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obstacle. Other than that, another difficulty was how to fill the answer sheet on time while the listening texts were played DO31. “We cannot be late, not even
once. I think I made many mistakes in the listening. I was doubtful with the answers” DO31. However, the experience on listening in the 2015 English
National Examination preparation made Dolores had better understanding on listening. “I understand spoken English better” DO32.
7. On not being careful
: Dolores said she was satisfied enough with her English National Examination result DO33. However, she regretted her being not careful
during the English National Examination DO34. “The answer was supposed to be C. But probably I did not see carefully. I answered D,” Dolores said DO35.
Dolores also did not recheck her answers carefully DO35. When she rechecked she changed some of her previous answers and after the examination ended she
had just realized that some of the previous answers she changed were actually right DO36.
8. Dilemma on cheating
: When the English National Examination was going on, other students near Dolores‟ seat asked for her answers. One of them was her
friend which she often helped during the English National Examination preparation DO37. Another one was a student sitting b
ehind her DO38. “The student did not ask for my permission. And, alright, I said, „If you want answers,
ask. Don‟t copy that much‟” DO39. On one side, Dolores was so upset with the student‟s deed DO40. Dolores did not like the fact that the student copied all of
her answers DO39. On the other side, Dolores understood the student‟s and other students‟ situation DO40. “My friends‟ English ability in this public
school was lower than my friends in private school” DO40. Not only to the two PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
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students sitting near her, Dolores said her answers were spread by other students to the students in the class through
whatsapp
and text messages DO41. Dolores said her concentration was disturbed when other students asked for her answers
DO43. It happened in the listening section DO43. Dolores then told her friend to wait until the listening section was over if wanting the answers DO43.
Dolores‟ decision to finally show her answers to other students was actually triggered by her teacher‟s request DO44. One day, after region-level tryout
results came out, her teacher told the class, ”To those who know English better, it doesn‟t matter if you help your friends in the National Examination” DO45.
Dolores was surprised the first time she heard her teacher said it DO46. Dolores presumed the teacher said it because the region-level tryout results were poor
DO45. Even though was surprised Dolores still did what her teacher told her. “It would be very arrogant for me for not helping friends in the National
Ex amination DO44.” To overcome her dilemma, even though finally decided to
show her answers to other students, Dolores limited the number of students receiving answers directly from her DO44.
9. The most difficult examination
: Dolores said the 2015 English National Examination was more difficult than previous exams she had done before DO47.
Different from her English Junior High School National Examination which was more explicit, according to Dolores the 2015 English National Examination was
more impl icit. “We have to interpret the meaning of sentences first” DO 48.
Dolores also compared the 2015 English National Examination to the English National Examinations before 2015. She considered the 2015 English National
94
Examination more difficult than prev ious examinations. “This year‟s exam was
very difficult. There were so many new difficult words” DO47.
10. Positive impacts
: The National Examination and Dolores‟ preparation
process for it bring benefits to Dolores even after she graduated from senior high school. Texts she learnt during the preparation gave new information to her
regarding foreign countries. “Not only Indonesia. Foreign culture. English speaking countries‟ cultures” DO49. Dolores also did not find significant
difficulties when doing English university entrance examination because she had prepared herself before the
English National Examination. “It felt like I have had special preparation for it entrance examination” DO50. The skills she learnt
during the National Examination were also useful in helping her studying in her major now Dolores is now studying in English Literature Department DO51.
B. INDIVIDUAL STRUCTURAL DESCRIPTIONS
INTERPRETATION
This part exposes interpretation of each participant‟s individual story regarding the 2015 English National Examination. It includes Dylan‟s, Baez‟s, Sting‟s and
Dolores‟ structural descriptions.
1. Dylan’s Structural Description Interpretation
Dylan‟s lived experience was dominated by five features. The first one is how he lived
learning as a process
. The second is
independency
. The third one is his
habit to reflect
. The fourth one is his
necessity to graduate
and the last one is his
father’s influence.
1. Learning as a Process
. For Dylan, learning English was all about how he could improve his English. Dylan had already memorized five vocabularies every
day since he was in the IX
th
grade of Junior High School. Dylan did the habit not PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
95
for the sake of the National Examination. He did that so that he could be good in English. “When I was in Junior High School, I was taught by this teacher. She
taught me, um, if we want to study English, to
master
it, we‟ve got to at least master vocabulary” D4. Other than memorizing five vocabularies every day,
Dylan also routinely watched English movies without subtitles and found the meaning of words he considered difficult in the movies D6;D7. Dylan did it
because he wanted to learn more English words. What motivated Dylan was similar: he wanted to master English, especially which is used in daily life.
