Lack of Belongingness and Love Needs
54 feels lonely because he does not have sister or brother in his family. Thus, he
never shares and feels love from siblings. During senior high school time, Toru only has Kizuki and Naoko as his
friends . Kizuki is the one and only best friend he has and Naoko is Kizuki’s
girlfriend who Toru falls in love with. In dormitory, Toru has friends namely Nagasawa and Storm Trooper. Toru also meets Midori, his classmate in drama
class. However, Toru becomes a secretive person when it comes to his personal life. Toru’s painful memories from the past caused him to be someone who cannot
open up about his problems. As a college student, Toru is a loner who does not have any friends to talk
to and he does not try to make friends as well. He always sits alone in the classroom and spends his lunch time by himself. Once, Toru feels detached and
lonely from his surroundings because others are happy with their companion and he thinks he is not the part of the happiness p. 107. Toru also considers that
April is the loneliest month since he does not have any companion. He spends the whole month with his sense of isolation which makes him realize that he does not
only miss Naoko and Midori but also Nagasawa and Storm Trooper as well p. 337.
In senior high school, Toru has a girl he likes. However, his relationship with the girl seems like based on the sexual desire which does not give the sense
of belonging for him. Besides, Toru also admits that he has never been in love. “She was nice,” I said, “I enjoyed sleeping with her, and I miss her every
now and then, but finall y, she didn’t move me. I don’t know, sometimes I
think I’ve got this hard kernel in my heart, and nothing much can get inside it. I doubt if I can really love anybody.”
55 “Have you ever been in love?” Naoko asked.
“Never,” I said. She didn’t ask me more than that. p. 38
In senior high school, Toru has a girlfriend and it means that he has ever been in a
relationship. Unfortunately, his relationship is based on the sexual desire rather than love. Thus, it only gives him doubts whether Toru can really love someone or
not. Toru’s lack of love and belongingness needs can also be shown from his
unfulfilled desire for a relationship. Toru falls in love with Naoko but unfortunately Naoko is unable to love him back because she still loves Kizuki
although Kizuki has died. Besides, after Kizuki has died, Naoko does not know how to relate to other people and she does not know what it means to love another
person as well p. 150. Thus, it proves that Toru’s love for Naoko is one-sided
love or unrequited love because Naoko cannot reciprocate Toru’s love. Besides,
Toru’s desire for having a relationship with Naoko is unfulfilled and it makes him lack of love and belongingness needs.
If it is compared to Maslow’s explanation about love and belongingness
needs, To ru’s love and belongingness needs is not satisfied because he does not
have close friends and siblings. Moreover, his desire for having a relationship is unfulfilled. Having no close friends, siblings, and true lover proves that Toru has
never felt the sense of love and belongingness. As a result, it causes him into loneliness.
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