Overlapping The Conversational Style Used by Alex and Gigi

45 It can be said that in getting involved in their conversation, Gigi used self-disclosure. She disclosed her own personal information to Alex. On the other hand, Alex responded Gigi‟s problem by giving advice “Im just gonna be honest with you, Conor is never going to call you .” This conversation indicates that the female speaker tended to share their personal problem and expected that she was get involved. Example [31] Alex : I once called 55 Lauren Bells until I got the right one. Gigi : Thats cute. What happened? Alex : Oh, yeah, as it turns out, her ass looked really huge in daylight. Gigi : Is it your sensitivity that makes you so popular with women? Alex : Dont call him. He doesnt like you. In contrast, the example above shows that the male speaker, Alex, did not want to disclose more about his personal problem see Appendix B, pp. 61-62, items 52-56. Alex tried to share his experience when he was looking for the right woman for him, and then Gigi asked what happened next. He responded to Gigi‟s question by continuing his story. When Gigi asked deeper about his story, Alex did not answer her question but he restated to Gigi about their previous topic “Dont call him. He doesnt like you. ” Both examples [30] and [31] portray the different perceptions about sharing personal information in cross-sex conversations. Example [30] represents the characteristic of women speaker that involvement is one of the successful goals in interaction. On the other hand, example [31] shows that men speaker tend to seek independence in their interaction. 46 A real major difference happened when men and women have different perceptions about sharing their personal problem. It is supported by Tannen 1986 who says that women need for involvement while men need for independence. For women, being understood without explaining what they mean is the result of getting involved. In contrast, independence for men means both men and women should be able to tell each other what they want p. 132. These different interpretations became one of the factors that led them to get misunderstanding.

2. Message versus Metamessage

To verify this factor, the researcher identified the following conversations as represented in example [32] and 33]: Example [32] Alex : Would you mind helping and refilling Gigi : ----interruption---- kind of like co-hosting? Alex : Uhh, OK. Just refilling the chips . They‟re on the fridge. Thanks. Example [32] shows that Alex asked Gigi to help him in his party see Appendix F, p. 72, items 129-130. In this case, he was asking help by using polite request. For Alex, this was just an ordinary request when he stated, “Just refilling the chips ” to Gigi without any hidden messages in his request. Conversely, Gigi thought that this was not an ordinary request from Alex. In other words, she focused on metamessage on Alex‟s request when she interrupted “…kind of like co-hosting?” because She thought that there was a signal from Alex to make both of them in a closer relationship by helping Alex in the party.