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in this conflict that she will find a way to understand him more and work to add their income. Both of them have their own solutions to fix their marriage. Beside
applying negotiation, both of them also apply voice for their conflict. Voice is a kind of conflict resolution in marriage where both spouses clarify what they feel. In
this novel, they are being open each other. She tells how her weaknesses cannot support his dream. He also tells that he will not think about her weaknesses
anymore and loves her unconditionally. The way he understands her shows his love to her by accepting all of her strengths and weaknesses to end their conflict.
2. His Intrapersonal Conflicts
Worchel and Cooper 1979 define an intrapersonal conflict as a conflict within individual p. 499. One will face his own preferences. He will choose the
better one that gives him many advantages and few disadvantages. In Wells’ Love and Mr. Lewisham, there are some intrapersonal conflicts
faced by Mr. Lewisham. From his conflicts, he considers whether his choice is better for his marriage and his study. His decision will show whether he has done
the right thing or not. Mr. Lewisham’s intrapersonal conflicts are:
a. Choosing his Study or Marriage
The conflict begins when Mr. Lewisham meets Ethel for the second time at Séance. He decides to forget her forever. He is very serious to build his career.
However as a doubtful person, he cannot keep his career. When he faces with his desire to have someone he loves, his purpose to study is questioned. The figure of
Ethel cannot disappear from his mind. Due to his past experience that she has left him in Whortley, he does not want to lose her anymore. He wants her to be his.
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‘Listen to me,’ said Mr. Lewisham. ‘It is hard to say what I feel. I don’t know myself… But I’m not going to lose like this. I’m not going to let you
slip a second time. I was awake about it last night. I don’t care where you are, what your people are, nor very much whether you’ve keep clear of this
medium humbug. I don’t. You will in future. Anyhow. I’ve had a day and night to think it over. I had come to you. Never. I’m not going to be sent
back like this.’ p. 69.
No matter how hard she asks him to leave her because of their different background, he still insists on being together with her p. 690. Their romantic
things happen again in South Kensington. He even buys her a set of gold rings and pearl for her as a symbol of his love p. 77. In fact, formerly, he has planned to
spend his money on his study needs but it becomes different now. When Ethel sees him again, he does not want to lose this chance. As a
loving person, he wants to protect someone he loves by staying beside her. He begins to plan a marriage with her but it is not a simple matter. In his mind, he
pictures his life only of his study and his relationship with her. His ambition is to be a science professor like Huxley and Lockyer – his inspirations- p. 43. He puts
his life into his great dream. In the Victorian Era, some universities in Britain were not controlled by the
government Barker, 1955, pp. 127-128. The professors were appointed by the universities. The curriculum itself was designed by the professors. Even, they could
express their own political or social view. In other words, they were free to use any standards at their universities. That is why in this novel, Mr. Lewisham really
keeps his ambition. He wants to have his own authority in his position and profession.
He is very confused if his love ruins his study or his study ruins his love. He faces a dilemma whether choosing his study or Ethel.
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On the other hand that shining staircase to fame and power, that had been his dream from the very dawn of his adolescence, and on the other hand –
Ethel. And if he chooses Ethel, even then, would he have his choice? What would come of it? A few walks more or less She was hopelessly poor, he
was hopelessly poor, and this cheat of a Medium was her stepfather After all she was not well-educated, she did not understand his work and his
aims… pp. 85-86
It is clear that first, he does not mind about her background but when he wants to live with her, he thinks about her intellectuality and her stepfather. He thinks
whether those will support his study or not. As a thoughtful person, he cannot decide only based on her background but he needs more considerations as the
references which support his decision later. He sees society’s view about marrying at a young age because the middle
class family will warn their son to ignore love or marriage until the son is independent and finishes the study p. 86. In the Victorian Era, a man and a
woman from the middle class would get married at twenty-seven or twenty eight even more. The reasons were they should prepare their live including finishing
their studies and getting a good job to feed their future family. Compared to Mr. Lewisham’s age which is twenty one years old, it is a risky choice for him to
choose a marriage. Mr. Lewisham’ conflict is categorized as an approach-approach conflict.
According Worchel and Cooper 1979, approach-approach conflict is a conflict
which has two attractive goals p. 460. In his case, he cannot choose which one is
stronger because both of them are attractive to him. He also does not want to lose his chance to get Ethel back. His study will satisfy his ambition and his marriage
will satisfy his love. As the answer, he chooses both of them for his life.
