Poem 3 : “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” .1 Accuracy in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu”
49
unnaturalness because refers to Beekman and Callow 1985 argued the unduly free translation is on the extreme side of the highly literal one. The purpose of the unduly free translation is to
make the message as relevant and clear as possible. In this kind of translation there are no distortions of the message arising from literalisms, though there are alterations of content, where
the translation does not express what the original says or implies. Thephrase “Buah pandan ganjil” that is translated become “No add patches of fragrant
pine” in line 20-21 is the unduly free translation which causes unnaturalness because refers to Beekman and Callow 1985 argued the unduly free translation is on the extreme side of the
highly literal one. The purpose of the unduly free translation is to make the message as relevant and clear as possible. In this kind of translation there are no distortions of the message arising
from literalisms, though there are alterations of content, where the translation does not express what the original says or implies.
4.2.3 Poem 3 : “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” 4.2.3.1 Accuracy in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu”
Table : 4.11 Accuracy in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” LINE
SOURCE LANGUAGE TARGET LANGUAGE
1
BIAR MALAM KINI LALU LET THIS EVENING GO BY
3 Tapi mimpi masih ganggu
Yet the dream still chafes, 5
Tinggi seperti gua dan sebisu High as a cave and mute,
6 Stasion achir yang dingin
The last cold station 7
Dimalam itu banyak berjejer siur katil-katil
In that night lined with criss-crossed beds.
8-9 Kita terbaring dalam sebuah
Yang paling jauh terpencil, We lie on the one
Set furthest apart. 10
Bisikan kita tidak patju waktu Our whispers don’t push at time.
11-12 Kita bertjiuman, aku gembira Atas segala tingkahmu,
We kiss, i’s delighted With everything you do ,
14-16 Dengan mata berisi dendam Dan tangan lesu jatuh
Are watching from their beds With hate in their eyes
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Melihat dari randjang. And slack, exhausted hands
18 Kecemasan berlimpah sesal
The uneasiness flooded with regret 19
Yang dijadikan aku korban That turns me sacrificial
24-25 dan penuh sedih merasa aku orang ketiga dan lantas
djalan And, full of sandess, feeling
The odd man out, i quickly leave.
The sentence “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” that is translated become “LET THIS EVENING GO BY” in line 1 is accurate because refers to Larson’s theory 1984 argued the translator, as he
contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original poem as well as to the structure of the receptor language.
The sentence “Tapi mimpi masih ganggu” that is translated become “Yet the dream still chafes” in line 3 is accurate because based on the theory of Larson 1984 argued accuracy
forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the
source language. The phrase “Tinggi seperti gua, dan sebisu” that is translated become “High as cave as
and mute” in line 5 is accurate because refers to Larson’s theory 1984 argued the translator, as he contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original poem as well as to the structure of
the receptor language. The phrase “Stasion achir yang dingin” that is translated become “ The last cold station”
in line 6 is accurate because regarding Larson’s theory 1984 stated that a translator is dealing with concepts in the structures of both languages.
The phrase “Dimalam itu banyak berjejer siur katil-katil” that is translated become “ In that night lined with criss-crossed beds” in line 7 is accurate because based on the theory of
Larson 1984 argued accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices
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in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language.
The sentence “Kita terbaring dalam sebuah yang paling jauh terpencil” that is translated become “We lie on the one set furthest apart”. in line 8-9 is accurate because based
on the theory of Larson 1984 argued accuracy in representing the meaning of the original poem and using natural idiomatic expressions in the receptor language are the primary goals of the
translator. The sentence “Bisikan kita tidak patju waktu” that is translated become “Our wishpers
don’t pust at time” in line 10 is accurate because regarding Larson’s theory 1984 stated that a translator is dealing with concepts in the structures of both languages.
The sentence “Kita bertjiuman, aku gembira atas segala tingkahmu” that is translated become “We kiss, i’s delighted with everything you do” in line 11-12 is accurate because refers
to Larson’s theory 1984 argued the translator, as he contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original poem as well as to the structure of the receptor language.
The sentence “Dengan mata berisi dendam dan tangan lesu jatuh melihat dari randjang” that is translated become “Are watching from their beds with hate in their eyes and slack,
azhausted hands” in line 14-16 is accurate because regarding Larson’s theory 1984 stated that a translator is dealing with concepts in the structures of both languages.
