26 get out of my head the picture of me standing in front of Martin’s desk and
stammering out what a bad boy I’d been but now I’d seen the error of my ways and wanted to turn over a new leaf… 36.”
Even though Ed is a rude person, he has the positive side. He always feels regret for what he has done and has the intention to make the situation better. He
feels sorry for being so rude to Martin and he wants to reconcile his relationship with him. Ed treats Geoff rudely once when he is hospitalized. In the hospital, he
dismisses Geoff who had been accompanying him when he fainted. I’d been too hard on him, I decided. I’d been irritable because my
head hurt and I felt foolish for falling over; and he’d come to the hospital to help me and-well, basically, I was a bad person. Selfish,
self-centered, self absorbed-all the things I’d listed as reasons why Angie had left. But, no good sitting here beating myself up. Use
the tongue that told him to bugger off to make friends again. I called his mobile. 108
Ed is too drunk that he falls and hits his head hard against the edge of the bar. Geoff, who is in the bar with Ed, tries to help Ed by taking him to the
hospital. Since he feels the headache and is ashamed because he has fallen in the bar, his emotional character rises up that he drives Geoff out of the hospital. Later
on, he feels guilty for treating Geoff so badly so that he calls Geoff to say sorry. Besides Martin and Geoff, Ed also does the same thing to Dora when she is trying
to explain about Buddhism principle to him. Instead of listening to Dora, he walks out on her. He does not want to listen to Dora’s explanation, but then he realizes
his rudeness. He comes back to her to offer her an apology.
27
c. Atheistic
Ed has grown up in a good and religious family. His family is a Christian family and is involved actively in the social activities. His mother is a member of
committees, which raise some fund to help the poor. I thought about my mum, who was always doing good, especially
when she retired. Sitting on committees, raising money for the local hospice, and Oxfam, visiting the old and the lonely. But she’d
been a Christian, part of the Church, which I couldn’t stand for its sanctimony and piety and disapproval of virtually everything I
rated, e.g. sex and drinking. I suppose I associated one with the other-religion and do-goodery-and somewhere, deep down,
rejected both. 147-148
Though he grows up in a good and religious family, he thinks that religion brings nothing good in life so that he does not believe in religion. It can be seen
through his thought and speech. He finds that religion is contrary to the things he is interested in; having sex and drink. Further, he thinks that religion is harmful. It
can destroy the world because people may kill other people in the name of religion.
I groaned. ’Religion.’ ‘Is that a problem?’
‘Too bloody right. I can’t stand religion.’ ‘Where have I heard that before?’ He smiled ruefully. ‘Well, some
people prefer to call Buddhism a life philosophy, if that helps.’ ‘Might do – if you can put it into practice without the religious bit.’
‘You can try.’ ‘All right, just tell me about that, then. Because I had enough
religion stuffed down my throat as a kid to put me off for life. Junk – all of it. And dangerous. I mean, look at the damage it’s done:
religious wars, massacres, persecution. So – no religion. Just practical, down-to-earth, hands-on, useful advice about how to get
my girlfriend back and things sorted at work. OK?’ 19
28 Ed absolutely does not agree with religion. He does not want to solve his
problems by using religion as the base. In daily life, he has no doubts about admitting that he does not have any religion. It is shown when he has to fill in the
job registration form, which Dora gives him. In the job registration form, he writes that he does not have any religion. It surprises Dora because she thinks that
Ed is a Buddhist since he is Geoff’s friend.
d. Pessimistic
Ed is a pessimistic person. It is seen from his thought and speech. At the time when Ed studied in college, he had a dream to be a bestselling author. He had
written some pages but he did not finish it. His dream to become a bestselling author does not come true because he is busy with his job and not sure that he will
be able to finish it. He believes that he cannot do anything to make his dream come true. Moreover, his conscience that he calls ‘My Evil Friend’ never supports
him. It always tells Ed that he does not have any talent to become a bestselling author.
‘Because you’re a failure,’ it said. ‘And you know it. Even this morning, when you went in to turn over a new leaf with Martin,
you knew it wouldn’t come to anything. Because nothing ever does. Like your writing. Ha-what a joke. The reason you can’t
write is that you haven’t got anything to say. You can’t meet your own needs, let alone anyone else’s. Genius might be one per cent
inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration, but you haven’t even got that one per cent. Face it: you’re so ordinary, so average,
that all you can expect. All you actually deserve, is an ordinary, average life. Dull? Yes-but that’s reality. 55
