self- image the children acquire will also determine their motivation and behavior to step forward to their future.
7. Limits
Children need structure, direction in their lives and they need to know what kind of outcome will be from their actions. From the points, they can understand the
limits. Parents cannot always allow their children to do anything they want. Occasionally, parents are to restrict the children to do useless or dangerous things
affectionately. The affectionate manner in restricting the children will not hurt their feelings.
8. Role Identity
To be mature parents, people are to learn many roles. They need to consider many aspects of family values. By knowing them, parents know the worthy things to do.
Children need parents or someone who can fill the role of parents. Children need to go out of their vulnerability so that they can be self-sufficient. Identically,
before reaching the ages when they are able to be self-sufficient, they will depend physically and emotionally towards their parents Joseph and Bird, 1972: 28.
Joseph and Bird 1972: 100 state that parents are to “learn to converse with their children in psychological language expressive of empathy and acceptance,
something called ‘childrenese’”. Furthermore, they state that it is an obligation for the parents to learn children’s language, not vice versa.
Specifically, in the family, a father plays a very crucial role in educating children. Dagun 1990 presents an understanding about father’s role in the family.
The understanding is very helpful to assist the analysis of why Tom behaves uncontrollably in the matriarchal family. Specifically, the understanding will be the
reference in interpreting the need of a figure of a man for Tom. Dagun 1990: 17 states that a father has very important direct roles in his
child development—he can fondle, organize language contacts, and talk as well as act playfully with. He adds that a father can direct and manage his child activities so that
she or he will be able to determine how she or he can act properly in their social intercourse.
2.3 . 3 The Function of the Family
