A. The Readability of The Gothic Terms in “Setan Merah”
The first discussion of the analysis is to answer the first problem, which is how readable the translation of gothic terms in Poe‟s “The Masque of The Red
Death” into “Setan Merah”. As explained in method of the study, the assessment of readability involved nine respondents who are the students of English Letters
Department, Sanata Dharma University. The score of each data which was given by respondents were accumulated in order to get the total score. The average score
of each data was counted in order to get the final score of the data. The instrument that was used to assess the readability is a modification of
Nababan‟s indicators. There were 1-3 scale options in the readability instrument. Each scale was indicated by some criteria. The indicators can be seen in the
chapter II. From 8 pages in “The Masque of The Red Death” there were 37 data that
were collected related to gothic terms. The score showed that from 37 data there were 27 data which were readable, 9 data which were quite readable and 1 data
which was not readable. The overall average score for the data collection on readability assessment was 1.35 that was categorized as readable. Here is the
discussion of the data.
1. Readable
The score of readable refers to Nababan‟s instrument is 1.0 to 1.6. It means that all data which have score 1.0 to 1.6 are categorized as readable. From twenty
seven data showed that there were twelve data scored 1.0, two data scored 1.1,
five data scored 1.2, five data scored 1.3, 2 data scored 1.4, and 1 data scored 1.6. Here is the chart of the readable data.
The discussion of readable data is explained in the following.
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Target Text Score
4. 4TTSM
Namun Pangeran Prospero adalah orang yang ceria, tak kenal rasa takut, dan
bijaksana .
1.0
The data 4TTSM has score 1.0 which means all respondents give score 1, all of the respondents can understand clearly because the phrase and the word
ceria , tak kenal rasa takut dan bijaksana is so familiar. It is common in our
perception that a prince has characters like that.
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Target Text Score
6. 6TTSM
Gereja itu dikelilingi dinding tebal dan kuat
.
1.0
12
2 5
5 2
1 5
10 15
1 1,1
1,2 1,3
1,4 1,5
1,6 Readable
Chart 1. Readable Category
A church which has a strong and lofty wall is so familiar. Therefore the words tebal and kuat in this sentence is clear enough to be understood. All of the
respondents can understand this sentence easily.
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Target Text Score
12. 12TTSM
Pesta topeng itu sungguh memukau.
1.0
This sentence shows that the masquerade is amazing. The word memukau is an expression of being amazed. So the expression memukau in this sentence is
appropriated and can be understood clearly by the respondents.
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Target Text Score
17. 17TTSM
Tapi ketika gema suara dentang jam hilang sama sekali, tawa ringan serta-
merta mengisi keheningan dalam pesta itu; para musisi saling menatap satu
sama lain dan melempar senyum lega seraya membisikkan janji bahwa nanti
saat jam berdentang lagi mereka takkan menunjukkan reaksi gugup yang sama.
1.0
The phrase melempar senyum lega is a common expression that is used by people. There is no difficulty to understand the phrase. Therefore all respondents
in this data give score 1.0.
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Target Text Score
23. 23TTSM
Lalu, tiba-tiba jam dinding berwarna hitam
itupun berdentang.
1.0
All of the respondents can easily understand the phrase jam dinding berwarna hitam
and the word berdentang. It is understood that a clock especially
an antiqueold clock can result a sound. Therefore, all of respondents give score 1.0 to this data.
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Target Text Score
33. 33TTSM
“Siapa yang berani?” tanyanya pada para peserta pesta di sekitarnya
–siapa yang berani melakukan penghinaan ini
terhadap kita semua?
1.0
The phrase penghinaan ini in the data 33TTSM is clearly understood by the respondents. Penghinaan is an act that does not show a respect to someone, so
all of the respondents can understand the meaning.
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Target Text Score
35. 35TTSM
Ia menarik sebilah pisau dari balik sabuk dan melangkah lebih dekat ke
arah sosok berjubah hitam yang
memunggunginya.
