Involvement versus Independence The Factors of Misunderstanding in Alex’s and Gigi’s Conversations
48 a girl
and …I felt something.” Here, she also connected Alex‟s previous interaction with her.
Example [33c] Alex : What are you talking about? What have I been saying since I met
you? If a guy wants to date you he will make it happen. He will ask you out. Did I ask you out?
Gigi : No.
Alex : Why would you do this? Oh shit. Alex : Why do women do this? Why do they build this stuff up in their
minds, take each little thing a guy does and twist it into something else?
It‟s insane. The example [33
c] portrays that Alex was deeply disappointed at Gigi‟s explanation see Appendix G, pp. 74-75, items 145-149. He tried to explain that he
really did not want to have a closer relationship with Gigi. All he had done to Gigi was only helping her in solving
her personal problem “If a guy wants to date you he will make it happen
…” Moreover, he expressed his disappointment by complaining Gigi about women‟s attitude “Why do they build this stuff up in…”
Example [33] clearly shows the real differences between Alex and Gigi when they interpreted their relationship see Appendix G, pp. 73-75, items 134-149. In this
part, they were focusing on two different things, message and metamessage. When focusing on metamessage,
Gigi connected Alex‟s previous utterances with Alex‟s previous interaction with her. In this case, she thought that Alex treated her
differently from the other girls. She saw that the relation between Alex and her was not in an ordinary relationship any longer. Conversely, Alex, as a male speaker
focused on the message only without seeing any signals behind the message. Gigi PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
49 talked about „the sign‟ where Alex did not understand at all. It can be concluded that
message and metamessage led Alex and Gigi in getting misunderstanding. It is supported by Tannen 1991, who argues that the different point of views
in interpreting the meaning of statements or questions can lead both men and women to get misunderstanding. Mens style is more literally focused on the message level of
talk, while the womens is focused on the relationship or metamessage level see Chapter II, p. 18.