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her academic capability, she thought she had nice behavior. “I never did anything bad. That‟s why I felt calmer” B88.
6. Friends’ Acceptance: For Baez, friends‟ acceptance was very important. Thus, Baez would not do things which were not acceptable in friendship circle,
even though if that was what she needed to improve her English. Baez, for example, could not hear her teacher voice because it was too soft B9. Even
though Baez knew she needed to ask questions because of this, Baez chose to remain silent. “There was this student who asked a lot of questions. Asking what
had been explained already. If I asked I‟m afraid my friends would say, „It has been explained already‟” B89. In her English course, the situation was a bit
different. The number of the student was only half of the number of the student in her class. “There were more or less 18” B90. This was why Baez was braver to
ask more questions. Other than that, Baez often had more time to study face to face with the teachers there B91. Because the potential for her to be judged by
her friends was less, Baez felt relaxed in her English course. Regarding cheating, Baez also put her friends‟ acceptance first than other
things. Cheating is an activity which is considered wrong in educational world. However, Baez chose to keep doing it. Baez was not worried that it was
considered wrong in the context of educational world. Instead, Baez was worried about what her friend would say if, after cheating himher, Baez‟s score would be
higher than himher. “Usually those who cheat would have higher score than those cheated. I was afraid my score would be higher than a friend I cheated.
Fortunate ly, my score was lower” B92.
104 7. What a Test is
. For Baez, a test is a tool t o check students‟ understanding on
what has been learnt. Thus, after cheating, Baez felt her performance during 2015 English National Examination was useless B94. It was because by cheating the
function of the National Examination did not work. Baez could not know if she had understood what was learnt because she cheated.
The dysfunction of the English National Examination was not only resulted from her own deed of cheating. It was also resulted from the design of the
National Examination itself. According to Baez, what was tested in the 2015 English National Examination was different from what she had learnt during
Senior High School. “National Examinations for the last five years were the same. The designs were almost similar. In my year it was very different. It was like we
were taken somewhere we didn‟t know” B93.
3. Sting’s Structural Description Interpretation
The structures which were reflected on Sting‟s feelings, thoughts, and deeds during the preparation for and performance on the 2015 English National
Examination were formed by Sting‟s
motivation to graduate
, his
idea on autonomy
, and his
idea on control
. 1.
Motivation to Graduate
: Sting‟s final goal in Senior High School is to graduate. Thus Sting was more nervous in preparing for the National Examination
when the National Examination score was still used as a requirement to graduate S11. When it was no longer used to determine students‟ graduation, Sting‟s
focus was moved to School Examination S13. It was because Sting thought School Examination results were what would be used to determine his graduation.
When School Examination was over, Sting felt so relaxed S12. He would no PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
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longer need to deal with graduation requirement. He would only need to deal with the National Examination, of which score would only be used as education quality
mapping and public university enrollment, but not as a determinant for his graduation.
After the National Examination was no longer used to determine students‟
graduation, Sting deemed the National Examination to be just formality. Thus the preparation for it was also considered as formality. In preparing for the National
Examination Sting only followed the plot given by the school. He studied in school and routinely joined additional course given by the school. But when he
found difficulties in listening, such as difficulties in understanding British English speakers or speakers who spoke very fast, he did not try to find the way to solve
them himself. He relied on what was already given by the school S22. Other than that, even though Sting created a study group to help him and his friends to
face the National Examination, the method used in the study group was not very different from the method implemented in school: working on the National
Examination question samples S8.
