50
50 home. When Norah invites her to go to France for a holiday, she says, “’And I’m
coming back home’” p. 505. Hebb also divides fear in sensory deficit category. It deals with an absence of customary stimulation which is familiarity and
adaptation to having others around as cited in Beck, 1978, p. 194. Phoebe is accustomed to be with Caroline and knows Caroline as her mother. She has not
been comfortable yet with the presence of Paul and Norah. However, Phoebe keeps holding enthusiastic conversation with Paul. Both of them tell their stories
about their daily activities, hobbies, interest, and family para. 495-498. It is related to the characteristic which is usually had by some individuals with Down
syndrome. As Buckley 2000 says that they are usually enjoying lively social life p. 5.
From the analysis above, it is concluded that David’s decision influences Phoebe psychologically. People say that Phoebe inherits Caroline temper. For
Phoebe, her mother is Caroline. She still considers Norah as stranger who offers house to visit and a vacation to France.
2. On the Members of David’s Family
a. On Himself
The first influence of David’s decision of taking his daughter with Down syndrome to an institution is telling a lie to his wife. After David asks Caroline, a
nurse in the hospital, he arranges the words to say to Norah. “That it was no one’s fault, that their daughter would be in good hands, with others like herself, with
ceaseless care. That it would be best this way for them all” p. 24-25. When the moment comes, he loses all the words he has prepared.
PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
51
51 “My darling,” he began. His voice broke, and the words he had rehearsed
so carefully were gone. He closed his eyes, and when he could speak again more words came, unplanned.
Oh, my love, “he said. “I am so sorry. Our little daughter died as she was born”. p. 25
One lie appears as he decides to send his daughter into institution. Actually, it is not his intention to tell a lie. He means to tell the truth but the words
just burst out as he opens his mouth. “’ I meant to tell her the truth. But when I opened my mouth, I couldn’t say it. At that moment, I thought I was saving her
pain’” p. 81-82. Since that moment, David’s life is full of secrets. Caroline who has moved to another town routinely writes letters for David to tell Phoebe’s
growth. David keeps the letters secretly out of Norah and Paul reach. The fact that Caroline never tells David where they live causes David to travel to town Caroline
may be living secretly para. 182. The secret is also about Rosemary, the pregnant girl whom he meets in his parents’ old house. The reason why David
asks Rosemary to stay in his house is that because Rosemary knows his secret. David tells Rosemary that he has a daughter with Down syndrome and he has
given her away. It is also because Rosemary reminds him of Phoebe. Rosemary can fill the absence of Phoebe in his life para. 395. David cannot tell his reason
to Norah because the reason is also the part of David’s big secret about Phoebe. David is haunted by his decision of taking his daughter away and his lie of
his daughter’s death. When he is alone in his office or in the darkroom, developing photos and watching images emerge on the sheets of paper, sometimes
he finds his heart pounded para. 150. A few months after the birth of the twins and the lie of his daughter’s death, he wakes from dreams of Caroline Gill. He
PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
52
52 finds himself trembling. He gets up and goes to the office or to the darkroom
para. 183. He is also suddenly stricken with guilt in some moments. In the middle of the surgery, in his driving to town or in his sleep suddenly the guilt of
the past comes in his mind. He sees back the night when he gives his daughter to Caroline. Over all his visible success as a doctor and a photographer, he finds
himself in a deepest guilt which strikes him every moment para. 247. It is not only feeling guilty. It seems a lot of feelings coming up in his
mind. It is also anger. He is angry at Norah. As some years passed, Norah does not want to forget their daughter. She often talks about Phoebe, her daughter. On
the other hand, David has to work very hard to forget the night when he gives Phoebe to Caroline and to handle the feeling of guilty because of it para. 349.
“Why did she have to stir things up again? Why couldn’t she let the past rest and move on?” p. 145. David is also angry at himself. He is angry for what he has
done in the past which has caused the situation worse instead of avoiding Norah from lost, grief and pain. His anger is at Caroline too. For David, Caroline makes
the situation worse by taking care Phoebe as her daughter instead of putting Phoebe into the institution he has commanded para. 156.
David is regretful for what he has done. He realizes that he makes a mistake when he gives his daughter to Caroline. He has caused Paul’s loneliness
without any siblings Paul has. He has caused a distant between him and Norah. In his silence, he wonders what their lives would be if he made a different decision
to his daughter para. 199. At that night, when he gives his daughter to Caroline,
PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
53
53 he does not have any idea that his decision will cause consequence to his family
p. 247. David tries to find a way to forget the night when he gives Phoebe. He
builds a darkroom since he has a camera. Norah gives him the camera for their anniversary gift. The darkroom is his favourite place to go. He likes being there in
the darkroom because it is cool, peaceful, and quiet. He spends his evening there to develop photos. He makes himself busy capturing images and developing them
in the darkroom. He captures Paul and Norah in every moment in which they may forget that moment. It is the place in which David sometimes watches Norah’s
images. He looks at her arms and the curve of the hips. He admires her. He feels a deep love for her para. 245. After David dies, Norah will find how David also
really misses their daughter through a lot of pictures he has captured. They are pictures of anonymous infants, girls, and young women arranged in their age.
They have the characteristics of distracted gaze on the world, wide-eyed, and questioning. Loss can be seen through the play of light and shadow. David’s
longing for their daughter para. 463-464. It is also about redemption. David redeems his mistake in the past by
working hard to make Norah happy. He permits Norah to take a job in a travel agency and achieve the highest level of her career. When Pete Warren, the owner
of the travel agency, decides to retire she buys the business. The travel agency is hers para. 222. Her days are getting busier which makes her come home late at
midnight. “He thought of Norah, who had become a self-sufficient and powerful
woman, who courted corporate accounts with glittery assurance and came
PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
54
54 in from dinners smelling of wine and rain, traces of laughter, triumph, and
success still on her face.” p. 327
David says nothing about Norah’s affair. Her affair with Howard happens in a family vacation in Aruba, a small island in the south side of Carribian Sea. The
affair becomes Norah’s secret. David believes that Norah’s secret is because of his secret about the daughter in the past. That is why he keeps silent about it para.
259. Even when Paul runs away out from window because he knows Norah’s affair, David blames himself. “’I blame myself,’ he said. ‘For everything’” p.
254. David also tries to forgive by forgetting the moment Norah and Howard laugh together in the vacation in Aruba. David captures that moment with his
camera. He erases that moment by darkening the photo of Norah and Howard. “Unfinished, unfixed, the image wouldn’t last. Over the next hours, light
would work on the exposed paper. The picture of Norah laughing with Howard would slowly darken until-within a day or two-it would be
completely black.” p. 260 It is not the only affair. David knows that Norah has more than one affair
in years p. 327. Norah keeps those affairs secretly. David knows those secret affairs, but he keeps them in his heart.
David’s decision of taking her daughter away gives influences to him. Those influences are concluded as follows. David tells a lie to his wife that their
daughter dies. The lie becomes a big secret that causes further secrets. Along his life David is haunted by the feeling of guilt, anger, and regret concerning the night
he gives the daughter away. He redeems his mistake in the past by letting Norah achieve the most successful career and keeping silent about Norah’s affairs.
PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
55
55
b. On Norah