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In order to resolve his conflict, he applies adding cognition. Adding cognition is the only way why a person takes his own decision if there are no better
choices Worchel Cooper, 1979, p. 118. As a thoughtful person, the way he ensures his decision is by listening to Parkson and Dunkerly, his classmates, for
their opinion about his problem pp. 91-92. Parkson’s suggest to him is to leave a love matter and study or postpone marriage to finish the study. On the other hand,
Dunkerly thinks that it is better getting married as soon as possible no matter what the condition is. He finally chooses the safety way which is getting married and
also continuing his study to keep his dream and also his love as the only way for him p. 95. He also adds some cognition by giving a reason that he is afraid if they
will separate again p. 100. He also explains to Ethel that a marriage is the only resolution for her to get out from her job at Séance. In another word, he persuades
her to agree for his decision. His conflict continues until he makes his final decision whether he keeps his
study or marriage. His marriage has surprised many people especially those who are older than him. The first person is an old gentleman, his marriage witness. He
says that Mr. Lewisham is very young and life will be hard for both Mr. Lewisham and Ethel p. 107. The second person is Mr. Blendershin who works in the
scholastic agent. Mr. Lewisham meets him when he wants to apply a job for teaching. Mr. Blendershin says that if he becomes Mr. Lewisham, he would prefer
to get a degree rather than get married p. 135. Another person is from College of Pedagogues in Holborn. His age is twice than Mr. Lewisham’s age and he has not
married to achieve a high position for his job. He says similar thing. He advises him to do some great efforts for a good position at university p. 140. Hearing a lot
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of advices, Mr. Lewisham is doubtful and confused for the first time after he is married.
Finally, when his proposal is rejected because he has not got his degree, he is very upset. Moreover, there is no more additional income from him and Ethel.
He is very frustrated. He cannot concentrate well in his study. As a well organized person, he is used to focus on one priority which his study previously. However,
marriage is not his priority at first. The result is when he becomes a student as well as a husband, he cannot arrange his life for his study and marriage. At this time, he
cannot organize himself well. Meanwhile, his wife often complains because she is very dull when he is not at their apartment. Here, he spends his own time to thinks
about his matter. The climax is when he gets a bad score in Biology final examination and he decides not to come to his school anymore and spends his life
on working p. 149. In other words, he leaves his ambition or dream and chooses his marriage as his final answer.
Here, he is trapped in a double approach-avoidance conflict where both goals have advantages and disadvantages. He is in a dilemma to choose which one
is the most important, marriage or study. If he chooses his study, he will ignore Ethel but he will concentrate on his dream more. If he chooses his marriage, he will
have Ethel and give more attention to her but he will ignore his study unconsciously. Black and Mountain say that when someone chooses a decision, he
should think whether his decision will break his relationship with others or not as cited in Noller Fitzpatrik, 1003, p. 106. He also considers whether his decision
to study will break his marriage or not.
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Compared to the previous conflict, which is approach-approach conflict, there is a specific difference. The difference is Mr. Lewisham only hears the
argument from inexperienced people which are Parkson and Dunkerly at the previous conflict. Both of them are still young and have not got their degree. His
mistake is he does not search any arguments from experienced people who are older and who have higher levels than him. Another difference is he does what
Dunkerly says by marrying Ethel as soon as possible without considering his future life, especially the effect for his study. Contrarily, he does not do what the elders
say. He just listens to their suggestions to compare his life if he does not marry Ethel. However, he must not regret his previous decision because he must take the
consequences later since he is the first person who has this idea. As a thoughtful person, he takes others’ opinion from experienced people as
the references to determine his decision. He wants to ensure himself that he does not take a wrong decision for his future and also his wife. Therefore through those
considerations again he applies adding cognition again. There he cannot choose both marriage and study. He has experienced his new life as a husband as well as a
student. He knows very well the disadvantages and advantages his first decision. As the result he must leave one of them, especially when he gets the worst score at
his examination, even though both of them are his desires. Beside that reason, he has not had any problems with his wife at that time. There are no reasons for him to
leave his wife. The only decision he can take is leaving his study and getting a job to manage his new life, his marriage. He has no other ways anymore.
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b. Leaving Ethel or not
