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The conference was successful. We were there to discuss best practice and the other delegates seemed interested in what I had to say. That trip
confirmed to me the fact that although in scale Karma Nirvana might still be a small local project, its reach and influence had spread way beyond
Derby. As the year wore on more and more of my time was spent travelling Sanghera 115-116.
7. Changing Her ‘Daughters’’ Life and Hope
One of the goal of her action was the freedom of every women who had been trapped in forced marriage. She had helped many women and the most
wonderful thing was when one of the sur vivors called her „Mother‟. Jasvinder was
recognized as her mother because Jasvinder could gave her the protection she needed. When Jasvinder and Shazia made a meal together, Shazia started calling
her “Mother”. „What about this melon? Do you think it‟s ripe?
„I‟m going to get a handful of these and look – shall we share this garlic?” „ I need some chillies, how many should I get, Mother?‟ This from
Shazia. I can‟t remember when she started calling me „Mother‟, but it‟s stuck and she has to concentrate on remembering to call me Jas at
conferences Sanghera 174
One of the survivors called Surjit had grown from frightened and traumatic memories. She could change into an independent and optimistic woman.
She had rebuilt her new life. After she escaped from her home, she plucked up her courage to phone her mother. Her mother said
that she was dead in her family‟s eyes and they wanted to have nothing to do with her. Her family had told
everyone that she had died. But in fact, she moved to a new city. But whereas Maya
– with almost two decades of abuse and isolation behind her
– needed a great deal of support in her recovery, I was amazed by how quickly Surjit grew from a frightened, if resourceful girl into an
independent, optimistic woman. Some time after her escape she plucked up the courage to phone her mother and was told, You are dead in our eyes
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and we want nothing to do with you.‟ In fact her family had moved to a new city to escape the dishonour she had brought on them, and in their
new life they told everyone that she had died. Sanghera 241 After having
dinner in Turkish restaurant, Jasvinder and her „daughters‟ gathered together in Yasmin‟s flat. They laughed, talked, gossiped, giggled and
lolled like they never did before. When they were trapped in the unwanted marriage, they could do like that. At that time, they could enjoy their freedom.
Jasvinder became the „mother‟ of her „daughters‟. They really felt that they were family.
The four of us laughed and talked and talked and laughed until we cried. We were high on intimacy if you like; I don‟t know when I last felt so
close to other people. Memories of that evening still warm my heart. The atmosphere betwee
n us was something that I‟d not experienced before. We all felt the link between us, there was no need to explain things: we‟d all
suffered at the hands of our families and we‟d survived Sanghera 255. Tony Hutchinson‟s dream and hope of being a helpline became a reality.
Jasvinder and Anna were invited to go to Cleveland. They had to take part in the training programme which ranged from how to log calls properly and to be active
listening. They shared the experiences of Karma Nirvana‟s victims. After that, they had to speak at a seminar which was attended by more than three hundred
people. The speaker included the Solicitor General, Vera Baird, Nazir Afzal, Hannah Buckley and the policy advisor to the Forced marriage Unit, Tony
Hutchinson and Jasvinder. By working together they could make a difference. The result of the seminar was
“There is a help and there is a hope. Forced marriage is wrong” Sanghera 268
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8. Inviting Others to Continue Her Actions in Fighting Forced Marriage
Shazia was Jasvinder‟s first daughter in Karma Nirvana. Actually Jasvinder had only two biological daughters
and she admitted Shazia as her „third daughter‟. She continued Jasvinder‟s struggles to fight forced marriage. She
regularly addresses large audiences accross the country and she became Jasvinder‟s representative. She exposed the cruelty and injustice of women who
had been the victim of forced marriage. The thing is Jasvinder, I want to make something of myself. It‟s all I think
about. I‟ve given up everything and I don‟t want that to have been nothing. I‟d like to help people – like you do.„You will,‟ I said. And it wasn‟t just
words, it wasn‟t empty reassurance. Iknew from the start that Shazia could put her experience to good use. Sanghera 37
