528 DEAR HACKER

528 DEAR HACKER

against my walls. The last straw was finding human feces in front of my door after their last meeting.

I bought a copy of your magazine to figure out their behavior but I’m still clueless. I thought you were about computers? I’ve lost my patience with this crap (literally) and I’d appreciate a response. I’d hate to have to involve the law.

Vladinator

We would love for you to involve the law. We would love to be held accountable for every group of people in the world who writes the number 2600 on their door. Because, as we all know, that’s all it takes to prove that this is a tightly knit con- spiracy. In all seriousness, if you want to deal with this problem, it sounds like you already know who the perpetrators are. There must be some way you can deal with them locally. If you really read the magazine, you would see that our meet- ings don’t take place in apartments but rather in public places for all the world to see. So don’t go assuming that anyone who writes down our name is somehow affiliated with us. Would you be complaining to the White House if they stuck an American flag on their door instead?

Dear 2600:

I love you Natalie. I’m sorry, I always will, and saying what I said to you was the worst mistake of my life. You’re the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me, and calling you a bitch was my own death sentence because you’re the only friend I ever had. I could never do enough to apologize. But I’m doing my best. I can’t say anymore or I’ll break down right here in the Apple store. I’m sorry.

Thomas We believe you’re sincere but what’s important is that Natalie believes this. And for

that to happen, you need to learn how to enter her email address properly, espe- cially in a store where other people have been using the computer. Your “best” just isn’t good enough at this point, Thomas, and we say this with all due respect. We want to help. You should consider yourself lucky that you sent this to us and not someone who could have really embarrassed you.

STRANGE RAMBLINGS

Dear 2600: For four and a half years I have been hearing voices from people who

claim to be in the Secret Service and they tell me things that come true.

I only started hearing the voices after the FBI visited my home. Has anyone mailed with this same complaint? Tabetha

You wouldn’t believe how many complaints like this we get. We don’t know how helpful we can be but we can tell you that in all likelihood those aren’t the voices of the Secret Service. You say what they tell you comes true and we know that any- thing the Secret Service might tell you usually winds up being a lie.

Dear 2600: So I got my first issue of 2600 about a week ago. As I was reading the

story “Decoding Blockbuster” by SDMX on page 43 (21:3), I could not help but stumble upon a secret message hidden in the article. That’s right, a secret message. On the bottom left of page 43 above the “Write for 2600” box and below the text “...quick cut and paste...”, I read the text “there is nothing in this box” printed in small, light gray letters.

I immediately began to wonder. What box? Why is there nothing in this box which I am unable to locate? Perhaps somebody forgot to place the necessary contents in the box?

Seeing as I am rather unfamiliar with the particular details of your publication, I realize that I may be sadly mistaken. Perhaps this is something that you hide in every issue or a simple (yet strange) mis- take on the part of the publishers. On the other hand, could it truly