampai jadi orang yang suka belajar hampir setiap hari. Proses ini juga mengajarkan aku untuk menjadi pribadi yang positif dan berani. Aku dapat menuliskan semua yang aku rasakan, semua kelemahan dan kelebihan yang aku miliki. Yang terpenting dari proses ini adalah aku belajar dari enggak mampu jadi mampu. Aku berhasil mewujudkan keinginanku. ”ALInterview The experience that I felt was mix. It began from accepting the call from the researcher to join this study. At the first time I was confused, but after the researcher described explanations about this research I decided to join and follow until the end. In my first reflection, I was confused in writing a good reflection and its pattern. Fortunately, the researcher guided me. Day by day, what I wrote on my reflection gave me changes. From a lazy person became a diligent person in learning Structure. This process also taught me to be a positive and brave person. I could write everything about my feelings, my weaknesses and my strengths. The important thing from this process was the change from I cannot became I can. I achieved my goal. AL Interview 47 The interview result above supported that reflection was a very good media to enhance her self-awareness. She said that the important thing was the change from „cannot‟ became „can‟. Self-awareness has the important part in students‟ learning. Johns 2005 supported that reflection used to improve and raise students‟ learning with a shortage of self-awareness. The next was the interview about the student s‟ feelings after doing reflection. “Perasaanku tentu saja bahagia karena sudah di panggil untuk mengikuti proses yang luar biasa ini. Karena refleksi, aku bisa tahu tentang diriku lebih dalam. Nggak hanya sampai disitu saja, aku juga merasa sangat senang karena sukses menerapkan refleksi didalam kehidupan belajarku dan bonusnya adalah nilaiku yang melejit naik. ”DEInterview I was happy because the researcher invited me to join this amazing process. Because of the reflection, I could understand about myself deeper. Did not stop there, I was happy because I could implement reflection on my learning process successfully and the prize was good mark. DE Interview The interview result above supported that reflection was a very good media to enhance DE‟s self-awareness. She said that the important thing was successful to implement reflection on her learning process and free to express her feelings. By exploring their feelings, students are able to realize the benefits of reflection and they gain learning awareness Gebhard and Oprandy, 1999. In addition, students who had good self-awareness would develop themselves effectively Johns, 2005. The next was the interview about the student s‟ outcomes after doing reflection. 48 “Sejujurnya banyak sekali yang didapat dari menulis refleksi yaitu pertama, aku bisa mengerti kelemahan dan kekuatanku. Kedua, membatuku mengatur waktu belajarku, sehingga masalah kesulitan belajar dapat diselesaikan dan yang ketiga memberikan kesadaran diri terhadap kemampuan dan realita yang aku jalani.” SAInterview Honestly, there were many benefits from wrote reflection. First, through it I could understand my weaknesses and my strengths. Second, it helped me to manage my time in learning, so my problems could be solved. Third, it gave me awareness to my capability in learning. SA Interview The interview result above supported that reflection was a very good media to enhance self-awareness. He said that the important thing was the reflection gave his awareness to his capability in learning. Personal development starts at a point of self-awareness; in fact, it may as well be the ultimate end Johns, 2005. Eventually, reflection helps students to be active learners by consider their learning obstacles and to find out the strategies to overcome their problems. In addition, reflection allows the students to increase their intrinsic motivation because intrinsic motivation is needed by the students to struggle their study. Moreover, reflection also permits the students to clarify their feeling about learning processes.