78 that learners who are more motivated to learn language are usually less anxious
learners. However, it was worth noticing that it was also possible for the learners to have high level of motivation and high level of anxiety at the same time like
both participants in this study. According to Venita’s and Petra’s experience, their
motivation could help them to cope with the CA and FNE they experienced. The controversy of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation has been exposed by
many researchers Deci Ryan, 1985; Gottfried, 1990; Ushioda, 1996; Noels, Clement Pelletier, 2001; Moneta Spada, 2009. Students who are intrinsically
motivated to learn are still believed to be more persistent in language learning, and this persistence contributes to the students’ performances and achievements.
On the contrary, students who are extrinsically motivated by expected rewards increase their effort to complete the task and earn an incentive. Besides the
controversy of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, the experience of the participants in this study suggested that both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation appeared to
help the participants to cope with CA and FNE. It was important to note that not only intrinsic motivation, but also extrinsic motivation was found to be important
in coping with CA and FNE.
4. Impacts of the Experience
Both participants of my study told me that their experience brought impacts to them. The experience brought a negative as well as a positive impact to Venita.
Negatively, she felt so stupid of forgetting some trivial things. She was not satisfied with her performance then after that she was lack of self-confidence. This
kind of effect belongs to one of MacIntyre et al. ’s 1998 list that, personally,
language learning experience could, under some circumstances, become a PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
79 traumatic experience. This kind of unpleasant experience may dramatically
disturb self-confidence as a student. Venita said I thought I was stupid because I forgot simple things. I realized it when I
came back to my seat. From that moment, if I had a presentation, I would not be confident. If I was not satisfied with what I had presented, I became
unconfident.
Intrvw1_V90 Positively, she was determined to prepare herself in case she had to face the
same situation. According to her, the preparation was more about enriching vocabulary since knowing many vocabularies would help her in doing
spontaneous speech. When I asked about what she would do after that moment, she said
I studied more vocabularies. I read novels written in English in order to enrich my vocabulary.
Intrvw1_V91 She elaborated more by saying
So, if I had to speak in front of the class spontaneously or not, knowing many vocabularies would make me easier to do it.
Intrvw1_V92 The experience brought positive impacts to Petra. During the presentation,
she indeed felt anxious, but it did not hinder herself to be brave to speak in the other occasions. She thought if she did not brave enough, she would not be able to
speak English. She said The experience affected me. But for me, the effect was good that I wanted to
be better. It did not hinder me to speak. If I was not brave to speak, I would not be able to speak English until the end.
Intrvw1_P89 From that moment, she made a commitment that she would make better
preparation for instance by practicing in front of the mirror, practicing with her friends, studying pronunciation and studying grammar. Even, she planned to
