Hazel’s attempts in minimizing the casualties of her death

48 “I am not a bunny, and I am not in love with Gus Waters or anyone,” I answered, way too defensively. Wounded. Like Caroline Mathers had been a bomb and when she blew up everyone around her was left with embedded shrapnel. Green, 2012:6 At first, she did not want to be close with Augustus or anyone. For her, Augustus just a boy she met in the Cancer Support Group and she did not mean to be close to him or anything. She realizes that Augustus were cured and she did not want to be near with him. She did not want to be a bomb or a grenade who blew up and hurt anyone around her. She put away her feelings so she won’t be hurt, anyone. When she’s been closer to Augustus she cannot deny her feelings anymore. “I’m not going on dates,” I said. “I don’t want to go on dates with anyone. It’s a terrible idea and a huge waste of time and—” Green, 2012:6 Being a cancer survivor, which affects physical abilities and appearances makes Hazel vulnerable teenage girl as her esteem in very low level. She did not confident enough, even to speak in the front of people in her Support Group. His esteem gradually improving as she interacts with new people, such Augustus and Isaac. Hazel realizes there are many people like her, cancer survivors who live their life to the fullest every single day. She’s amazed at Augustus confidence about how he sees the world and feels sorry about what she thinks of her whole life. Although her life wasnt normal enough compared to healthy people, she wants to be powerful in facing all her problems. 49 “A college girl,” he said, nodding. “That explains the aura of sophistication.” He smirked at me. I shoved his upper arm playfully. I could feel the muscle right beneath the skin, all tense and amazing. Green, 2012:2 In her first meeting with Augustus, he compliments about her education. The compliments directly improve her confidence, as she taking college when Augustus dropped out from high school. This conversation implies her feelings to Augustus, as they getting closer and tries to trust him. I knew why he hadn’t said anything, of course: the same reason I hadn’t wanted him to see me in the ICU. I couldn’t be mad at him for even a moment, and only now that I loved a grenade did I understand the foolishness of trying to save others from my own impending fragmentation: I couldn’t un-love Augustus Waters. And I didn’t want to. Green, 2012:13 After Augustus sent to ICU, Hazel realizes that she cannot deny her feelings to him. It is a matter of choice, to be close to him or leave him as she should be. She is thinking about leaving him, but she cannot. This might be a problem for her, but every living creature must face their problems as problems is the part of life. It can be said that without problems, no one can develop themselves to be a better person. Hazel’s problem successfully develops her personality. From the one who tries to avoid any kind of relationship, to be a girl who in love with Augustus. She can manage her personality developments in the right way. In the beginning of the story she keeps thinking that she was depressed about her physical condition before she met other cancer survivors. 50 I helped him to stand and then offered my arm to Isaac, Building him past furniture that suddenly seemed intrusive, realizing that, for the first time in years, I was the healthiest person in the room. Green, 2012:14 When she was visiting Isaac, she guides him to walk in his own house. As Isaac is blind he cannot see anything so every furniture is blocking his way. Hazel feels that she was the healthiest person in the room and glad that she can live until the day. I sped up Ditch Road past flashing yellow lights, going too fast partly to reach him and partly in the hopes a cop would pull me over and give me an excuse to tell someone that my dying boyfriend was stuck outside of a gas station with a malfunctioning G-tube . But no cop showed up to make my decision for me. Green, 2012:18 When Augustus got stuck in a gas station, Hazel tries to help him as fast as possible. She did not mind the risk of speeding and may be pulled over by a cop. She cannot deny that she is worried about him and she is afraid of what happens if she is late. After Augustus died, she realizes that no one’s been responsible for her loss and she must live her life until the day ends. “My name is Hazel. Augustus Waters was the great star-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story, and I won’t be able to get more than a sentence into it without disappearing into a puddle of tears. Gus knew. Gus knows. I will not tell you our love story, because —like all real love stories—it will die with us, as it should . I’d hoped that he’d be eulogizing me, because there’s no one I’d rather have . . . . . . “Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I’m likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.”