Mr. Lewisham versus Ethel

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b. Mr. Lewisham versus Ethel

Ethel is Mr. Lewisham’s wife. Before she is married, she works as a typist at Séance with his stepfather and Lagune. Now, she mostly spends her life on her new apartment. She also has a new job as a novel typist. Mr. Lewisham’s first conflict with his wife is about jealousy. It happens when she sees Alice’s letter to him. In the letter, Alice writes about Socialism and Literature, the things that she will never understand. She becomes angry to him. She is jealous to Alice because her husband tells his works more to someone else than to his own wife. ‘Why- At first I was always trying. Socialism, religion – all those things. But you don’t care – you won’t care. You won’t have that I’ve thought over these things at all, that I care for these things It wasn’t any good to argue. You just care for me in a way – and all the rest of me – doesn’t matter And because I’ve got a friend…’ ‘Friend’ ‘Yes – friend’ ‘Why - you hide her letters. ‘Because I tell you wouldn’t understand what they are about. Nut, pah I won’t argue. I won’t You’re jealous and there’s the end of matter. ‘Well, who wouldn’t be jealous?’ p. 153 Here, he thinks that his wife does not understand due to her poor educational background. Commonly, as a well organized person who has good educational background, he must enjoy when he shares his ambition to Alice, a person who has similar background like him. It is different when he tells his dream to Ethel because her response is only listening not giving any comments or opinion about his dream and ambition p. 111. Beside, the time when she complaints to him is not the right time. He is still upset because he leaves his school. At this time, he is very sensitive, especially PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 45 when his wife starts quarreling with him. He cannot control his emotion. As the result he yells to her as the response. He finally goes out to avoid quarrels with Ethel. According to Rusbult, his behavior by getting out of his apartment is called exit as cited in Noller Fitzpatrick, 1993, p. 107. Exit is a conflict resolution where a husband or wife chooses to let the relationship become worse by leaving his spouse or by divorce. He gets out from his apartment to calm down without giving more explanations about Alice’s letter. Then, he evaluates himself how he should manage his acts to make the situation better. The stage of evaluating himself can be categorized as identity development. Identity development involves psychological processes of personal exploration Noller Fitzpatrick, 1993, p. 83. Through identity development, he explores himself what kind of person he is especially for his wife. Finally, he buys and sends roses to his wife to apologize and end his conflict with his wife. The act of buying roses is the example of intimacy. Intimacy is an act to share the true feelings for another spouse and it can be a strategy to deal a conflict between the spouses Noller Fitzpatrick, 1993, p. 95. Here, he shows his personality as a loving husband to his wife by sending some roses. He wants to emphasize that he still loves her and wants to fix their relation because of their tensions. However, Mr. Lewisham is angry when he gets home because Ethel puts his roses under the table. He sees that she is still angry with him and does not appreciate his honesty. She tries to clarify the situation with a reason. She thinks that the roses come from Mr. Baynes, her boss. She is afraid that it will lead into another quarrel again. That is why she hides the flower with that purpose p. 165. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 46 He does not believe her clarification. Hearing she mentions Mr. Baynes, his emotion strikes again. As a sensitive person, he cannot control himself, especially after the first problem. Moreover, this second problem is about another man which is a very sensitive problem for every husband commonly. When his wife makes the second mistake accidentally, he judges her that she is a disloyal wife without seeking the truth. Moreover, he is in a frustrated mood after leaving his schooling forever. As the result, he expresses his regret and his disappointment about his study and his marriage to her. He blames her for his failure. Another portentous silence. Ethel stirred and he turned his eyes to watch what she was about to do. She produced her handkerchief and began to wipe dry her eyes rapidly. First one and then the other and then she began sobbing. ‘I’m…. as loyal as you… anyhow, ‘she said. For a moment Lewisham was aghast. Then he perceived he must ignore the argument. ‘I would have stood it – I would have stood anything you had been loyal – if I could have been sure of you. I am fool, I know, but I would have stood the interruption of my work, the loss of any hope of a Career, if I had been sure you were loyal. I … I … cared for you a great deal.’ pp. 166-167 When he thinks that she is a disloyal person, he feels how fool he is. His decision to leave his study is very hard for him. He thinks that as long as he cares her and pays attention to his marriage, there is no a big problem between both of them. Now, he regrets for what he has done. Historically, education is the main factor why people chose late age for marriage. For some people, especially poor people, when they had a chance to continue their school, they would choose schooling first. Mr. Lewisham also has a chance to continue his education by his scholarship. However, he throws away his chance and spends his time by working for his marriage life. The reason is because he cannot focus on two different things. If he focuses on his study, he will spend all of his time to study. If he pays attention to PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 47 his marriage, he will spend all time to earn money and to take care all family matters. Nevertheless, he is very upset to her because she does not really understand why he leaves his schooling and works for his marriage. Moreover, he is very disappointed when his wife thinks about another man. However, she says that she is a loyal wife. What he thinks about her and Mr. Baynes are not true. She thinks that he has misunderstood. Nevertheless, he does not care about her explanations. He keeps blaming her for their problems. The way he does not listen to his wife is similar compared to the Victorian Era. The power of Victorian family was in the husband. The rule was the other members should listen to the husband or the father. The other members were seen but not to be heard in front of the husband. That is why he does not want any reasons from his wife. Therefore, his wife is the one who should listen to his disappointment. Mr. Lewisham cannot hold his anger anymore. Finally, he says to her that he will leave her. As a sensitive person, he uses exit resolution again by threatening that he will leave Ethel without thinking the effects for their future. Nevertheless, he spends some times to reconsider his decision. At the end, he changes his decision when seeing her crying and hearing her explanations. ‘Dear one,’ said Lewisham. ‘Dear I have been cruel to you. I have been unjust. I understand. I do understand. Forgive me. Dearest-forgive me.’ ‘I did want to do something for you. It was all I could do-that little money. And then you were angry. I thought you didn’t love me anymore because I don’t understand your work… And that Miss Heydinger-Oh It was hard.’ ‘Dear one,’ said Lewisham,’I do not care your little finger for Miss. Heydinger.’ ‘I know I hamper you. But if you will help me. Oh I would work, I would study. I would do all I could do to understand.’ p. 172. It can be seen that both of them use negotiation to resolve the conflict. He confesses his bad acts and asks her to forgive him. Ethel herself applies negotiation PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 48 in this conflict that she will find a way to understand him more and work to add their income. Both of them have their own solutions to fix their marriage. Beside applying negotiation, both of them also apply voice for their conflict. Voice is a kind of conflict resolution in marriage where both spouses clarify what they feel. In this novel, they are being open each other. She tells how her weaknesses cannot support his dream. He also tells that he will not think about her weaknesses anymore and loves her unconditionally. The way he understands her shows his love to her by accepting all of her strengths and weaknesses to end their conflict.

2. His Intrapersonal Conflicts