Petra’s Story Trustworthiness

61 participants’ characteristics. Participants’ characteristics included participants’ personal traits and participants’ beliefs about language learning. 1 Classroom Activities Venita experienced CA when she had to deliver five-minute impromptu speech in the speaking class. The lecturer employed a classroom activity called “hot seat”. At that time, she randomly picked a topic prepared by the lecturer and got a topic “three unique ways of using a pencil except for writing and drawing.” Then, she thought about the topic in 15 seconds and talked about it for about 5 minutes in front of her lecturer and friends. She told me that this kind of classroom activity made her so anxious because everything was so random meaning that she did not know everything about the speech including the topic and the presentation schedule, so she could not make any preparations before the speech. Venita expressed In other presentation, I did not feel so anxious because I could make preparations. Nah, when it came to “hot seat”, I could not make any preparations. I did not know the topic. I did not know what I would say. I did not know when my turn would be. Intrvw1_V96 Young 1999 state that using speaking activities that put the learner “on the spot” in front of their classmates without allowing adequate preparation is one of sources of anxiety for many students. Generally, through preparation, students need time to construct their ideas and make correct language choices. Wong- Filmore 1985 argues that more preparation and practice time are similar to the message redundancy meaning that repeating main presentation contents gives students more opportunities to improve and master their presenting skills. In 62 contrast, if students is not given time to prepare themselves, they may not give fluent speech or presentation thereby causing CA in the classroom. On the other side, Petra experienced CA when she had a group presentation in the speaking class. Unlike Vernita, Petra could make preparations before the presentation because she knew the topic and had fixed presentation schedule. When I wanted to make sure whether she really anxious though she prepared herself, she said Yes. When I did free speech, I tended to do it well because I could speak freely. When I knew that the presentation would be graded, I made preparations but it turned out of my expectation. When I prepared the presentation, I expected that the presentation would be the same like I had prepared before. It gave a burden to me. Intrvw1_P72 The situations faced by both participants showed that both of them experienced “stage fright” which is one of the forms of CA. Both participants experienced CA when they had to speak in front of the classroom though they had different types of speaking activity. As Young 1991 states, speaking in front of the class is one of the classroom activities which are perceived as anxiety- provoking. Young 1990 in her study found that more than sixty-eight percent of her subjects reported feeling more comfortable when they did not have to get in front of the class to speak. Young 1990 identifies more by saying that this might due to the fact that it is hard to be one’s self in the target language. “It is feeling of uncertainty and threats to the ego due to the unknown element of the second language, which can thus trigger anxiety ” Guiora et al., 1972 in Tallon, 2008, p. 3. Both participants had different experience regarding the preparations. Previous researchers had found and put more emphasize on the importance of PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 63 preparations Horwitz et al., 1986; Young, 1990; Aida, 1994. They found that their subjects of research would feel less nervous if they got more preparations. However, the participants in this study still might experience CA with or without preparations. Petra did not try to say that a preparation was not important. She told me that she would still to do preparations for the next presentations. The problem might be on how she viewed the preparation itself. She said previously that she expected herself to be the same like what she had prepared before. Thus, it gave a burden to her. This kind of viewpoint might lead into perfectionism that would be discussed more under the subtheme manifestation of CA. 2 Personal Traits The second factor causing the participants’ CA was participants’ personal traits. It was in line with the previous study findings of Shameem and Siti 2006 in Tom et al. 2013. They discovered that one of the main factors causing CA was personality traits. Venita and Petra perceived themselves as persons who were lack of self-confidence. Venita said …My heart beat fast. First, it was because I could not speak in public. I was not confident … Intrvw1_V50 When I asked Petra whether her traits had relationship with her anxiousness, she responded Yes, I was shy and not confident. Intrvw1_P93 According to Petra, another personality trait that influenced her anxiousness was shyness. It was in line with Chu 2008 in Zhang 2010 who found that shyness had a positive correlation with FLA and was one of the factors creating a negative impact on Taiwa nese students’ in studying English. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 64 3 Beliefs about Language Learning The third factor causing the participants’ CA was participants’ own beliefs about language learning. I believed that language learners bring a variety of preconceived beliefs to the foreign language class. According to Young 1991, some beliefs may be based on unrealistic expectations. Young 1991, p. 428 elaborates more by saying “when students’ unrealistic expectations about language learning are not met, the situation can lead to negative feelings about one’s intelligence and abilities.” Young 1991 also emphasizes that learner beliefs about language learning are major contributors to language anxiety. Venita and Petra expressed their concern over the correctness of the grammar and pronunciation. Venita also stated the importance of memorizing many vocabularies. Since Petra had made preparations before the presentation, she did not express her concern greatly while she was giving presentation. On the other hand, Venita who had not made any preparation before her speech, worried about the correctness of the grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation. While speaking in front of the class, she thought Duh … Was my grammar correct? Did the others understand what I was saying? Duh … Was there any vocabulary mistake? Duh duh duh. Intrvw1_V62 When I reassured that she worried about them, she said Yes, the grammar must be correct. I had to know many vocabularies. Oh, the pronunciation should be correct too. In English, so many words were written similarly but pronounced differently. Intrvw1_V65 I asked her whether her thoughts had effects on her anxiousness, she responded Yes, they burdened me. Intrvw1_V67 PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI