63
The sentence “Maka cintaku sayang, kucoba menjabat tanganmu mendekap wajahmu yang asing, meraih bibirmu di balik rupa” that is translated become “So my love,my darling, i
try to cling to your hand to hug your unknown face, to find your relucant lips” in line 17-21 is concerned accurate because based on the theory of Larson 1984 argued that the translator, as he
contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original text as well as to the structure of the receptor language.
4.2.4.2 Inaccuracy in “Puncak” Table 4.16 : Inaccuracy in “Puncak”
LINE SOURCE LANGUAGE
TARGET LANGUAGE 3-8
Kederasan ramai kota yang terbawa tambah penjoal dalam diri
– diputar atau memutar –terasa tertekan;
the exitement of the pushing, crowded city, heaping problems Onto problems
–whether spinning or spun— Feels quieter, calmer,
12-14 Silang siur pelabuhan, From the crossing and criss-crossing of
the harbor,
15-16 Jadi terserah pada perbandingan
dengan cemara bersih hijau, kali yang
bersih hijau
That world down there seems to be nothing at all
compared To the bright green fir trees, the bright
green river. 22-30 Kau terlompat dari ranjang, lari ke
tingkap yang masih mengandung kabut, dan kau lihat di sana, bahwa
antara cemara bersih hijau dan kali gunung bersih hijau mengembang
juga tanya dulu, tanya lama, tanya.
You jump out of bed, run to the tiny window still stuffed with fog and there
you see between the bright green fir trees and the bright green mountain
stream the old question still growing, blooming, the old, old question, the
question.
31 1948
-
The sentence “Kederasan ramai kota yang terbawa tambah penjoal dalam diri – diputar
atau memutar –terasa tertekan ” that is translated become “The exitement of the pushing, crowded city, heaping problems Onto problems –whether spinning or spun— Feels quieter,
64
calmer ” in line 3-8 is inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson 1984 argued accuracy
forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the
source language. Both words “quieter” and “calmer” which is used as equivalence for the word “tertekan” which conveys a different meaning. “quieter” and “calmer” means peaceful time or
situation, while “tertekan” refers to oppressed thus this sentences is translated inaccurately. In my opinion, the translation of this sentence should be “The hardness of crowded city that heaps
sellers in themselves – spinning or spun feels oppressed.”
The phrase “Silang siur pelabuhan” that is translated become “From the crossing and
criss-crossing of the harbor” in line 12-14 is inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson 1984 stated that in a good translation incomplete, extraneous, or different information must be
avoided. The translator seems that he has not translated the word “siur”, so it is incomplete translation. In my opinion the translation of this phrase should be “ The criss-crossing rustle of
the harbor.” The
sentence “Jadi terserah pada
perbandingan dengan
cemara bersih hijau, kali yang bersih hijau” that is translated become “ That world down there seems to be nothing at all
compared to the bright green fir trees, the bright green river” in line 15-16 is inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson 1984 argued that accuracy forces the
translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the
source language. “Jadi terserah pada” which is used as equivalence for the phrase “That world down there seems to be nothing at all” conveys a different meaning, that is why this translation is
inaccurately rendered.
65
The sentence “Kau terlompat dari ranjang, lari ke tingkap yang masih mengandung kabut, dan kau lihat di sana, bahwa antara cemara bersih hijau dan kali gunung bersih hijau
mengembang juga tanya dulu, tanya lama, tanya” that is translated become “You jump out of
bed, run to the tiny window still stuffed with fog and there you see between the bright green fir trees and the bright green mountain stream the old question still growing, blooming, the old, old
question, the question” in line 22-30 is concerned inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson 1984 argued the responsibility of the translator is to attach to the original message and
not to add additional information to the total message and accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the
most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language. Regarding in the word “tiny” and the phrase “the old question still growing” are added which is non-
existent in the original. Then, there is additional information to the total message therefore the translation can be considered as inaccurate translation.
A year note “1984” in line 31 is inaccurate because refers to Larson’s theory 1984 stated that in a good translation incomplete, extraneous, or different information must be
avoided. Thus this year note has not translated by the translator so it is inaccurate translation.
4.2.4.3 Naturalness in “Puncak” Table 4.17 : Naturalness in “Puncak”
