Chemical Imbalance The Causes of Kemal Basmaci’ s Obsessive Love
In her book, Susan Peabody states that the majority of obsessors come
from a family where the parent is emotionally unhealthy 2005: 34. Kemal’ s
fat
her exhibits a sign of a depressed person. “At home I found our sitting room
empty; sometimes I would come home to find that my father, having gotten up in the middle of the night, was sitting out there in his pajamas, and I would enjoy
chatting with him b
efore I went to bed p.34”. When arriving home late at night,
Kemal often finds his father sitting in the sitting room after failing to prolong his
sleep. Sleep difficulty is a sign of severe depression, as one’ s mind is heavily
preoccupied. A depressed person will find it hard to feel happy, as they are unable to
see the positive side of everything. “Any intelligent person knows that life is a
beautiful thing and that the purpose of life is to be happy, but it seems only idiots are ever happy. How can we
explain this? p.105”. The quotation implies that deep inside, Kemal’ s father is an unhappy man even though he is rich, reputable,
and successful. He retires from his firms and hands them over to his two sons who now manage the businesses. However, he does little with his life aside from
being in the house. “Changing the subject, I told her that my father seemed to be withdrawing from the world a little more every day p.217”. Kemal’ s remark
about his father suggests that his father is depressed, as depressed person tends to
isolate himself and refuses to live a full life. His father’ s depressed attitude is a
proof that Kemal does not have a healthy role model to follow. Susan Forward states that obsessors come from home where at least one
parent is alcoholic 2002: 187. In addition, Susan Peabody also states that PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
obsessors whose parent as a role model has addictive and obsessive behavior will see that addictive and obsessive behavior are normal 2005: 34. As parent and
role model, Kemal’ s father should
set a good example to follow. When faced
with life’ s hardship, he should deal with it healthily. However, having been depressed for years, Kemal’ s father seeks refuge in alcohol. “During the
infrequent meals that we ate together she took to warning me against drinking too
much, just as she warned my father p.164”. As child often subconsciously mirrors their role model, it is highly likely that Kemal’ s way to cope with his
depression regarding his obsessive love is learnt from his father’ s behavior. Just as his father, Kemal also seeks refuge in alcohol addiction. “My mother did just
as she’ d done when my father was alive; a merciless critique of whatever was on
the screen; at least once a night, she would tell me not to drink so much, just as she used to
tell my father p.231”. In fact, as a result of their alcoholism, both
Kemal and his father die of heart attack in roughly the same age.
As a role model, it is very essential for Kemal’ s father to project a
positive image of self as expected. This is important not only because the child may reflect the negativity, but also because an emotionally unhealthy parent may
end up becoming an emotionally unavailable parent. In turn, it can make the child feeling abandoned.
I was in pain, great pain. Your brother had married, and you were in America. But of course I tried to hide my anguish from your mother. To
steal into a corner like a thief and suffer in secret
—
that was another agony. Your mother had sensed the existence of this mistress, just as she
had with the others; understanding that something serious was going on, she said nothing. Your mother, and Bekri and Fatma Hanim
—
we lived together like a cast of characters imitating a happy family in a hotel room.
I could see that I would find no relief, that if it carried on this way I would PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
go mad, but I couldn’ t bring myself to do what was necessary. p.91 In the above quotation, Kemal’ s father tells Kemal about the reason of his years
of depression. It turns out that his father loses his secret lover for eleven years who disappear from his life so suddenly, much like what Kemal experiences
when losing Fusun. His father realizes that he should not dwell in her disappearance, however he can do nothing but obsessing over her for eleven
years that follow. What I feel now is only remorse. I never paid her enough compliments,
and I would give anything to be able to tell her a thousand times over what a charming, precious person she was. She truly had a heart of gold, a
lovely, modest, utterly enchanting girl. . . .Sh
e wasn’ t like other beauties I’ ve seen here. She never flaunted it, she was never demanding, never
expected gifts or flattery. You see, it’ s not just that I lost her; it’ s also that I know I didn’ t treat her as she deserved—that’ s wh
y I still suffer. p.93 The above quotation is a proof of how Kemal’ s father seems to be living in the
past. Although ten years have passed since he finally learns that his secret lover
dies, Kemal’ s father still suffers and wallows in guilt. This is a poor example to
follow,
because people can not change what has happened. Kemal’ s father
attitude and behavior implies that when one makes mistake in life, one should
live in regret for ever, as shown in below quotation .Here, Kemal’ s father shows
an unhealthy role modelling as he projects negativity attitude and depression.
“You can’ t sleep either?” my father whispered. In the darkness I had not
noticed him lying on the other chaise lounge.
“I’ ve been having some trouble lately,” I whispered guiltily. “Don’ t worry, it will pass,” he said softly. “You’ r
e still young. It’ s still very early for you to be losing sleep over this kind of pain, so don’ t fret.
But when you get to my age, if you have some regrets in life, you’ ll have to lie here counting the stars until dawn.” p.182
In the above quotation, Kemal’ s father gives a poor advise to Kemal. He says that
when one feels depressed and regretful about something, one should succumb to his depression, without doing anything to change the situation or to improve
himself. This kind of self-undoing is emotionally unhealthy, as it prevents someone to let go of something painful and move on with his life. Therefore, the
fact that Kemal’ s father fails to become a good role model is also the cause of Kemal’ s inability to let go of his o
bsessive love toward Fusun. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI