Overlapping The Conversational Style Used by Alex and Gigi
45 It can be said that in getting involved in their conversation, Gigi used self-disclosure.
She disclosed her own personal information to Alex. On the other hand, Alex responded Gigi‟s problem by giving advice “Im just gonna be honest with you,
Conor is never going to call you .” This conversation indicates that the female speaker
tended to share their personal problem and expected that she was get involved. Example [31]
Alex : I once called 55 Lauren Bells until I got the right one. Gigi : Thats cute. What happened?
Alex : Oh, yeah, as it turns out, her ass looked really huge in daylight. Gigi : Is it your sensitivity that makes you so popular with women?
Alex : Dont call him. He doesnt like you.
In contrast, the example above shows that the male speaker, Alex, did not want to disclose more about his personal problem see Appendix B, pp. 61-62, items
52-56. Alex tried to share his experience when he was looking for the right woman for him, and then Gigi asked what happened next. He responded to
Gigi‟s question by continuing his story. When Gigi asked deeper about his story, Alex did not answer
her question but he restated to Gigi about their previous topic “Dont call him. He doesnt like you.
” Both examples [30] and [31] portray the different perceptions about sharing
personal information in cross-sex conversations. Example [30] represents the characteristic of women speaker that involvement is one of the successful goals in
interaction. On the other hand, example [31] shows that men speaker tend to seek independence in their interaction.
46 A real major difference happened when men and women have different
perceptions about sharing their personal problem. It is supported by Tannen 1986 who says that women need for involvement while men need for independence. For
women, being understood without explaining what they mean is the result of getting involved. In contrast, independence for men means both men and women should be
able to tell each other what they want p. 132. These different interpretations became one of the factors that led them to get misunderstanding.