The phrase “Kecemasan berlimpah sesal” that is translated become “The uneasiness flooded with regret” in line 18 is concerned accurate because based on the theory of Larson
1984 argued the responsibility of the translator is to attach to the original message and not to add additional information to the total message.
52
The sentence “Yang dijadikan aku korban” that is translated become “That turns me sacrificial” in line 19 is accurate because refers to Larson’s theory 1984 argued the translator,
as he contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original poem as well as to the structure of the receptor language. And the sentence “Dan penuh sedih merasa aku orang ketiga dan
lantas djalan” that is translated become “And, full of sandess, feeling the odd man out, i quickly leave” in line 24-25 is accurate because regarding Larson’s theory 1984 stated that a translator
is dealing with concepts in the structures of both languages.
4.2.3.2 Inaccuracy in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” Table 4.12 : Inaccuracy in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu”
LINE SOURCE LANGUAGE
TARGET LANGUAGE
2 Biar malam kini lalu,
Let this evening go by, now.
3 Tjinta,
My love-
4 Yang bawa kita bersama sekamar
The dream that brought us together
here in this room
13 Sungguh
yang lain disisiku Even though
the other alongside me 17
Apakah dosa, apakah salah Where’s the sin, why the blame,
20 Kau lantas lakukan dengan tidak
sangsi When quickly,
not hesitating, you manage
21 Apa yang tidak bakal kau setuju ?
What i’d never meant to agree to ? 22-23 Dengan lembut kau teriakkan
kau sudah terima orang lain
Softly you tell me You’ve taken someone else
Regarding the sentence “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” that is translated become “Let this
evening go by, now” in line 2 is inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson 1984 argued
the responsibility of the translator is to attach to the original message and not to add additional information to the total message. Comparing the translation with the original shows that there is
additional information to the total message therefore the translation can be considered as
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inaccurate translation. Regarding in the word “now” as adverb of time is added which is non- existent in the original.
The the word “Tjinta” that is translated become “ My love” in line 3 is concerned
inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson 1984 argued the responsibility of the translator is to attach to the original message and not to add additional information to the total
message. Comparing the translation with the original shows that there is additional information to the total message therefore the translation can be considered as inaccurate translation.
Regarding in the possessive adjective ‘my” is added which is non- existent in the original.
The sentence “Yang bawa kita sekamar” that is translated become “The dream that
brought us together here in this room” in line 4 is concerned inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson 1984 argued the responsibility of the translator is to attach to the original
message and not to add additional information to the total message. Regarding in the phrase “The dream” is added which is non- existent in the original.
The prhase “Sungguh yang lain disisiku” that is translated become “Even though the
other alongside me” in line 13 is inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson 1984 argued accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the
language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language. “Even though” means walaupun while “Sungguh” refers to really,
thus it conveys a different meaning. The phrase “Apakah dosa, apakah salah ” that is translated become “Where is the sin,
why the blame” in line 17 is inaccurate based on the theory of Larson 1984 argued accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language
and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the
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source language. both words “where” and “why” which is used as equivalence for the word “Apakah” which conveys a different meaning. “Where” as question wordrefers to the place or
location and “why” is also as question word refers to make a question to ask the reason, while “apakah” refers to what, thus this sentences is translated inaccurately.
The sentence “Kau lantas lakukan dengan tidak sangsi” that is translated become “When quickly
, not hesitating you manage” in line 20 is inaccurate because refers to Larson’s theory 1984 argued the translator, as he contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original
poem as well as to the structure of the receptor language. Comparing the translation with the original shows that there is additional information to the total message therefore the translation
can be considered as inaccurate translation. Regarding in the phrase “when quickly” is added which is non- existent in the original. In my opinion, the translation of this sentence should be
“You manage to do without hesitating.”
The sentence “Apa yang tidak bakal kau setuju?” that is translated become “Whati’d
never meant to agree to” in line 21 is inaccurate because regarding Larson’s theory 1984 stated that a translator is dealing with concepts in the structures of both languages.The word “i” which
is used as equivalence for the word “kau” which conveys a different meaning. I as a subject means saya in bahasa, while “aku” refers to you thus this sentences is translated inaccurately.
