husband once the girl is of marriageable age. It is possible that the husband is still obliged to work for his in-laws after the marriage. This depends on the age of the daughter when the agreement was made.
The marriage ceremony mentioned above is less important for this kind of marriage and is often omitted. If the marriage should encounter problems the couple may decide to go through with the
ceremony with the hope of redressing their misfortune and guaranteeing the ancestors’ acceptance of their union.
Beninese law says little about bride service—or bride price—except to accord it symbolic value. Anani explains the situation as follows:
article 142 of the Person and Family Code [of Benin] consecrates bride price in these terms: “bride price has a symbolic character.” By this apparently evasive provision, the Beninese legislator is
happy to regulate the problem of bride price. Indeed, this article gives neither a definition of bride price, nor the composition or beneficiaries of this traditional practice. It just emphasises its
symbolic value. 2008:29, translation mine
A third type of arranged marriage is where a girl is given to exonerate a death.
4.1.3 Marriage of acquittal
A marriage of acquittal is called dī nīitipóbande, a compound noun formed from the words ū niitɔ ‘person’,
pó ‘to kill’ and dī bande ‘debt’. This type of marriage is an exception rather than a norm, and is usually a consequence of manslaughter. The person responsible for the death is obliged to give one of his sisters to
the family of the person killed as an act of acquittal. Albert told me that it still happens that daughters are given in acts of acquittal despite this being against the law when there are serious problems
between two families, even if nobody has died. He added that the daughter should be given to an older man who will know how to treat her well, as the two families want to assure that peace is maintained
between them. This being the case, this sort of marriage is not understood as a punishment for the girl.
21
When a young woman learns that her marriage is being arranged, either through an exchange, through bride service, or as an act of acquittal, she may choose to elope with a man of her choice.
4.1.4 Marriage by elopement
Marriage by elopement is called ū pōcɔ̄ɔ̄tu ‘taking a woman’. The compound noun is formed from the
words ū pūōhɔ̰ ‘woman’ and m̄ cɔ̄ɔ̄tīmɛ ‘the act of taking’. Although the name implies that the man is
responsible for taking the woman, the decision to elope is a joint one, as the couple are already in a relationship. Usually the couple are confident that, once things have calmed down following their
elopement, their families will allow them to stay together. Often the couple meet in public places— during festivals or at the market, for example. The couple use their friends as intermediaries
22
to plan their rendezvous, and eventually, the date when they will elope together. On the chosen day, the couple
flee to the man’s family and he presents his new wife to his parents. A few days after their elopement, an elder from the husband’s family, who is well respected and
wise, visits the woman’s family to inform them of the union and to mediate on behalf of the new couple. If the girl’s family accepts the marriage, the two can stay together with the condition that, in the near
future, the man’s family will compensate his in-laws by giving one of his sisters in exchange for his wife. Thus, the elopement takes on the status of an arranged marriage where two sisters are exchanged cf.
21
See also Lanz 2013:7–8 who describes a similar situation amongst the Berba, northern neighbours of the Bebelibe.
22
See anecdote about Etienne, Josué and Chloé 6.2.1 for an example of the intermediary’s role and potential consequences.
Huber 1969:262. If the wife is unable to have children, however, the husband is not obliged to give a sister.
Mathilde married her husband in this way. After their elopement, her family accepted their union and her husband promised a girl in exchange for her. Mathilde’s husband died before he was able to
fulfil his debt. The family had the right to demand Mathilde’s daughter in payment, but as her husband died young, the family renounced the debt.
If the family does not agree with the union of the eloped couple, they will snatch the daughter back, using force if necessary.
Another form of this type of marriage is called ū pōcɔ̄ɔ̄tītēdīmū ‘taking a woman and running’ and is
formed from the words ū pūōhɔ̰ ‘woman’, m̄ cɔ̄ɔ̄tīmɛ ‘the act of taking’ and m̄ tēdīmū ‘the act of running’.
This form of elopement happens when the couple already know that the woman’s family will not agree to their union. Typically, they flee the area on market day when the woman’s absence will not be
discovered until the evening. Often, the couple seeks refuge with the man’s maternal family or they hide in a remote location. The man informs his paternal family that he has taken a wife, and as above, the
family then chooses a family elder who will negotiate on the man’s behalf with the woman’s family. The couple stay hidden until the union has been formalised with the woman’s family as the woman’s family
will probably try and find her to take her back again. It is possible that the couple will have to wait several years, or until the arrival of their first child, before the woman’s family finally capitulates and
agrees to the union. Once the family accepts their daughter’s marriage, it is understood that the husband will give a sister in exchange for her.
23
For both types of elopement, the marriage ceremony only takes place if the couple encounter problems in their marriage, assuming that the elopement has been formalised with the families
concerned. As patterns in marriage change, I suspect that the need to elope will decrease as the laws against marriage exchange are enforced.
4.2 Western-style marriages
