People who try not to show grief or who try to avoid thinking of the deceased person often take longer to recuperate from the loss. Crying and
unhappiness are normal grief reactions to show his emotion when someone feels lost of someone.
c. Coping Stress
Morris defines that they are two ways to cope with a stress. They are direct coping and defense coping 500-507. Direct coping is any action that we
take to change an uncomfortable situation. When our needs or desires are frustrated, we attempt to remove the obstacles between our goal and ourselves or
we give up. When we are threatened, frustrated, or in conflict, we have three basic choices for coping directly. They are confrontation, compromise, and withdrawal.
The first choice is confrontation in which we can meet a situation head- on and intensify our efforts to obtain what we want. It may require trying to
change either oneself or situation. Confrontation may also include expression of anger 500. The second is compromise in which we can give up some of what we
want and perhaps persuade others to give part of what they want. This is one of the effective ways of coping directly with conflict of frustration 501. The last
choice in ways of coping directly is withdrawal in which we can admit defeat and
stop fighting 501. We often equate withdrawal with simply refusing to face problem.
Defense coping as known as defense mechanism is formulated by Sigmund Freud in his psychoanalytic theory. As quoted by Kalish, defense
mechanism is the way in each individual to maintain and improve his self- concept, especially in the face of stress, utilizes certain types of behavior 155.
Pervin and John define that human develop defense mechanism as a way to distort reality and exclude feelings from awareness so that human beings do not feel
anxious 86. As quoted by Morris there are nine ways of defense mechanism. They are denial, repression, projection, identification, regression,
intellectualization, reaction formation, displacement, and sublimation 502-507. Denial is the refusal to acknowledge a painful or threatening reality. In
denial, we block out situation with which we can cope. Huffman states that denial is use to protect oneself from an unpleasant reality by refusing to perceive it
Huffman, 451. The other defense mechanism is repression. In repression, we block out unacceptable impulses or thoughts. As quoted by Kalish, repression
occurs when an individual is unable to recall or recognize something because of consciousness needs to deny the awareness 155.
Projection is the next defense mechanism. As quoted by Kalish, there are two types of projection occurs. First, is denying the thoughts and feelings and
attributing them to someone else; and second, is justifying the behavior by claiming that others feel the same way 157. There is other defense mechanism,
called identification. Pettijohn states that here, the person tries literally to become another’s personality by copying his behavior in every conditions experienced
425-431. Identification often used as a form of self-defense in situations where a person feels utterly helpless.
