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The sentence “Kau terlompat dari ranjang, lari ke tingkap yang masih mengandung kabut, dan kau lihat di sana, bahwa antara cemara bersih hijau dan kali gunung bersih hijau
mengembang juga tanya dulu, tanya lama, tanya” that is translated become “You jump out of
bed, run to the tiny window still stuffed with fog and there you see between the bright green fir trees and the bright green mountain stream the old question still growing, blooming, the old, old
question, the question” in line 22-30 is concerned inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson 1984 argued the responsibility of the translator is to attach to the original message and
not to add additional information to the total message and accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the
most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language. Regarding in the word “tiny” and the phrase “the old question still growing” are added which is non-
existent in the original. Then, there is additional information to the total message therefore the translation can be considered as inaccurate translation.
A year note “1984” in line 31 is inaccurate because refers to Larson’s theory 1984 stated that in a good translation incomplete, extraneous, or different information must be
avoided. Thus this year note has not translated by the translator so it is inaccurate translation.
4.2.4.3 Naturalness in “Puncak” Table 4.17 : Naturalness in “Puncak”
LINE SOURCE LANGUAGE
TARGET LANGUAGE
1 PUNCAK
ON TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN 2
Pondering, pondering on you, dear…
Pondering,pondering on you. Dear 3
Minggu pagi di sini. It is Sunday morning, here
8-9 kita berbaring bulat telanjang
Sehabis apa terucap di kelam tadi, we’re lying in bed naked,
After what we said before, in the darkness,
9-11 kita habis kata sekarang.
we’re out of words, now.
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12 Berada 2000 m. jauh dari muka
laut, Because we’re 6.000 feet away from
the sea, 17-21 Maka cintaku sayang, kucoba
menjabat tanganmu mendekap wajahmu yang asing, meraih
bibirmu di balik rupa. So my love, my darling, i try to cling
to your hand To hug your unknown face, to find your relucant lips.
22-30 Kau terlompat dari ranjang, lari ke tingkap yang masih mengandung
kabut, dan kau lihat di sana, bahwa antara cemara bersih hijau dan kali
gunung bersih hijau mengembang juga tanya dulu, tanya lama, tanya.
You jump out of bed, run to the tiny window still stuffed with fog and there
you see between the bright green fir trees and the bright green mountain
stream the old question still growing, blooming, the old, old question, the
question.
The word “PUNCAK” that is translated become “ON TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN” in line 1 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the theory of Beekman and
Callow 1986 stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce
something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it is natural. The phrase “Pondering, pondering on you, dear” that is translated become “Pondering,
pondering on you, dear” in line 2 is natural, actually the poet has borrowed English language, that is why the translation of this phrase same, however this kind of translation is natural.
The phrase “Minggu pagi di sini” that is translated become “It is Sunday morning, here” in line 3 is idiomatic translation because based on the theory of Beekman and Callow 1986
argued idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the meaning of the original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In this kind of translation the focus is on
the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the receptor language, therefore it is natural. The sentence “Kita berbaring bulat telanjang sehabis apa terucap di kelam tadi” that is
translated become “We’re lying in bed naked, after what we said before, in the darkness” in line
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8-9 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical
or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it is natural.
The sentence “Kita habis kata sekarang” that is translated become “ We’re out of words, now” in line 9-11 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the theory of
Beekman and Callow 1986 stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from
literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it is natural. The sentence “Berada 2000 m. jauh dari muka laut” that is translated become “Because
we’re 6.000 feet away from the sea” in line 12 is idiomatic translation because based on the theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 argued idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the
meaning of the original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In this kind of translation the focus is on the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the
receptor language, therefore it is natural. The sentence “Maka cintaku sayang, kucoba menjabat tanganmu mendekap wajahmu
yang asing, meraih bibirmu di balik rupa” that is translated become “So my love, my darling, i try to cling to your hand To hug your unknown face, to find your relucant lips” in line 17-21 is
concerned modified literal translation because regarded the theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical
or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it is natural.
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The sentence “Kau terlompat dari ranjang, lari ke tingkap yang masih mengandung kabut, dan kau lihat di sana, bahwa antara cemara bersih hijau dan kali gunung bersih hijau
mengembang juga tanya dulu, tanya lama, tanya” that is translated become “You jump out of bed, run to the tiny window still stuffed with fog and there you see between the bright green fir
trees and the bright green mountain stream the old question still growing, blooming, the old, old question, the question” in line 22-30 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded
the theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from
literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it is natural.
4.2.4.4 Unnaturalness in “Puncak” Table 4.18 : Unnaturalness in “Puncak”