Because Dylan see learning as a process, it was not satisfying for him if the National Examination was used to determine his graduation. Dylan felt nervous,
tense, and uneasy during the National Examination preparation because he knew it would be used to determine his graduation D18. The National Examination was
only conducted for three days. Meanwhile, he had studied in Senior High School for three years. Dylan did not think it was fair if his three-year learning process
was depended on three- day examination. “It‟s was so unfair. Learning is a
process. A process cannot be measured in just three days” D16. Thus, when Dylan knew the National Examination was no longer used to determine
graduation, Dylan felt calm, satisfied, relieved and freed D31; D32. Dylan‟s way of seeing learning, which was, as a process, apparently brought
benefits to Dylan‟s process of doing the 2015 English National Examination, even though, according to Dylan this examination focused more on result than process.
Dylan‟s learning process helped him a lot not just in the English National Examination, but also in School Examination and other examinations. It
especially helped him in listening. According to Dylan, knowing exactly PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
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meanings of words w as important when he did listening. “Word meaning which is
guessed by seeing the context is sometimes inaccurate” D38. Dylan‟s learning process helped him understand many word meanings.
2.
Independency:
Dylan‟s independency was shown in some initiatives he did during the preparation and on the D-day of the National Examination. One of
them was his initiative to provide special time to study English himself during the National Examination preparation not only dependent on preparation given by
the school D3; D6. Other than that, Dylan independency can also be seen from his initiative to study English by doing his hobby: watching movie D6. “I have
liked watching movie since I was little,” Dylan said D39. Another initiative was shown in Dylan‟s attempt to deal with reading, one part in the English National
Examination which he considered difficult D36; D37. Realizing that he was weak in listening, Dylan tried to find a strategy he then used in the 2015 English
National Examination: when the speaker in the listening section of the examination read instruction, and when the speaker repeated the listening text,
Dylan did not listen to it. He used the time to work on his reading part of examination.
Dylan‟s independency can also be seen in his reaction on different types of teachers teaching him. Teachers who taught Dylan did not give significant impact
to Dylan‟s motivation in learning English. Teacher who taught him on the XII
th
grade did not teach very well according to Dylan D11. However Dylan kept trying to pay attention to the teacher D12. Even so, Dylan chose to learn new
material when he had understood the material discussed in class D13. He also studied Science sometimes. But all of these reactions did not show that his
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motivation to learn English was decreased because of the teacher. Even though Dylan did not like the way the teacher taught that much, Dylan was still motivated
to study English himself in class and at home D3; D6; D12; D13. Despite the fact that Dylan‟s motivation was not affected by how the teacher taught, a good
teacher would help Dylan to understand material better. According to Dylan, his teacher in the XI
th
grade could explain grammar complexity very well D40. This helped Dylan to learn maximally D40. Even so, Dylan was not dependent to his
teacher when studying.
3. Self-understanding:
Many of Dylan‟s decisions and actions during the 2015 English National Examination were rooted from the reflection he did regarding
his life and English learning process since he was young. Dylan‟s decision to
study English by watching movie, for example, was resulted from his reflection on his childhood hobby. “I have liked watching movie since I was little. That‟s
why I watched. English movies. Then, I listed the vocabularies” D39. Dylan also reflected how this habit affected his performance in the National Examination in a
good way D38. Other than that, Dylan‟s reflection also brought him to a conclusion that he was
weak in reading. “I was weak. Up to now I need more time in reading” D42. This weakness made Dylan read texts repeatedly in the National Examination. “In
reading I did a lot of repetitions so that I could really grasp the content” D42. Dylan‟s reflection also brought Dylan to correlation between his weakness and his
lack of reading habit when he was young. “I was not used to reading since I was kid. I do not enjoy reading that much” D41.
98 4. Necessity to Graduate:
Not only valuing learning as a process, Dylan also had the need to graduate. Unfortunately, these two features were often in conflict.
It was especially because Dylan‟s need to graduate must be met face-to-face with the National Examination, an examination which, according to him, focused more
on result than process D16. Dylan‟s conflict was getting sharper after he joined Science major. Main subjects in Science major apparently became too difficult for
him that he felt desperate D21; D22. Because Dylan wanted to graduate and he had problem in Science, he then spent more time to study Science and less time to
study English D23; D24. It was not quite right if I say Dylan did not enjoy learning English as a process anymore because Dylan still struggled to live the
value even though it was hard to do it when he was made to put much energy in a result-ba
sed examination D3; D6: D7; D26; D27; D29. Dylan‟s learning process was just distorted by Science and the National Examination. Dylan knew he was
not very good in Science. Yet, he had to study it to graduate. Dylan knew he was good in English. Yet, he could not spend enough time to improve it. His scores in
English were just average when he was in Science major D25. But this was not his biggest problem because he valued progress more than result. Dylan‟s problem
was related to the slow improvement he made in English. Dylan thought he was still not dilligent enough in studying vocabulary D43. He also thought he was
still not good enough in Listening D43. Both Science and English then became a burden to him D28. Dylan‟s conflict regarding learning as a process and the
need to graduate culminated when examination questions were leaked in Google Drive a day before the National Examination was held. Dylan was in the position
where he had to choose between believing in his process by not using the leaked PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
