A Policeman Firdaus’ Experiences with Men

Probably, one of the causes is because the economic sector which change many times. The government holds some economic sectors. Additionally, Egypt remains a poor and developing country. It makes common people difficult to improve their own business. “And if I pressed a little more firmly than usual on the spoon as I took ghee out of the tin for cooking, he would scream out in anger, and draw my attention to the fact that its contents were diminishing much more rapidly than they should. … One day he discovered some leftover scraps of food, and started yelling at me so loudly that all the neighbours could hear. After this incident, he got into the habit of beating me whether he had a reason for it or not.” p. 46 Bayoumi, a man who looks so gentle in the beginning, treats her badly. When she asks him about the job she is looking for, he gets angry. Without any doubt, he hits her while he is saying abusive words. “…but he jumped up and slapped me on the face, saying, „How dare you raise your voice when you‟re speaking to me, you street walker, you low woman?” p. 52. He does not stop on it. He does it again harder than before. “His hand was big and strong, and it was the heaviest slap I had ever received on my face” p.52. Those experiences make her hate men more than before. In fact, she becomes revengeful. There is no man who can really protect a woman. A woman has no right and she cannot decide many things by herself. While a man, he can do many things as they like. He does not need to consider to his wife. A wife has many hard jobs to do, such as taking care the household, children, and husband. What a man can do is only having sex, hitting the wife, forcing others in order to get money, making use of the situation in order to get a wealthy life. There are five factors beyond the reason why men abuse women WMST- L, 1998. The first reason is that the abuser sees women as objects. He does not view women as people. He has no respect for women as a group. He sees women as property and sexual objects. Second, an abuser has low self-esteem. He feels powerless and ineffective. Although he may appear to be successful, inside he feels inadequate. Third, an abuser finds external excuses for his behavior. He will blame his violent on having a bad day, alcohol or drug use, his partner‟s behavior or anything that comes to mind to excuse his violent actions. Fourth, he may be charming and pleasant between his acts of violence. Outsiders may view him as a nice person. The last one, abuser may display some warning signs such as: a bad temper, cruelty to animals, extreme jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse, and unpredictability. Firdaus experiences four kinds of abuses.

4.2.2.1.1 Verbal Abuses

Verbal abuse occurs when one person uses words and body language to inappropriate criticizes another person. Verbal abuse often involves putdowns and name-calling intended to make the victim feel they are not worthy of love or respect, and that they do not have ability or talent. Verbal abuse is dangerous because it does not recognized easily as abuse, and therefore it can go on for extended periods, causing severe damage to victims self-esteem and self-worth. Damaged victims may fail to take advantage of opportunities that would enrich their lives because they come to believe they are not worthy of those opportunities Johnson, 2005, p. 1.