A man takes a woman and that’s it. He doesn’t give anything for her. There’s no arrangement. In the old days, he was always required to give a sister, gifts or his labour.
Today, the young don’t like marriage. Women want more freedom and choice. A man’s riches are more important than his character and behaviour. Prostitution is increasing and girls search
for rich men. The men take them, pay them, and then send them on their way. The girls become prostitutes
zemijans
26
. The moment their breasts begin to develop, girls start looking for rich men. Consequently, there are many abortions. The men also, they chase the women and take
them. After a while, they desert them to take other women. Even if a couple should get married, there’s a lot more divorce
m̄ yēn̄tīmɛ. The women are abandoned together with their children. The ex-husband makes no provision for them and there’s
nobody to take care of them, and so the abandoned women turn to prostitution to survive. Before the arrival of the whites, traditional marriage worked fine. Interview in October 2004,
Cobly Fortunately, the situation does not seem quite as bleak as Antoine would have it. Christian
marriages tī wēnpōpōōte ‘God’s marriage’ and civil weddings tī pīenpōpōōte ‘white man’s marriage’ are
increasing and becoming more popular. Together with Christian marriage, the idea of formal engagements
tī pōcīn̄cīnte
27
has been introduced.
4.2.2 Civil wedding
The civil wedding is the only form of marriage recognised by Beninese law. A civil wedding is conducted either by the mayor, a member of the Commune council or the district chief, and takes place at the town
hall. Before a couple can get married they need to provide birth certificates, recent medical certificates that both partners have seen, and—where relevant—proof that they are no longer married certificate
of death if widowed, or divorce papers. Church pastors require that couples first have a civil wedding before they will perform a Christian wedding ceremony.
4.2.3 Christian marriage
Mathilde, whose marriage was through elopement that was then recognised as one of exchange, is Catholic and knows several couples who have had a Christian wedding. She believes that the success of
Christian marriages is based on the mutual respect of the couple for their church priest or pastor and for God. She thinks that God does not recognise Bebelibe marriages. She has come to the conclusion that
Christian marriages are the most stable marriages as the couple can count on the support of their church. She thinks the church has taken on the role that the family would have had in Bebelibe marriages.
Should the two families of the couple be Christian too, all the better.
I have observed the family role that a church can hold during Assemblies of God wedding ceremonies that I have attended locally. All the pastors present were recognised as the “fathers” of the
two individuals being married. In turn, the pastors referred to the couple as their “children”. Following the exchange of vows and rings, all the “fathers” present were invited to come and pray for their
“children”. The first Assemblies of God evangelists, who were American and Burkinabe, came from Burkina Faso to Benin in the 1940s Akibo 1998:17. The church was established in the Atacora in the
1950s J. Merz 1998:41; Akibo 1998:19, 22–23. Laurent, who wrote about the Mossi of Burkina Faso, has noted that
26
Zemijan is a word originating from Fon, spoken in southern Benin, which is used for taxi-motorbikes. This word has also come to mean “prostitute” as the women move around quickly and often.
27
One can also say bɛ cīīni ‘they are engaged’.
The protestant community [the Assemblies of God], and more explicitly, the family of the pastor, become a refuge and then the new family, for young female protestant fugitives; the pastor then
becomes responsible for arranging their marriage. By this mechanism, the religious figure is established as a founder and head of a new lineage and… he competently manages his ‘girls of
marriageable age’ socially and biologically with authority, by a skilful composition of traditional rules of alliance together with the forms of marriage authorised by the church. With age and
experience, by becoming a true ‘big man’, the pastor finds himself at the centre of a vast network of relationships of people living under his care or having solicited an alliance with girls of his
church. 2003:98–99, translation mine, cf. page 110
From what I have observed, this phenomenon is not yet as developed among the Assemblies of God of Benin as compared with Burkina Faso. I have not heard talk of the pastor becoming the founder and
head of a new lineage, for example. Despite this, the Beninese pastors both from the Assemblies of God and other denominations in the Commune of Cobly demonstrate a deep level of concern towards their
parish members. The type of family responsibility the pastors take on usually only becomes apparent to those who have a close relationship with the pastors. This is often the case with Protestant communities
where their members have rejected their customs, and sometimes even their “pagan” families. Often they find a similar structure to the one they have left behind in their new Christian community.
Despite the changes that Bebelibe society is undergoing and regardless of what type of marriage or alliance a person enters into, one can always seek refuge with, or the help of, one’s maternal uncles in
times of trouble. This still holds strong in today’s society, as Elisabeth’s story see 6.2.1 below illustrates.
Another issue that is linked to the topic of marriage is the question of inheritance and levirate. I turn to these topics next.
5 Levirate, inheritance and succession
