breach or violation on those characteristics, most especially on the third characteristic telling about loyalty and service. By acting disloyal, it can somehow
hurt our friend’s feeling particularly when we do the disloyalty at the time when he needs us so badly.
These friendship theories are relevant to this study because the writer sees a disloyalty as a breach or violation of friendship’s characteristics. A breach of
service and loyalty will be just the same as acting disloyal.
2.1.6 Family
Every person has been born in a family. This starts from a relationship and intercourse of two people namely a father and a mother. A father and a mother
grow and educate their child using whatever life moral and emotional values they have in mind. Dr. Murray Bowen argues that a family is an emotional unit and
uses systems thinking to describe the complex interactions in the unit Bowen theory, web. His theory continues that it is the nature of the family that its
members are intensely connected emotionally. Family members so profoundly affect each other’s thoughts, feelings, and actions. Therefore, people solicit each
other’s attention, approval and support and react to each other’s needs, expectations, and distress. Bowen gives example that once a person takes too
much responsibility for the distress of others in relationship to their unrealistic expectations of him, they will feel anxiety. This anxiety can cause family
members vulnerable to problems such as depression, alcoholism, affairs, or physical illness.
According to Moira Eastman in Family: The Vital Factor, families are one of the most valued aspects of life, and membership of a family is associated with
personal happiness. It can be understood here that family is one of the factor having a big influence on its member’s personal happiness. The reason why it is
the most valued aspect of life is that because a child’s personality and behavior are formed inside a family by the sufficiency of the happiness.
2.1.7 Children
According to Kagan in Child Development and Personality, interactive experiences with other children facilitate cooperate play later on qtd. in Mussen
et al 189. It means that children who like to meet each other and having communication will naturally determine their own play. Mussen et al adds that it
is a play that brings children together and provides a setting for the formation and maintenance of social relationships, including friendships 426. It seems here that
play time can bring a positive effect among children that they will find somebody else out to whom they can share time and enjoyment of thing.
Beside, Lewis and Saarni as quoted in Child Development and Personality suggest that thoughts and memories, and even previous emotional experiences,
can also elicit feelings, particularly as children get older 408. Petti in the same book adds that depression is associated with family disruption and loss or
unpredictability of important people in the child’s life 416. On the other hand, it seems to be true that there is a connection between
children and race in the story of The Kite Runner which bases its story on the
relationship between two children and covers it with the description of culture and race. There are some opinions suggested by some authors regarding the
relationship between children and races. Bogardus as quoted in Milner’s Children and Race reasserts that the
origins of racial prejudice lay in ‘direct’ and ‘derivative’ personal experiences 22. Direct experiences are explained to involve either physical repulsion due to
appearance, smell, habits, living environment or social behavior. The derivative experiences are the second-hand experience and attitudes culled from friends,
relations, public speakers, newspapers, and the like. Therefore, it can be seen now that rejection of someone else comes from two different ways. Bruno Lasker’s
opinion in his book Race Attitudes in Children as quoted by Milner gives a reassertion that how the child is certain to have his mind canalized, even before he
starts going to school, into habitual acceptance of the prevailing racial attitudes of the group within which he lives. Based on the study of development done by
Lasker, the average child is made to notice outer differences and to accept them as signs of inner differences in value. Furthermore, he identifies the role of the
parents in transmitting attitudes, by accident or design, and the importance of the
school, and other social institutions in reinforcing the children Milner 23.
Milner divides the number of factors which account for discriminating; there are obvious physical and cultural differences between racial groups which
may be used as a reason for discriminating; there can be real or perceived competition for scarce resources, so that individuals may stand to gain by
discriminating; there is frequently a history of hostility between the groups which
may pre-dispose them to this kind of behavior; and iv the participants in the discrimination are often not known to each other, so there is no real social
relationship to mitigate the discrimination 41. Milner also explains that children inhabit social realities such as the home,
the street, the school and the recreation ground with correspondingly few identities 65. Starting from the existence of those social realities, Milner
continues that children absorb an idea of their standing in terms of qualities, that is, a rudimentary sense of identity.
Related to the culture of the Pashtuns in Afghanistan Paul Hockings Ed says that a Pashtun man tends to be indulgent toward their children culturally
Encyclopedia of World Cultures 232.
2.1.8 Historical Background of Afghanistan
