38 Since Chick has chosen to be a “daddy’s boy”, he tries to be consistent with
his choice and its consequences. He always tries to make his father happy and proud of him and he always tries to avoid the things that his father does not like. His father
and his mother always have different arguments in deciding anyt hing related to the family’s sake and it often puts Chick in conflict whether he has to follow his father’s
opinion or his mother’s. Even in a small case like laughing when Chick listens to his mother singing, Chick feels it is like a betrayal to his father since his father does not
participate in their actions. This was when my dad was still in the picture. He’d be reading his newspaper
and she would walk over to him and drum on his shoulder, singing “this could be the start of something big”, and, of course, he wouldn’t even look up. Then
she’d come over to me and make like she was playing drumstick on my chest as she sang along. I wanted to laugh – especially when she said “fig” – but
since my father wasn’t participating, laughter felt like a betrayal Albom 46.
This conflict belongs to the approach-avoidance conflict as Chick has his own desire to both obtain the goal and escape from it. As explained by Worchel and
Cooper, approach-avoidance conflict is a conflict which involves only one goal which has both attractive and unattractive qualities associated with it 461. Chick’s
goal is to get his father’s love. However, the things that he has to do to gain his father’s love are the things that he wants to avoid sometimes. Actually, Chick never
really wants to choose between his mother and father since he needs and loves both of them. However, his father always forces him to choose and it depresses him with
his own choice. The reason why Chick chooses his father because he feels that he never truly has his father’s love, so he tries to get it by doing whatever his father’s
39 wants him to do, even though Chick often does not enjoy it and it often makes him in
conflict with his heartAlbom 33. To solve this conflict, Chick applies soothing. Blake and Mouton explain that soothing is putting concern for relationship above
one’s own concerns and perhaps denying or ignoring those concerns in the interests of preventing open conflict and covering up differences qtd. in Fitzpatrick and
Noller 106. Here, Chick does not want to betray his father. Chick concerns more to his father. Thus, he tries not to laugh with his mother although he does it at last
because he cannot stand when his mother tickles him.
2. Accepting his father’s return
His father leaves Chick without any reasons that he and his sister can understand. He leaves the family when Chick is eleven years old. After his father’s
leaving, Chick loses the figure of his role model. He misses his father badly. He tries to swallow and receive the facts that his father has left and he will never come back
again. However, after 8 years, his father comes back into his life and Chick can do nothing when he has his father in front of him. Whereas, during his father’s leaving,
he always dreams of the situation in which he can meet his father, only both of them, doing the guy’s thing and having the guy’s talk.
I used to dream about finding my father. I dreamed he moved to the next town over, and one day I would ride my bike to his house and knock on his
door and he would tell me it was all just a big mistake. And the two of us would ride home together; me on the front, my dad pedaling hard behind, and
my mother would run out the door and burst into happy tears Albom 111. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
40 Chick’s imagination shows how he really misses his father’s presence. Even
he tries to find his father’s figure by playing baseball because he can picture his father on the baseball field and in every movement that he makes. Until one day, his
father comes back for real in Chick’s first college game, watching him playing in the front row of the seats so that he can monitor his form.
I will never forget that day. It was a windy afternoon and the sky was a gunmetal color, threatening rain. I walked to the plate. I don’t usually look at
the seats, but for whatever reason, I did. And there he was. His hair was graying at the temples and his shoulders seemed smaller, his waist a bit wider,
as if he had sunk down on himself, but otherwise, he looked the same. If he was uncomfortable, he didn’t show it. I’m not sure I’d recognize my father’s
“uncomfortable” look, anyhow.
He nodded at me. Everything seemed to freeze. Eight years. Eight whole years. I felt my lip tremble. I remember a voice in my head saying, Don’t you
dare, Chick. Don’t you cry, you bastard, don’t cry Albom113.
From that situation it can be seen how much he misses his father and how he feels after he finds him again at last. Facing this situation, Chick actually can choose
how to react. He can stop the game, approach his father and release his burden by showing his father about his feeling. He can also continue the game, ignore his father
and act as if nothing happens. At that time, Chick experiences the double approach- avoidance conflict. According to Worchel and Cooper, the double approach-
avoidance is a conflict which involves a person in choosing between two goals, each of which has positive and negative aspects Worchel and Cooper 461. In this case,
Chick is situated to choose between two goals and each of which has positive and negative aspects. He can choose to cry to relieve his burden and feeling about his
father or to stay strong. If he cries, at least he can reduce the burden of his feeling but PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
