lot, and it becomes his nature to read anything that is interesting to him. Taking the first step and keep going are other ways Kanai works out. He never gives up
on his study and in fact, he enjoys studying. He knows exactly what he wants in life and does the steps required to get his goal. As a final point, Kanai’s goal to
study abroad is achieved.
4.2.2 On His Social Relationship
Smith divides abnormal sexuality into thirteen types, which are homosexuality,
bisexuality, transvestism
and transsexualism,
prostitution, fetishism, nonconsent or assault sexuality, voyeurism, exhibitionism, sadism,
masochism, incest, pedophilia, and raping 138-142. Kanai’s school has its own dormitory. Kanai says “It was there that I first
heard about sodomy” 58. He finds out that his classmate, Kagenokoji is the object of those students who cannot have girls to love. This abnormal sexuality
they suffer is homosexuality. Some of the dormitory students are trapped in their life condition that makes them attracted to others within the same gender. One of
the students also looks upon Kanai as the object. He starts to offer Kanai some refreshment and some chats. But then he becomes more intimate and scares
Kanai. From the beginning, though, I felt his kindness was a little too tenacious,
so I didn’t like it, yet fearing to be impolite to a senior, I merely tolerated our association. Before long he was grabbing my hand. He even pressed
his cheek against mine. It was annoying, unbearable. I had no genius as an Urning, as a sodomite 58.
One day when Kanai comes to that senior student’s room, he finds that the bed is already prepared. The student forces Kanai to sleep with him. At the time, his
thought is “The more passionate he became, the greater became my dislike and fear” 59. Kanai tries to get out of the room, but then a friend of the student helps
him to attack Kanai. The fight makes noises that few students come to the room to see what is happening. One of them breaks the fight. Kanai is able to run away
from the room and never goes into the dormitory again In his new school, the thirteen years old Kanai discovers a new sexuality
matter. Some of his seniors who are called the mashers like to go to prostitution areas. They dress more elegant, while the queers are those other students who are
manlier and less care. The mashers’ habit is a kind of abnormal sexuality, which is prostitution. Prostitution, as explained by Smith, is a kind of sexual relations as a
transaction. The prostitutes work in order to get money by serving their clients 140.
And where do you think these feet in white socks were headed? Toward those archery “shops” at Shiba and Asakusa and the houses of ill-fame in
Nezu, Yoshiwara, and Shinagawa. When the mashers went out in their usual dark blue socks, they often frequented the bathhouses. Not that the
queers failed to go to the public baths, but they never went upstairs. The mashers counted on taking that trip upstairs. Without fail women would be
there waiting 64.
Kanai does not join any of the group. He is a neutral student. He prefers to be a witness of the seniors’ habit and stay away from them rather than becoming
one of them. As he does not suffer any sexual dysfunction or variant, Kanai can be concluded as a man with normal sexuality Smith 5.
There is a day when Kanai wants to play with Eiichi. He goes to Eiichi’s house and finds that Eiichi is going out fishing. Eiichi’s mother asks Kanai to
come in. Unexpectedly, the woman seduces him. Since Kanai is not well experienced with women, he feels inconvenient in that situation.
She almost seemed to press her cheek against mine as she peered at me from the side. Her breath fell against my face. I felt that breath was
strangely hot. And at the same time it suddenly occurred to me that Eiichi’s mother was a woman. For some reason or other I became terrified.
I might have even turned pale 83.
Finally, Kanai decides to get away from Eiichi’s house. Actually, he has the interest in having a special relationship with a woman, but because of his lack of
confidence, he has not experienced it yet 99. He is heterosexual, whom Smith describes as people with the desire of sexual engagement with a sexually mature
member of the opposite gender 138. At the age of seventeen, Kanai feels a real feeling to a woman. He really
likes the woman that he sees for the first time in front of a curio shop. It appears that he longs for the belongingness and love needs. Maslow says that love is a
healthy-loving relationship between two people, which includes mutual trust 303.
Each time I went to Kosuge on my way there and back, I felt a joy in passing those sliding doors. And once when I saw a girl standing in the
open space between the doors, I felt, for about a week, some undefinable satisfaction. When I found the girl wasn’t there, I felt, for a week, a vague
dissatisfaction 103. From that time until long past my graduation from the university – no,
that’s not so – until the day I went abroad two years after my graduation, this girl was quite definitely the heroine of my beautiful dream 104.
Kanai does not even know the name of the woman. All that he knows is the name of the shop where he always sees the woman. Years later he finally hears about
the woman’s character. The chief priest of a temple in the neighborhood is sending her living expenses 104. But still Kanai does not make any attempt to
approach the woman and so nothing happens between them. He is not brave enough to do anything as a way to struggle for his feeling. Here, he shows that he
has a confidence issue related to women. As many other men do, Kanai has a dream to marry a woman. When
Kanai is twenty, his friend Koga is already married, so that this consideration also comes up from his mind. Here, his belongingness and love needs are considered
again. But even though Kanai’s mother has insisted him to get married as soon as possible, at least before he studies abroad, Kanai still does not feel ready for it.
Separated from his lack of confidence to be in contact with women, he has a mature thought about marriage that he shares to his mother in order to make her
understand about his decision. I would, in any event, be married at some time or other. When I did, I
would really be troubled if I married someone I didn’t like. It would be easy to decide if I liked her or not. However, it would even be hard for the
woman to marry a man she didn’t like 121.
Kanai’s action to stay in the right path to sustain his normal sexual life makes him become a good man, yet his introvert and unconfident characteristics make it hard
for him to build a social relationship, especially with women. He fulfills his self- actualization needs as a way to gain knowledge as well as to build confidence. His
self esteem needs are satisfied by getting more friends who have the same vision as him. However, he cannot manage to please his needs of belongingness and
love. Hence, this condition leads him not to marry or even have a special relationship with any woman when he is already twenty-one years old.
