Love at First Sight

attempt to keep Sibel from losing her patience and leaving him. Here, the quota tion proves Peabody’ s theory that obsessors are terrified to go looking for trouble out of fear of losing companionship 2005: 44. The second quotation shows that Kemal fears of being left alone during his difficult time. In fact, Sibel only goes to Paris for a short holiday with her female friend. Therefore, Kemal’ s suspicion that Sibel might want to leave him only proves that in terms of relationship, Kemal is very insecure. Obsessors are afraid of being alone because they feel that they might see life is not worth living for without a relationship. They also think that their life will be empty without having someone they love. The below quotation proves Kemal’ s fear of an ending of a relationship Peabody, 2005: 44. Toward morning, with the north wind blowing into every corner of the house, as I lay in bed in a drunken stupor, it occurred to me that it had been a very long while since the fisherman had last come in his boat with his son. There was still one part of my mind sound enough to see things clearly, and it was telling me that a chapter of my life was now coming to a close, but the greater part of me was still too anxious and fearful of being alone to let me accept this truth. p. 208 In the above quotation, Kemal is in a state of drunkenness. At that time, Fusun has gone missing for months following the engagement party. He is depressed because he still does not know Fusun’ s whereabouts yet he can not move on with his life. Kemal and Fusun has been a secret lover for forty four days before she disappears so suddenly. The quotation suggests that part of his mind already realizes that his relationship with Fusun is over, however Kemal does not want to acknowledge the reality because he is afraid of loneliness and separation from someone he is madly in love. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI Since obsessors have tremendous fear of feeling abandoned, they usually see their relationship, especially with their object of obsession, as a safe harbor that represents secure feeling. However, as obsessors see the relationship as a way to gain a sense of security, they might do anything to prevent them from losing the object of their obsession, something they are very much afraid of, as shown in the below quotation. I couldn’ t bear to imagine her as the sort of woman who would ruthlessly manipulate magazine writers in pursuit of fame and fortune. But in the looks of the Pelur crowd, I saw a lot of people who would do anything to part “us”— and I use that word because it was the first to enter my mind. If Fusun became a famous film star, it would only magnify my love for her, and with it my fear of losing her. p. 335 The above quotation clearly shows that Kemal is afraid that Fusun might use any means to become a star. It also implies Kemal’ s insecurity as he believes many people want them to part, thereby proving Susan Peabody’ s theory that obsessors’ insecurity tend to lead them getting suspicious easily 2005: 45. Although being an actress is Fusun’ s long time aspiration, Kemal actually does not have an intention to make her dream comes true, out of fear of losing her. The last sentence in the quotation also suggests that Kemal‘ s excessive love is equal to his excessive fear of losing Fusun. Therefore it can be proven that Kemal indeed has an exaggerated fear in terms of relationship. I n her book, Susan Peabody suggests that obsessors’ s fear in terms of relationship is the root of their possessive behavior. They have a constant need for reassurance that they are wanted and loved. Making sure that they will not be left for someone else is also on top of their priority. In a healthy relationship, jealousy is not uncommon. The difference between a normal jealousy and the abnormal one is intensity. Below is a quotation showing Kemal’ s abnormal jealousy. I calculated that it would be another fifteen hours before I could give it to Fusun as a present, and wrap my arms around her and forget all my jealous thoughts; and for the first time I felt pain at being unable to call her on the phone. It was a burning sensation, from inside me, and it felt like remorse. What was she doing at this moment? My feet were not carrying me home but in just the opposite direction. My inner rationalist, though weakened by all the raki I’ d drunk, was not yet dead, and now it warned me that it would be Fusun’ s father who’ d ope n the door and that the consequences might be scandalous. I walked only far enough to be able to see their house in the distance, and the lights in the windows. Just to see the second-floor windows reached by the chesnut tree was enough to make my heart pound. As drunk as I was, I was now seeing things clearly — yes, I had come here on this moonlit night to catch a glimpse of Fusun, perchance to kiss her, to speak to her, but in equal part to ensure that she was not spending this evening with someone else. I do not remember how long I stood there looking at the windows. It was, I know, quite late by the time I got home. p. 67 According to Susan Peabody, obsessors’ fear of losing their object of obsession can be seen in the way they act possessively 2005: 45. In the above quotation, Kemal is seen walking drunkenly to Fusun’ s house at night with the intention of overseeing her. Kemal does that because he wants to know whether or not Fusun is at her home. He needs to make sure that Fusun is not spending the night with someone else. This is a strong proof of an abnormal jealousy since Kemal is unable to restrain his urge to spy Fusun’ s activity. Moreover, the time is inappropriate for Kemal to do so as it is a rather frightening idea to keep an eye on someone late at night. One of the signs of abnormal jealousy is becoming excessively jealous of other people they see as a threat for their relationship. Deep down, obsessors have low self esteem which results in their possessive behavior. They are not