In the above quotation, Kemal is at a beach sunbathing on the sand. Then, he remembers that Fusun wants to go to the beach for long. It makes him sad as
now Fusun is gone, he can not fulfill her wish. Kemal starts to feel that he has
wasted God’ s gift represented by Fusun. Although feeling sad and wanting to cry,
Kemal think he does not have the right to cry since it is his own fault. Here, Kemal depicts his dysfunctional emotion because for him, he can cry only if he is
the victim. Holding back tears is not good for emotional health because not expressing emotion can prevent one from healing their emotional torment and be
ready to move on with their life. Besides, there is no rule stating that someone who is at fault is not be allowed to cry.
4. Weak Personality Boundary
In this part Kemal’ s characteristic of being weak
-willed and indecisive character may play a part. Being weak-willed and oversensitive, Kemal often
chooses to go with the flow and adapt to everything or everyone around him, losing sense of individuality in the process. In her book titled Addiction to Love:
Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationship, Susan Peabody states that most obsessors have weak personality boundary as a result of their low self-
esteem 2005: 49. Generally, people with low self-esteem are unsure whether or not they will be liked just the way they are. At the same time, obsessors have a
fear of rejection. Therefore, they want to ensure that they will be well-accepted. One of the signs of having weak personality boundaries is having no sense of
separation with others, as depicted in Kemal in the following quotation. I would arrogantly tell her that being careful was a part of being clever,
and I would watch the tip of her pencil pecking like the beak of a sparrow as she pounced on a new problem; she would pull at her hair nervously as
she simplified an equation with some skill, and I would follow her work anxiously, with the same impatienc
e, the same rising agitation.” p. 48
In the quotation, Kemal is teaching Fusun mathematics for her university entrance exam. Peabody stated that obsessors tend to lose their sense of
boundary, making them too easily affected by other people’ s emotion 2
005: 49. The theory is proven in the above quotation. When Fusun tries to solve a new and
difficult problem, she always appears uneasy. It seems that the difficulty she is facing lead her to becoming restless, as the quotation suggests through her
gesture
s. Strangely, Kemal seems to adapt to Fusun’ s emotion as he too feels
anxious and jittery just by watching her looking nervous. Kemal recounts that he feels as agitated and impatient as Fusun does. It is a proof that Kemal has weak
personality boundaries b
y unconsciously adopting Fusun’ s attitude.
Obsessors who have weak personality boundaries often seem to not having a sense of individuality. In the majority of time, they even have the same
feeling as their object of obsession. It includes the feeling of happiness, sadness, anger, and many others. The below quotation shows that Kemal likes to base his
attitude from that of Fusun’ s.
I treasured that moment when our eyes first met
—
not on first arrival, but while we were sitting down at the table
—
not only because it warmed my heart but because it spoke of what sort of evening lay ahead. If I saw
some contentment, some tranquility in Fusun’ s expression, even if it were
a frown, the rest of the evening would assume that tone. If, however, she was unhappy or unea
sy and so didn’ t smile, I wouldn’ t smile much eithe r.
p. 293 The above quotation describes how important the first glance he and
Fusun share while sitting together for supper at Fusun’ s house. When their eyes
meet, Kemal can tell whether or not Fusun’ s
mood is bright. If Kemal senses that Fusun radiates positive energy, he will maintain to have such positivity during
the supper. However, if Fusun does not look too vibrant, he will imitate that demeanour. The quotation is then a strong proof that Kemal has weak personality
boundaries, because he lets Fusun controls his mood and feeling for the rest of
the night. Another proof of Kemal’ s lack of individuality when it comes to
attitude is shown in below quotation. This time, Kemal describes that he can not feel the peace during supper time only because Fusun is not particularly relaxed
that night. It serves as a proof of Kemal’ s lack of individuality because if he sees
Fusun is unhappy, he can not feel happy either, although he feels happy upon arrival.
We had been sitting there eating and drinking for some time, I remember,
when I realized there was not peace at that table, for Fusun’ s tense
demeanour had set the tone for the evening, which would bring me no pleasure. p. 342
Weak personality boundaries can also be manifested by copying other
people’ s habit Peabody, 2005: 50. It is not uncommon for obsessors to follow
the habit of their object of obsession. Sometimes they do this to gain approval, but other times they do it because they do not really know who they are or what
they really like. “For nine years Fusun smoked Samsuns, for which brand I gave up Marlboros soon after beginning to dine at the Keskin’ s.” p. 393
Kemal deliberately switches the brand of his cigarette he smokes. Before beginning t
o dine at Fusun’ s house nearly every night, he always buys Marlboro,
but since becoming a regular at her house, Kemal buys Samsuns, a cigarette brand which is cheaper and less in quality. The quotation suggests that Kemal
smokes Fusun’ s
favourite cigarette brand because of Fusun herself, not because he likes the taste of Samsuns since the switch happens rather too quickly.
Imitating other people’ s habit can be seen as a subtle way to gain
approval. It is also understood that having the same habit or hobby might drive people closer. Obsessors use this trick to get connected to their object of
obsession, as described in below quotation. The tobacco was coarse and moist, not ground well enough, and the
cigarettes often contained what looked to be chips of wood, as well as undried lumps of the plants and thick-veined leaves. For this reason,
Fusun was in the habit of softening the cigarette before she smoked it by rolling it between her fingers, and over time I had acquired this habit, too,
rolling my cigarette between my fingers, just as she did, before lighting up, and I loved it when our eyes met as we were both doing this. p. 394
In the above quotation, Kemal describes how he imitates another Fusun’ s
habit that is to roll the cigarette before lighting it. They need to do this because the Samsuns cigarette is rough, not as smooth as the Marlboro, thus it needs
softening. Kemal recounts that he loves the moment when he and Fusun roll each of their cigarette. Here, it can be seen that Kemal does this not only to make the
smoking more enjoyable, but also to get connected with Fusun, as Kemal describes that holding gaze with Fusun while doing it brings happiness to him.
5. The Need to Create Drama and Excitement
To create excitement, obsessors try to make up a romantic fantasy in their mind. More often than not, obsessors who are experiencing a ruined relationship
with the object of obsession will create a happy imagination to cope with the reality while maintaining their excitement alive, as pointed by Susan Peabody in
her book titled Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
Relationship
2005: 41. The following quotation is Kemal’ s fantasy.
That night my mind was fixed on one fantasy: the film premiere, and Fusun holding the microphone, speaking to the admiring audience at the
Palace Cinema
—
or was the New Angle Cinema a better choice?
—
thanking me first and foremost. When I came on stage, those attuned to the latest gossip would whisper that during the filming the young star had
fallen in love with the producer and left her husband. The photograph of Fusun kissing me on the cheek would appear in all the newspapers. p.
253
The above quotation shows that Kemal fantasizes about a film premiere where he acts as the producer and Fusun being the actress. At this time, their
relationship is ruined because Fusun is already married. However, that circumstance does not stop Kemal from fantasizing about their love story. In his
fantasy, he imagines the public gossiping about a love affair emerged between
Kemal and Fusun during filming. Using Susan Peabody’ s theory, it is likely that Kemal’ s fantasy about being reunited with Fusun is just his way to entertain
himself that there is a possibility Fusun might leave her husband if he helps her to become an actress.
In her book, Susan Peabody stated that obsessors try to create excitement by continuing to fantasize about their object of obsession. Even after the
relationship ends, they still fantasize a lot about being reunited. As I sat there pressed against Fusun, I would imagine the day we married,
I would gaze at the moon and lose myself in dreams, for I felt as if I
—
we
—
had become like our ancestors in heaven, souls cleansed of guilt and sin, and I would abandon myself to my dreams, my delights, and the bliss
of sitting next to Fusun.” p. 339
In the above quotation, Kemal heads out for a night stroll with Fusun and her husband. When sitting next to Fusun, their skin brushes against each other.
Although Fusun acts as ordinary, Kemal starts to fantasize about a reunion as he PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
