Hazel’s striving in knowing the ending of An Imperial Affliction

44 dizzy, and she cannot stand too long without sitting or leaning on some objects. She realizes that her physical needs are vary than the others. Physical needs are the starting point of every other need, where the homeostasis process is starting from Maslow, 1943:50. Homeostasis is the process of bodys automatic efforts to maintain a constant, normal state of the blood stream to provide a normal state of healthy condition. In simple, it is the foundation of the living creature, where they can live and do other things in their life. I’d taken a seat on the corner of his unmade bed. I wasn’t trying to be suggestive or anything; I just got kind of tired when I had to stand a lot. I’d stood in the living room and then there had been the stairs, and then more standing, which was quite a lot of standing for me, and I didn’t want to faint or anything. I was a bit of a Victorian Lady, fainting-wise. Green, 2012:2 Even she had a faintness feeling which makes her uncomfortable, she still tries to hide it so people won’t know about it. In her everyday life, she tries to evade too much activity, to avoid her health deteriorates . Hazel’s health condition is going better after she had the Phalanxifor, the drugs that doctors gave her to medicate her lungs. After the medication, her health appears stable for a while although she had some occurrences. The uncertainty of her health condition places her in a difficult situation, which affects her upper stage of needs. Life experiences or physical deficiency may cause an individual to fluctuate between levels of the hierarchy. “Do you think you guys will stay together if I die?” I asked. “I just don’t want to ruin your life or anything.” 45 Green, 2012:24 In the front of her mother, she said that she did not want to show her feelings about her condition. Her parents were too precious to her, so she won’t place them as the second behind Augustus. Beside all bad things she did to her parents, she keeps trying to do the best for them. The part when she asks her parents if they will stay together even if she died, shows her compassionate love for them. She cannot deny that her parent’s happiness is more important than hers and she did not want to ruin it. Hazel needs to keep her body physically stable in order to make her parents happy. T hat’s why she keep her health in stable condition because it is what her parent wants.

3. Hazel’s attempts in minimizing the casualties of her death

Hazel lives with the only daughter of her small family who loves her so much. In their economic position, her parents barely handle the cost of her medication, although they can work it out. With full support from her parents, she feels safe to live her life. She doesnt let her parents know her feelings about her illness, although her parents knew about it. As she stated in the beginning of the story when she tries to avoid being too close with her parents; “I want to minimize the number of deaths I am responsible for,” I said. Green, 2012:2 46 She tries to avoid her parents as she believes that she’s will leave a scar in her parent’s life. She did not want to hurt other people and she tries to minimize the casualties of her death in the future. She frequently compares herself as a grenade, which will blow up and hurt people around her. “I’m a grenade,” I said again. “I just want to stay away from people and read books and think and be with you guys because there’s nothing I can do about hurting you; you’re too invested, so just please let me do that, okay? I’m not depressed. I don’t need to get out more. And I can’t be a regular teenager because I’m a grenade.” Green, 2012:6 Hazel feels that her parents doing so much for her and she cannot repay them with anything. she did not want to leave them to suffer when she dies, as she calls it “too precious” and she wants them to be happy whatever happens in the future. Her condition is temporarily stable and she realizes that it won’t last forever. In the other hand, when Augustus diagnosed that his cancer back and spread everywhere, Hazel feels that shes previously experienced it and she feels thankful that she can pass through it. “I know,” I said, although I didn’t, not really. I’d never been anything but terminal; all my treatment had been in pursuit of extending my life, not curing my cancer. Phalanx for had introduced a measure of ambiguity to my cancer story, but I was different from Augustus: My final chapter was written upon diagnosis. Gus, like most cancer survivors, lived with uncertainty. Green, 2012:11 In the quotation above, she explains how she can go through all of her medication when Phalanxifor saved her life until the present time. On the other side,