The sentence “Dengan lembut kau teriakkan kau sudah terima orang lain” that is
translated become “Softly you tell me you’ve taken someone else” in line 22-23 is inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson 1984 argued accuracy forces the translator to assess a
range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language. The word
“tel”l which is used as equivalence for the word “teriakkan” which conveys a different
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meaning. “Tell” means give information, while “teriakkan” refers to shout thus this sentences is translated inaccurately.
4.2.3.3 Naturalness in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” Table 4.13 : Naturalness in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu”
LINE SOURCE LANGUAGE
TARGET LANGUAGE
1 BIAR MALAM KINI LALU
LET THIS EVENING GO BY 2
Biar malam kini lalu, Let this evening go by, now.
3 Tjinta,
My love- 4
Yang bawa kita bersama sekamar The dream that brought us together
here in this room 6
Stasion achir yang dingin The last cold station
7 Dimalam itu banyak berjejer siur
katil-katil In that night lined with criss-crossed
beds. 11-12 Kita bertjiuman, aku gembira
Atas segala tingkahmu, We kiss, i’s delighted
With everything you do , 14-16 Dengan mata berisi dendam
Dan tangan lesu jatuh Melihat dari randjang.
Are watching from their beds With hate in their eyes
And slack, exhausted hands
18 Kecemasan berlimpah sesal
The uneasiness flooded with regret 21
Apa yang tidak bakal kau setuju ? What i’d never meant to agree to ?
22-23 Dengan lembut kau teriakkan kau sudah terima orang lain
Softly you tell me You’ve taken someone else
24-25 Dan penuh sedih merasa aku orang ketiga dan lantas djalan
And, full of sandess, feeling The odd man out, i quickly leave.
The sentence “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” that was translated become “LET THIS EVENING GO BY” in line 1 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the theory of
Beekman and Callow 1986 stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from
literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it s natural. Regarding the sentence “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” that is translated become “ Let this
evening go by, now” in line 2 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the
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theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from
literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it is natural. The word “Tjinta” that is translated become “ My love” in line 3 is concerned modified
literal translation because regarded the theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical
adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it s natural.
The sentence “Yang bawa kita sekamar” that is translated become “The dream that brought us together here in this room ” in line 4 is idiomatic translation because based on the
theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 argued idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the meaning of the original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In
this kind of translation the focus is on the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the receptor language, therefore it s natural.
The phrase “Stasion achir yang dingin” that was translated become “ The last cold station” in line 6 is idiomatic translation because based on the theory of Beekman and Callow
1986 argued idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the meaning of the original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In this kind of translation the
focus is on the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the receptor language, therefore it is natural.
The phrase “Dimalam itu banyak berjejer siur katil-katil” that was translated become “ In that night lined with criss-crossed beds” in line 7 is idiomatic translation because based on the
theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 argued idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the
57
meaning of the original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In this kind of translation the focus is on the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the
receptor language, therefore it s natural. The sentence “Kita bertjiuman, aku gembira atas segala tingkahmu” that is translated
become “We kiss, i’s delighted with everything you do” in line 11-12 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 stated that the
modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something which is
equivalent to the original, therefore it s natural. The sentence “Dengan mata berisi dendam dan tangan lesu jatuh melihat dari randjang”
that was translated become “Are watching from their beds with hate in their eyes and slack, axhausted hands” in line 14-16 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the
theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from
literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it s natural. The phrase “Kecemasan berlimpah sesal” that was translated become “The uneasiness
flooded with regret” in line 18 is idiomatic translation because based on the theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 argued idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the meaning of the
original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In this kind of translation the focus is on the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the receptor language,
therefore it is natural.
The sentence “Apa yang tidak bakal kau setuju?” that is translated become “Whati’d
never meant to agree to” in line 21 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the
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theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from
literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it is natural.
The sentence “Dengan lembut kau teriakkan kau sudah terima orang lain” that is
translated become “Softly you tell me you’ve taken someone else” in line 22-23 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 stated
that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something
which is equivalent to the original, therefore it is natural. The sentence “Dan penuh sedih merasa aku orang ketiga dan lantas djalan” that was
translated become “And, full of sandess, feeling the odd man out, i quickly leave” in line 24-25 is idiomatic translation because based on the theory of Beekman and Callow 1986 argue, an
idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the meaning of the original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In this kind of translation the focus is on the
meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the receptor language.
