theory of deprivation of love is beneficial to identify the effects of deprivation of love towards human behavior.
Hurlock states that many adults experience deprivation of love, especially in the old age and after the death or divorce of a spouse. Deprivation
can be almost as damaging to the self-concept in adulthood as in childhood. Deprivation of opportunities to love and to be loved delays the normal pattern of
physical and mental development. This, in turn affects the personality. Some of the specific effects of emotional deprivation have been reported to the physical,
social and emotional 211. Hurlock also states that the effects of deprivation to the human physical
can be seen in listlessness, emaciation, quietness, general apathy, and psychosomatic illnesses. To human social, the effect can be revealed in handicaps
in learning how to get along with people, lack of responsiveness to the advances of others, lack of cooperation, and hostility. And to the emotional deprivation, the
effects can be seen in lack of emotional responsiveness and interchange the emphatic complex, feelings of insecurity, resentments as expressed in social
behavior, restlessness, anxiety, temper tantrums, and many other forms of maladjustive behavior 212.
One of the most common long-term effects of deprivation of love on personality is emotional insecurity, a feeling of not belonging and of being unable
to count on the affection of significant people. The alienated person avoids social relationship outside the home because he has not found them satisfying in the
home. He feels inferior and incapable of loving and being loved, and he develops a generalized hostility toward people 213.
b. Death and Loss
According to Kalish 143, when death occurs, other causes of stress seem less important. This is true whether it is your own death or death of someone
close to you. Harvey defines that, in the context of loss, people often experience a sense of missing something very important, a sense of incompletion, on a feeling
of disappointment 2. Theory of death and loss is beneficial to identify the impacts of death and loss in human life towards others’ condition.
Kalish defines that when a death occurs, the social structure of the family, of the work setting, and of other situations is disrupted 145. Loss is very
painful for the survivors and the dying person often is more concerned about their emotional pain than about himself 146. Much disagreement centers around this
issue also, but many physicians and other believe that people’s attitudes about living and dying can make a difference in their resistance to illness 146.
As quoted by Kalish, Lindermann says that when a person lost of someone because of death, that person is sad because of the loss of friendship,
companionship, and love; but sadness is not the only way to respond to grieve. That person may find that the image of the dead person is constantly in your
mind’s eye and think of him, even when that person wishes to do other things 147.
People who try not to show grief or who try to avoid thinking of the deceased person often take longer to recuperate from the loss. Crying and
unhappiness are normal grief reactions to show his emotion when someone feels lost of someone.
c. Coping Stress
Morris defines that they are two ways to cope with a stress. They are direct coping and defense coping 500-507. Direct coping is any action that we
take to change an uncomfortable situation. When our needs or desires are frustrated, we attempt to remove the obstacles between our goal and ourselves or
we give up. When we are threatened, frustrated, or in conflict, we have three basic choices for coping directly. They are confrontation, compromise, and withdrawal.
The first choice is confrontation in which we can meet a situation head- on and intensify our efforts to obtain what we want. It may require trying to
change either oneself or situation. Confrontation may also include expression of anger 500. The second is compromise in which we can give up some of what we
want and perhaps persuade others to give part of what they want. This is one of the effective ways of coping directly with conflict of frustration 501. The last
choice in ways of coping directly is withdrawal in which we can admit defeat and
stop fighting 501. We often equate withdrawal with simply refusing to face problem.
Defense coping as known as defense mechanism is formulated by Sigmund Freud in his psychoanalytic theory. As quoted by Kalish, defense
