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was why she felt upset when she found out one of her friends copied almost all her answers on the D-day of the National Examination DO39. Her friend action
showed strong dependency to her.
2. Will to help others
: Dolores was a student with good English. This was why she felt calm mostly during the preparation of the English National Examination
DO16; DO17. This was also why she was embarrassed when she knew that her tryout result was poor DO21. Dolores did not only use her ability for herself.
She also used it to help others to understand English. When discussing, thus, Dolores taught her friends more. She gave more than taking. When Dolores‟
teacher implicitly asked her to help other friends on the D-day by giving answers to them, Dolores‟ strong will to help others was in conflict with her way of seeing
independency. On one side, Dolores wanted to help her teacher and friends. On the other side, independency when working on examination was important to her.
Eventually, Dolores overcame the dilemma by still giving answers to her friends but limiting the number of students receiving her answers DO44.
3. Self-understanding:
Dolores‟ habit to reflect brought her to several conclusions which helped her to find her weaknesses in English. One of them was
her finding that she was weak in written English DO25. Another one was her difficulties in listening DO28; DO29. Dolores‟ reflection made her watched her
own development during and after the 2015 National Examination, especially in reading and listeningDO24; DO25; DO28; DO29; DO30; DO32. After the
National Examination Dolores admitted she improved her reading and listening skills DO24; DO25; DO28
; DO29; DO30; DO32. Dolores‟ habit to reflect was also shown in the analysis she found regarding her own performance on the d-day
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of the English National Examination DO24; DO25; DO28; DO29; DO30; DO32, the comparison she had regarding the 2015 English National Examination
and previous examinations DO47; DO48, and also on the impacts she had from her process on preparing and doing the 2015 English National Examination
DO49; DO50; DO51. C. INDIVIDUAL TEXTURAL-STRUCTURAL DESCRIPTIONS
STORIES AND INTERPRETATIONS
This part exposes each participant‟s individual story regarding the 2015 English National Examination and their interpretations. It includes Dylan‟s,
Baez‟s, Sting‟s and Dolores‟ textural-structural descriptions.
1. Dylan’s Textural-Structural Description Story and Interpretation
During the 2015 English National Examination, Dylan studied at school, at home, and shortly for six months only in an English Course D3-D14. At
school, not only studying in regular class, Dylan also studied in additional course D8. In the additional course Dylan especially learned reading, grammar, and
listening D8. There were two teachers who gave strong impression to Dylan D9-D13. The first one was his XI
th
grade teacher whom he considered friendly to students and was able to explain material well. The second one was his XII
th
grade teacher whom he considered not teaching well enough. At home, Dylan studied by himself by memorizing five vocabularies every day and by watching
English movies without subtitles D3-D7. During the 2015 English National Examination preparation Dylan mostly felt
nervous, tense, and uneasy D18. He overcame the feelings by praying and studying D19; D20. Dylan also thought that the National Examination was
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unfair because the three-day examination was used to determine his three-year process of learning D16. Dylan also felt desperate, especially because he joined
Science major which became too difficult for him to handle D21-D29. He spent more time for Science and less time for English afterward. Both Science and
English became burden for Dylan and Dylan felt sorry for his way of handling this problem.
When the National Examination was no longer used to determine students‟
graduation, thus, Dylan felt freed D31. He was more satisfied with this policy because he preferred the school as the party who should decide his graduation
D32. He became less aware and spent less energy for the National Examination D31.
When examination questions were leaked, Dylan used them D35. He used them especially to help him to work on the Science National Examination D35.
Nevertheless, he did not use them in the English National Examination D35. He did the examination by himself.
Realizing he was not very good in Reading, Dylan arranged a strategy to help him in working on the Reading part of the National Examination D36; D37.
While the speaker in the Listening section read instructions, or when the speaker repeated the reading of the texts and each number, Dylan worked on the Reading
part. He did that because he knew he needed more time to work on Reading. From Dylan‟s lived experience, it can be concluded that Dylan saw learning as
a process. What was important for Dylan was how he could improve his English; how he could be good in English, not how to have good mark in the National
Examination D4; D6; D7; D18: D16; D31: D32. This way of seeing learning PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
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apparently helped Dylan a lot when he worked on the English National Examination D38.
For Dylan, it was also important to be independent. This was why Dylan came out with many initiatives during the preparation and on the d-day of the National
Examination D3; D6; D36; D37; D39. This was also why Dylan‟s motivation was still stable even though he was taught by different types of teachers D3; D6;
D11; D12; D13; D40. Dylan was also in the habit of reflecting thus he had good self understanding.
Many of Dylan‟s decisions and actions during the 2015 English National Examination were rooted from the reflection he did regarding his life and English
learning process since he was young D38; D39; D41; D42. For Dylan, graduating was also an important achievement. Unfortunately, this
was in conflict with his way of seeing learning as a process D16. It was because, in order to graduate Dylan had to pass the National Examination and the
National Examination focused on result. Some of Dylan‟s deed during the National Examination preparation showed how he prioritize learning as a process
more D3; D6: D7; D26; D27; D29. Some others showed how he focused on graduating more D21-D24.
Dylan‟s father had significant influence in Dylan‟s life in general and in Dylan‟s process during the National Examination preparation in particular. One of
the indicator was Dylan‟s final decision to choose Science major even though Dylan actually preferred Language major D44; D45.
