508 DEAR HACKER

508 DEAR HACKER

One of our more common specimens is the conspiracy letter where the writer has it all figured out and it’s so much bigger and more well-connected than any of us could ever dare to imagine. I’ve always had a great deal of fun with conspiracy types because it’s relatively easy to play along and even inject new pieces into the plot without any need for accuracy or proof. The ultimate achievement is convincing the person that those uncovering the conspiracy are actually part of an even bigger conspiracy. Fun for the whole family.

Then there’s the individual who wanders into some crazy computer system and tries to share all of the details with us. Invariably, it makes little to no sense, with the odds of anyone (let alone this person) managing to pull it off approaching the infinitesimal.

Closely related to the conspiracy letter is the ultra-paranoia letter. We get so many of these that they would really make a fascinating psychological profile if we put them all together. A “hacker” neighbor or ex-significant-other is somehow able to control everything belonging to the letter writer — from their car to their computer to their light bulbs — and only a hacker magazine can tell the poor victim what to do to regain their freedom. Now of course, there are instances where there are real and serious threats to someone’s privacy. But there are so many more examples where someone reads too many tabloids or watches too much bad television and simply believes that anyone with the slightest technological ability is a potential menace or god. You might

be surprised how significant a portion of the population buys into this. We’ve found ourselves pulled into all sorts of issues and arguments, including what to call certain countries without offending other countries, how to reconcile hacking with religious doctrine, and even being compelled to take sides in a war between 11-year-olds on the other side of the planet.

Sometimes a letter writer just needs to vent about a variety of topics and we are pleased as punch to be the forum for that. Other times a person clearly is spending way too much time thinking about 2600 and overanalyzing our message, covers, etc. In those cases, we usually advise them to spend some more time outdoors.

Then there are those letters that seem like they make absolutely no sense at all only because of the context. We get misdirected mail all the time and it’s entertaining to play with it on occasion. Some of these are just particularly funny bits of spam, while others are from people who mistook us for someone else. Regardless, as soon as a piece of mail lands in our letters box, it’s fair game.

There are at times colossal violations of the rules of grammar, punctuation, spell- ing, and even capitalization. With the advent of the Internet culture, this has become

STRANGE RAMBLINGS

so much more prevalent, which is why we print a sampling and why it deserves some representation here. As bizarre as this may seem, it’s all deeply rooted in reality.

We’ve discussed a lot of very serious and downright depressing issues throughout this book and all throughout the history of 2600. This last section will hopefully have the effect of getting us all to lighten up a bit and realize that the nonsequiturs of life are sometimes exactly what we need to get back on track.

Dear 2600: There really is a big “brother.” They are the C.F.R. and the Trilateral

Commission. Their goal: a one-world government and a one-world money system. Computers will play a key role. This is why the crack- down on hacking and billboards is on.

Paia Jones Thanks for this interesting bit of news.

Dear 2600:

I am not a subscriber, but I was wondering if you could give me some info on the following things.