1.0
Melangkah lebih dekat ke arah sosok berjubah hitam in the data 35TTSM
has scored 1.0. It means that all of respondents can understand the meaning of that phrase. Even the respondents did not know who is meant in the phrase sosok
berjubah hitam , the respondents still can understand the context that it is a
“strange thing”.
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Target Text Score
10. 10TTSM
Tanpa si “Setan Merah”
1.1
The score 1.1 on data 10TTSM is the average score that is given by the respondents. But one of the respondents thinks that the phrase Setan Merah can
give more than one interpretation, for example, it can be interpreted as Setan yang Jahat
or Ghost, and Si Jago Api or a Fire.
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Target Text Score
26. 26TTSM
Di dalam ruangan penuh manusia berkostum
dan bertopeng aneh, tentunya penampilan serupa takkan menarik
perhatian mereka.
1.1
The translation is readable based on the score given which is 1.1. But there is a respondent who gives score 2, the respondent thinks that the word manusia is
more appropriate if it is changed into orang-orang. It sounds unsual and not polite, because it is usual when we said disana berkumpul orang-orang rather
than disana berkumpul manusia.
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Target Text Score
1. 1TTSM
Tidak ada wabah penyakit lain yang lebih fatal
, ataupun lebih mengerikan.
1.2
The phrase lebih fatal can be understood by the reader, but it is more readable if the phrase fatal changes into mematikan
, because word „fatal’ based on Oxford‟s Dictionary has meaning causing or ending in death or based on Echols
and Sadily English-Indonesian, fatal can be translated into yang menimbulkan kematian.
In KBBI, fatal means mematikan, while the word mematikan based on KBBI means menyebabkan mati or causing death which has same meaning with
„fatal‟. So, the translation of „fatal‟ also can be translated into mematikan. However, the data 1TTSM is considered as readable by the respondents.
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Target Text Score
11. 11TTSM
Sekitar lima atau enam bukan sejak mereka menutup pintu gereja dari dunia
luar, sementara wabah mematikan itu mulai menjajah negara negara asing,
Pangeran Prospero memutuskan untuk
1.2
menghibur seribu teman-temanya dengan mengadakan pesta topeng yang megah
. There are two of the respondents who give score 2. They give score 2 on this
data because they think that phrase pesta topeng yang megah can give two meanings, which is a luxurious party using mask or a party using fine mask
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Target Text Score
20. 20TTSM
Pastikan karakter kalian mengerikan.
1.2
The word mengerikan is better if change into menakutkan. However, the word mengerikan and menakutkan based on KBBI Kamus Besar Bahasa
Indonesia has close meaning. Mengerikan has a meaning give rise to sense of
horror or a feel of fear with something, while menakutkan has a meaning arouse a feeling of fear or to make someone feels of fear. So, in the context the word
menakutkan is more appropriate because the context is to make someone feels of
fear by seeing their character.
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Target Text Score
32. 32TTSM
Ketika Pangeran Prospero melihat sosok tersebut
ia melakukannya pelan-pelan, seolah ingin mengamati lebih jelas
, menyeruak di antara para peserta pesta
ia segera kejang-kejang , lalu gemetar
tak keruan, dihantui teror tak berkesudahan
; sesaat kemudian, wajahnya memerah karena marah.
1.2
The data is readable even there is a word which is weird. The word is segera
, based on KBBI, it means tergesa-gesa or being rush. It is better if that word is removed and changed into menjadi, because based on KBBI, it means
berubah keadaan lain or change into something else. So it can be more readable if
the word segera is changed into menjadi.
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Target Text Score
34. 34TTSM
Pada saat ini, dengan amarah meledak- ledak
, Pangeran Prospero yang malu karena tadi sempat ketakutan, buru-buru
melalui keenam kamar dengan urutan yang sama tanpa ada yang mengikuti
karena takut terjadi sesuatu yang tidak diinginkan
.
1.2
On the data 34TTSM the phrase dengan amarah meledak-ledak is better if in that data is added conjunction yang because it can emphasize the word -
meledak-ledak. So the phrase becomes dengan amarah yang meledak-ledak.
