28 Ed absolutely does not agree with religion. He does not want to solve his
problems by using religion as the base. In daily life, he has no doubts about admitting that he does not have any religion. It is shown when he has to fill in the
job registration form, which Dora gives him. In the job registration form, he writes that he does not have any religion. It surprises Dora because she thinks that
Ed is a Buddhist since he is Geoff’s friend.
d. Pessimistic
Ed is a pessimistic person. It is seen from his thought and speech. At the time when Ed studied in college, he had a dream to be a bestselling author. He had
written some pages but he did not finish it. His dream to become a bestselling author does not come true because he is busy with his job and not sure that he will
be able to finish it. He believes that he cannot do anything to make his dream come true. Moreover, his conscience that he calls ‘My Evil Friend’ never supports
him. It always tells Ed that he does not have any talent to become a bestselling author.
‘Because you’re a failure,’ it said. ‘And you know it. Even this morning, when you went in to turn over a new leaf with Martin,
you knew it wouldn’t come to anything. Because nothing ever does. Like your writing. Ha-what a joke. The reason you can’t
write is that you haven’t got anything to say. You can’t meet your own needs, let alone anyone else’s. Genius might be one per cent
inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration, but you haven’t even got that one per cent. Face it: you’re so ordinary, so average,
that all you can expect. All you actually deserve, is an ordinary, average life. Dull? Yes-but that’s reality. 55
29 His conscience makes everything worse when Ed is in a hard situation
where Angie, his girlfriend, left him and he does not have any money because he is out of a job. He becomes very pessimistic so that he loses his appetite to eat. He
tries to force himself to finish his writing but it makes his situation worse. ‘Couldn’t be arsed, hmm?’ Geoff said.
‘No, it’s not that. It’s just… you know.’ But it was that. I couldn’t be arsed to do anything. My opus had ground to a halt and so had
my life. All my Causes had produced nothing, and each list of daily determinations made me more dejected - because deep down I
didn’t believe I’d be able to make any of it happen. My reality was no job, no girlfriend, no money. And no prospects, either.
‘Sleeping a lot, are you?’ asked Geoff. I nodded.
‘Finding it hard to get up?’ I nodded again.
‘No appetite?’ I shook my head sadly. ‘For anything.’ I sighed. 95
He feels that he cannot continue his life since he cannot make the situation better. Instead of trying to change his life, he loses his spirit.
e. Self-absorbed
Ed is a self-absorbed person and he realizes it. He never cares about other people around him. It is seen through his thought and mannerism. Even though he
has a brother, he never speaks to him. One of the reasons that his girlfriend left him is because he did not give enough attention to her. He always thinks about
himself and cares about his happiness only. An awful truth had hit me. All I cared about was Angie and myself.
My parents were both dead. I had a brother I never spoke to - we drifted apart years ago. I had a few friends but we weren’t really
