In addition, Fromm 2006, pp. 1-29 explains that love is an art which people seek to achieve interpersonal union. People understand that he is a weak
and ugly creature when they are alone therefore they seek interpersonal union. Interpersonal union can strengthen people and make them confident. Therefore,
love has become the most fundamental passion which becomes the force that keeps the human race together.
Love always implies certain basic elements which are care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. Care is the active concern for the life and growth of that
which we love. Responsibility is a voluntary act to response to the needs of another human being. Respect is the concern that other person should grow and
unfold as he is. Knowledge is the concern to deeply understand a person. Each of above elements is supporting each other and constitutes the definition of love.
Defining love is not that easy. Love is a word with many connotations and everyone has their own interpretations. According to James 2010, p. 2 love is a
universal experience and everyone will have different love and different way to love someone
.
Love itself is mysterious, magical, complex, difficult, and inspirational.
Therefore, People may have their own interpretations of love because the feeling that they have is different from one to another and the
experiences about love that they have is different from one another.
2.2.5 Mother’s Love and Father’s Love
Fromm 2006, p. 38-41 define mothers’ role and Fathers’ role as follows: Mother has a major in recognition and a minor in adaptation. It means that a
mother plays an important role in the development of children knowledge. Meanwhile, Father has a minor in recognition and a major in adaptation. It means
that a father play important role in how and when to apply the knowledge that the children already have. Mom and Dad make a perfectly complimentary pair, a
perfect balance of two very valuable and irreplaceable functions. Therefore it is important to have both of Mother’s love and father’s loves because both of them
play different role on the development of children personality, especially in the development of their confidence.
Truman 2007, p. 44-47 explains that a father and a mother play a different role in the development of their children. They also show and give their
love to their children differently, although it is different but both of them are important in the development of children. In the way of acceptance and
adaptation, in order for children to gain a high self-esteem both support from father and mother is needed. Until they have accepted Moms recognition, they
feel that Dads encouragement is only an invitation to hypocrisy and, quite likely, to failure or rejection. When Mom finally gets them convinced that they are who
they think they are, that they are great and so forth, and then, when Dad says Live like who you are, it all makes sense.
2.2.5.1 Mother’s Love
Mother Love is unconditional, and entirely accepting everything of her children. When a person is poorly positioned to gracefully receive critical
feedback, the mother will maximize empathy, and minimize critique. She understands that this is the kind of support upon which the progress of the young
ones depends. Mother’s love is bliss and peace. Mother’s love does not need to be acquired or deserved. Mother’s love also cannot be acquired, produced, or
controlled. Fromm, 2006, p. 38, 39.
Truman 2007, pp. 4-6, states that mother love is warm and fuzzy because mother’s love is all-embracing, non-specific, and prone to generalization.
But the fact that everything that the kids do is a wonderful thing in their mother’s eyes is in fact not wonderful. A mother will praise everything that her child does
even though it is only finishing his meal which is ordinary for common people. Mother would not point out which is good and which is bad. Mother love is
unconditional, non-discerning or indiscriminate. Mother’s love is everything because every little thing that a child does is wonderful in his mother eyes. A
mother loves her children because it is her child, not because the child has fulfilled any specific condition.
2.2.5.2 Father’s Love
According to Fromm 2006, p. 43 father’s love is conditional. A father loves his children because children have fulfilled a father’s expectations and done
their duty, and because they like their father. Father’s love has to be deserved. Father’s love can lose if one does not do what is expected. In father’s love,
obedience becomes the main virtue and disobedience become the main sin. Father’s love is also conditioned, which means that a child can acquire it and it is
not uncontrollable as motherly love is. Truman 2007, pp. 4-6
states that father love is very precise. It is perfectly
focused. Father knows that not everything is good. When the fathers sword of discrimination falls, it separates the good from the bad; it parses everything out
into discernable, properly differentiated pieces. Thus, it says, This that you are doing is good; this that you are doing is not good. This that you are doing is
helpful; this that you are doing is not helpful, or is unhelpful. Discernment is
what makes these distinctions. Discernment recognizes the fact that those aspects that are not good are in fact harmful. It keeps the person down. It creates suffering
for oneself and for others. Father love knows that, and shows that. This is what father love does.
2.2.6 The Father-Daughter Relationship