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Target Text Score
3. 3TTSM
Merah darah menodai tubuh dan wajah
para korban, seolah menjadi tanda khusus agar mereka dikucilkan oleh
masyarakat umum,
tidak diberi
pertolongan sama sekali
1.3
Three respondents think that the use of the word Merah Darah is confusing because it can give two different interpretations, Merah darah can be interpreted
as a blood which is stain upon the body or a color of red which like a blood stain upon the body.
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Target Text Score
22. 22TTSM
Selain itu juga ada para peserta yang mengenakan kostum bergaya sama
dengan yang dikenakan sang pangeran.
1.3
In the Data 22TTSM there is a word that can be removed to make it more readable. The word is dikenakan, the word dikenakan is reversing the word
mengenakan so it is better if the word dikenakan is removed because, without that
word, the readers already get the meaning. Then the phrase could be …
mengenakan kostum bergaya sama dengan sang pangeran.
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Target Text Score
30. 30TTSM
Tapi semua ini masih bisa ditoleransi oleh para peserta, andai sosok itu tidak
mendandani dirinya seperti si Setan Merah
1.3
Most of respondents give score 1 but three of them give score 2. They think that Setan Merah has several meanings. It can be interpreted as Setan yang Jahat
or a Ghost, and Si Jago Api or a Fire.
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Target Text Score
31. 31TTSM
Jubah hitamnya menampakkan bercak darah
dan alis di atas topeng yang ia kenakan juga terpercik darah.
1.3
One of the respondents gives score 3 on this text, means that rewrite and restructuring is needed. The word menampakkan is not appropriate, the translation
of the text that can be more understood is Bercak darah terlihat pada jubah hitamnya dan alis diatas
topeng… However the data 31TTSM is still considered as readable because the total score is 1.3.
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Target Text Score
37. 37TTSM
Kegelapan, kematian, dan Setan Merah menguasai alam semesta.
1.3
The respondents can understand the text, but three of them give score 2 because they think that the word menguasai should be replaced with a metaphor
menyelimuti .
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Target Text Score
9. 9TTSM
Tindakan antisipasi semacam ini membuat mereka yang tinggal di dalamnya merasa
tenang takkan tertular wabah mematikan
yang merebak dimana-mana .
1.4
On the data 9TTSM the word dimana-mana could be rewrited because it
makes confusion. To make it more clear and easy to understand, between a conjunction yang and a word merebak, can be added word sedang. Based on those
suggestions, the phrase on this data could be changed into tertular wabah mematikan yang sedang merebak.
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Target Text Score
25. 25TTSM
Keberadaan sosok ini pun kemudian menjadi berita gosip yang disampaikan
lewat bisikan dari satu orang ke orang berikutnya, menciptakan suasana baru,
di antara para peserta sebelum akhirnya mereka menunjukkan reaksi ngeri,
takut, dan jijik
.
1.4
On data 25TTSM 4 of respondents give score 2. They think that the words ngeri
and takut have closed meaning, it sounds weird if those words are used in same phrase. It is better if only use one of them, ngeri or takut.
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Target Text Score
16. 16TTSM
Tetapi di kamar terakhir yang bernuansa hitam
, cahaya batu bara yang menyeruak di antara dekorasi ruangan
yang pekat, melalui lapisan kaca berwarna merah darah, justru
menghadirkan bayangan mengerikan
, membuat siapa saja yang berkunjung
kedalamnya tertegun bisu, jantung mereka berdebar hebat, hingga hanya
segelintir orang saja yang berani masuk kesana.
1.6
In this data, 5 of the respondents give score 2. They think that there is problem in the phrase kamar terakhir bernuansa hitam, it can be interpreted into
two meanings, the first is a room painted with black color and the second is a horror room. Also the words tertegun and bisu have a closed meaning. Based on
KBBI tertegun means terdiam which means no sound or not do anything while bisu
based on KBBI also has a meaning no sound. So, the word bisu in phrase tertegun bisu
is better removed because the word tertegun already gives the meaning of bisu or silent. If tertegun and bisu appear in one phrase, the meaning
is reversing. When someone tertegun of course heshe will not do anything even speaks, in this case heshe will silent.
2. Quite Readable