2. Autonomy
: Not only to graduate, for Sting it was also important to be autonomous. The autonomy which Sting meant, however, was still compatible
with the higher authority in which he was under state and school. It was not conflicting with the National Examination or school. Indeed, Sting relied on the
method given by the school in solving his problems regarding listening. However, this was not because he was dependent to school. As stated previously, it was
resulted from the thought that the National Examination was merely formality. Whenever the school gave Sting tasks, Sting tried to do them by himself S30. He
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sometimes asked his friends or the teachers, but even when he did not, he would still be fine S38; S39. When working on the examination, Sting also did not
cheat. Even though there were leaked examination questions and key answers, and many of his friends asked him to cheat, Sting chose to work on the examination
himself S30. Sting also felt anxious when he imagined the ticking time which would move
backward and be shown in his computer screen during the computer-based examination S37. He was also nervous when he imagined that every question in
the computer-based examination would be timed and he would not have the chance to review the answer he had given to the numbers he had done S37. It
showed Sting‟s need to have autonomy in time management. Sting could accept the fact that the authority gave him 90 minutes to work on the examination.
However, he needed to have freedom to decide how he would use the 90 minutes to finish the examination.
3. Control:
The last aspect which affected Sting‟s action, feelings, and thoughts was how he could control the National Examination with all of the boundaries
which had been given to him. He preferred to maximize his control on the room left to him rather than to widen or violate the boundaries. He would feel calm if he
had maximized his control in his own room. That was why Sting did not complain much about policies related to the National Examination. As a student he thought
all he could do was preparing for the examination. As long as he has prepared well he would feel calm and be ready to face the examination S40. That was also
why Sting was anxious when he heard the news about the error occurred during the listening section in one of paper-based examinations in his town S24. The
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error was made by the the National Examination organizers. It was out of his control. The error was the violation of boundaries which was made not by him but
by the authority. By letting the error happened the authority had widened Sting‟s room as a student which was supposed to just do the examination and not think
about technical matter regarding the National Examination.
4. Dolores’ Structural Description Interpretation
There were three features which form Dolore‟s structure of lived experience. The first feature is Dolores‟
independency
. The second is Dolores‟
will to help others
. The last is Dolores‟
habit to reflect
.
1. Independency
: Dolores‟ independency was reflected on some actions she did during the 2015 English National Examination. One of them was her initiative to
study examination questions herself by buying and working on books of examination questions DO4. She was also initiative enough to discuss English
with her friends and teachers DO5; DO10. Not only that, she even helped many of her friends understanding English examination materials DO7; DO10. Even
though when discussing Dolores dealt with many people, Dolores did not show dependency to them. It was especially because Dolores mostly helped instead of
asking for help from them DO7; DO10. Even though Dolores said her English improvement was affected by her warm teacher who was able to explain materials
well, her motivation to study English and discuss it with friends was not dependent on her or other teachers. For Dolores, it was not only her independency
that mattered. Others‟ independency also mattered to her. Her help to friends through discussions and tutorings were actually meant to make her friends be
more independent when doing the English National Examination DO11. This PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
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was why she felt upset when she found out one of her friends copied almost all her answers on the D-day of the National Examination DO39. Her friend action
showed strong dependency to her.
2. Will to help others
: Dolores was a student with good English. This was why she felt calm mostly during the preparation of the English National Examination
DO16; DO17. This was also why she was embarrassed when she knew that her tryout result was poor DO21. Dolores did not only use her ability for herself.
She also used it to help others to understand English. When discussing, thus, Dolores taught her friends more. She gave more than taking. When Dolores‟
teacher implicitly asked her to help other friends on the D-day by giving answers to them, Dolores‟ strong will to help others was in conflict with her way of seeing
independency. On one side, Dolores wanted to help her teacher and friends. On the other side, independency when working on examination was important to her.
Eventually, Dolores overcame the dilemma by still giving answers to her friends but limiting the number of students receiving her answers DO44.
3. Self-understanding:
Dolores‟ habit to reflect brought her to several conclusions which helped her to find her weaknesses in English. One of them was
her finding that she was weak in written English DO25. Another one was her difficulties in listening DO28; DO29. Dolores‟ reflection made her watched her
own development during and after the 2015 National Examination, especially in reading and listeningDO24; DO25; DO28; DO29; DO30; DO32. After the
National Examination Dolores admitted she improved her reading and listening skills DO24; DO25; DO28
; DO29; DO30; DO32. Dolores‟ habit to reflect was also shown in the analysis she found regarding her own performance on the d-day
