Conflicts in Family Family

19 Since family members have a frequent and intense close contact, which can lead them to annoyance and irritability, conflict cannot be separated from family life. Conflict usually occurs when family members disagree about the events and situations in their family lives. According to Fitzpatrick and Noller in Communication in Family Relationship, there are three main aspects of conflicts in a family. They are kinds of conflict, causes of conflict, and family conflict resolution Fitzpatrick and Noller 99. 1 Kinds of Conflict in Family Generally, conflicts in families can be divided into content issues and relationship issues. In Communication in Family Relationship as cited by Fitzpatrick and Noller, it is described that less satisfied couples have more conflicts than the more satisfied couples do. In content issues, the conflicts commonly occur in the areas of finance, family members, concerns about health and fitness, feelings about relationship, religious beliefs, plan for the future, feelings about personal appearances, competences, and things that lead to anger or depression. Though the areas of conflict between parents and adolescents are about day- to-day living in the family, the conflicts tend to be about minor matters like dress and social life. Other topics include personal hygiene, disobedience, schoolwork, social activities, friendships, chores, and fights with siblings. Adolescents argue about different topics with mothers and fathers. Argument with mothers tends to be about clothes, friendships and manners. Conflicts with fathers are about money, use of leisure time and attitudes toward school. 20 While the nature of the relationship issues is about the relationship itself. It can be in the form of principle about the right in making up decisions for the family, the feeling of being loved more or less than the other members, and the sharing time with other family members. In a brief description, the issues are likely in the field of love, trust, autonomy, and openness Fitzpatrick and Noller 102. 2 Causes of Conflict in Family The causes of conflict in family life may be varied. Money, love, friendship, and choices are only some examples of issues which may lead family members into conflicts. Generally, conflicts exist because family members perceive a difference between them. This difference becomes problems and gives impact to some members of the family Fitzpatrick and Noller 99. 3 Family Conflict Resolution Blake and Mouton, Pruitt and Rubin, and Rusbult are some experts who have proposed their models of conflicts resolution. In this section, the model of conflicts resolution proposed by Blake and Mouton will be discussed further since they are more applicable in making crisis decisions related to faithfulness and loyalty to the family in every condition. Blake and Mouton propose four responses to conflicts in the family. They are avoidance, competition, soothing and solving. Avoidance is seen as a lack of concern for either the self or the relationship and involves physically or emotionally retreating from the situation or being unwilling to talk about the situation. Competition is seen as putting one’s own concerns above those relationships and is characterized by minimal concern for others’ feelings. Soothing is seen as putting PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 21 concern for relationships above one’s own concerns and perhaps denying or ignoring those concerns in the interests of preventing open conflict and covering up differences. Solving is seen as balancing concerns for relationships with concern about one’s own interests. Schaap states that problem solving involves “the open and direct expression of feelings, exploring the causes of the conflict, clarifying misunderstandings and looking for a solution that is satisfying to both partners” qtd. in Fitzpatrick and Noller 106.

6. Family Relationship

The quality of the relationship in the family determines the output of the family members. In this case, parents have a big role in leading the relationship, whether it can give good or bad effects to the family members, especially their children. Bishop states the proof from the observation in the personality patterns of college students that when parents reject, their adolescent children are reported to be glum, suspicious, timid, insecure, anxious, introverted and tense. When they are loving, their children become extroverted, warm, conscientious, composed and happy. When they are neglectful, their children become serious, retiring, aloof, and anxious qtd. in Hurlock 352. Parents have to be a great team in maintaining the family relationship. They have to be able to fill up each other’s roles since children regard them as the models to imitate. Ideal family consists of a father, a mothe r and children. Through this kind of formation and a good teamwork, a high quality of family relationship can be achieved easily. However, in the real life, things cannot always run perfectly. If there 22 is an absence of one parent due to divorce, death or any other causes, it can influence the relationship between the family members. For instance, in Personality Development, Hurlock states that if the father’s absence is due to divorce or desertion, it will be a source of embarrassment. The father’s absence from home can psychologically damage the boys more than the girls, because of the lack of a source of masculine identification for the boys. This condition also brings effect to the mother. Since the leaving of the father creates extra burden of work and responsibility for the mother, she tends to compensate their loneliness by attaching themselves emotionally to their elder sons Hurlock 377.

B. Theoretical Framework

In conducting the study, the writer uses some theories to analyze the novel. This section explains some theories used in this study and the reasons why those theories are needed in this study. The first theory is the theory of character and characterization. The theory of character proposed by Perrine, Henkle, and Forster will help the writer determine the major character and minor characters in the story. The theory of characterization is also needed to guide the writer in analyzing how the main character is described by the author in the story. In this study, the writer applies the theory of characterization proposed by Murphy. This theory offers some methods which can be used to find out Chick Benetto’s characters and how his personality is portrayed in the novel. However, mannerism is the only method which will be used in analyzing Chick Beneto’s characters since it suits to the need of this study.