4.2.3.4 Unnaturalness in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” Table 4.14 : Unnaturalness in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu”
LINE SOURCE LANGUAGE
TARGET LANGUAGE
3 Tapi mimpi masih ganggu
yet the dream still chafes, 5
Tinggi seperti gua dan sebisu High as a cave and mute,
8-9 Kita terbaring dalam sebuah
Yang paling jauh terpencil, We lie on the one
Set furthest apart. 10
Bisikan kita tidak patju waktu Our whispers don’t push at time.
13 Sungguh yang lain disisiku
Even though the other alongside me 17
Apakah dosa, apakah salah Where’s the sin, why the blame,
19 Yang dijadikan aku korban
That turns me sacrificial 20
kau lantas lakukan dengan tidak When quickly, not hesitating, you
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sangsi manage
Then, the sentence “Tapi mimpi masih ganggu” that is translated become “Yet the dream still chafes” in line 3 is the highly literal translation, as Beekman and Callow 1989 argued the
obligatory grammatical rules of the receptor language are set aside and the translation follows the order of the original word for word and with high consistency which mostly results in ambiguity,
awkwardness, and unnaturalness. The phrase “Tinggi seperti gua, dan sebisu” that was translated become “High as cave
as and mute” in line 5 is the highly literal translation, as Beekman and Callow 1989 argued the obligatory grammatical rules of the receptor language are set aside and the translation follows the
order of the original word for word and with high consistency which mostly results in ambiguity, awkwardness, and unnaturalness.
The sentence “Kita terbaring dalam sebuah yang paling jauh terpencil” that was translated become “We lie on the one set furthest apart” in line 8-9 is the highly literal
translation, as Beekman and Callow 1989 argued the obligatory grammatical rules of the receptor language are set aside and the translation follows the order of the original word for word
and with high consistency which mostly results in ambiguity, awkwardness, and unnaturalness. The sentence “Bisikan kita tidak patju waktu” that was translated become “Our wishpers
don’t pust at time” in line 10 is the unduly free translation which causes unnaturalness because refers to Beekman and Callow 1985 argued the unduly free translation is on the extreme side of
the highly literal one. The purpose of the unduly free translation is to make the message as relevant and clear as possible. In this kind of translation there are no distortions of the message
arising from literalisms, though there are alterations of content, where the translation does not express what the original says or implies.
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The prhase “Sungguh yang lain disisiku” that was translated become “Even though the other alongside me” in line 13 is the unduly free translation which causes unnaturalness because
refers to Beekman and Callow 1985 argued the unduly free translation is on the extreme side of the highly literal one. The purpose of the unduly free translation is to make the message as
relevant and clear as possible. In this kind of translation there are no distortions of the message arising from literalisms, though there are alterations of content, where the translation does not
express what the original says or implies. The phrase “Apakah dosa, apakah salah ” that is translated become “Where is the sin,
why the blame” in line 17 is the unduly free translation which causes unnaturalness because refers to Beekman and Callow 1985 argued the unduly free translation is on the extreme side of
the highly literal one. The purpose of the unduly free translation is to make the message as relevant and clear as possible. In this kind of translation there are no distortions of the message
arising from literalisms, though there are alterations of content, where the translation does not express what the original says or implies.
The sentence “Yang dijadikan aku korban” that was translated become “That turns me sacrificial” in line 19 is the highly literal translation, as Beekman and Callow 1989 argued the
obligatory grammatical rules of the receptor language are set aside and the translation follows the order of the original word for word and with high consistency which mostly results in ambiguity,
awkwardness, and unnaturalness.
The sentence “Kau lantas lakukan dengan tidak sangsi” that is translated become “When quickly
, not hesitating you manage” in line 20 is the unduly free translation which causes unnaturalness because refers to Beekman and Callow 1985 argued the unduly free translation
is on the extreme side of the highly literal one. The purpose of the unduly free translation is to
61
make the message as relevant and clear as possible. In this kind of translation there are no distortions of the message arising from literalisms, though there are alterations of content, where
the translation does not express what the original says or implies.
4.2.4 Poem 4 : “Puncak” 4.2.4.1 Accuracy in “Puncak”