abnormal one is intensity. Below is a quotation showing Kemal’ s abnormal
jealousy. I calculated that it would be another fifteen hours before I could give it to
Fusun as a present, and wrap my arms around her and forget all my jealous thoughts; and for the first time I felt pain at being unable to call
her on the phone. It was a burning sensation, from inside me, and it felt like remorse. What was she doing at this moment? My feet were not
carrying me home but in just the opposite direction. My inner rationalist,
though weakened by all the raki I’ d drunk, was not yet dead, and now it warned me that it would be Fusun’ s father who’ d ope
n the door and that
the consequences might be scandalous. I walked only far enough to be able to see their house in the distance, and the lights in the windows. Just
to see the second-floor windows reached by the chesnut tree was enough to make my heart pound. As drunk as I was, I was now seeing things
clearly
—
yes, I had come here on this moonlit night to catch a glimpse of Fusun, perchance to kiss her, to speak to her, but in equal part to ensure
that she was not spending this evening with someone else. I do not remember how long I stood there looking at the windows. It was, I know,
quite late by the time I got home. p. 67
According to Susan Peabody, obsessors’ fear of losing their object of
obsession can be seen in the way they act possessively 2005: 45. In the above
quotation, Kemal is seen walking drunkenly to Fusun’ s house at night with the
intention of overseeing her. Kemal does that because he wants to know whether or not Fusun is at her home. He needs to make sure that Fusun is not spending the
night with someone else. This is a strong proof of an abnormal jealousy since
Kemal is unable to restrain his urge to spy Fusun’ s
activity. Moreover, the time is inappropriate for Kemal to do so as it is a rather frightening idea to keep an eye
on someone late at night. One of the signs of abnormal jealousy is becoming excessively jealous of
other people they see as a threat for their relationship. Deep down, obsessors have low self esteem which results in their possessive behavior. They are not
confident that they can keep their object of obsession if faced with other competitor, especially the ones Kemal feels as a prospective suitor for Fusun. The
below quotation describes how Kemal feels an intense jealousy to Kenan, an employee in his office.
Heading to the table, stopping en route to embrace many guests, I was glancing at the dance floor, scanning it for Nurcihan and Zaim, when I
saw Fusun dancing. . . with Satsat’ s young and handsome new clerk
Kenan. . . Their bodies were far too close. . . An ache spread through my stomach as I returned to my seat. The orchestra going without pause from
one number to the next was now playing a slower, more soulful tune. At
the table there was a silence, a very long one, and I could feel jealousy’ s
venom mixing with my blood. p. 131
The above quotation shows Kemal’ s abnormal jealousy. He describes the
burning sensation inside his heart being similar to venom undermining his body. It is a clue that the jealousy he feels is so intense. He also describes that he feels
an ache in his stomach upon seeing Fusun dancing with his employee. The occurrence also suggests Kemal being egoistic. He does not care if Fusun might
feel the same jealousy and heart-break for attending his engagement party. Such
is Kemal’ s poss
essiveness that he can not let them continuing their dance. Therefore, Kemal uses some tricks to separate them, as shown in below
quotation.
In a short while I am going to invite Kenan to my father’ s table. What I
would like you to do is to go straight over to Fusun and keep her busy,
shadow her every move, like a good football defender, so that I don’ t die
of jealousy tonight
—
and so that I can get to the end of this evening
without succumbing to fantasies of firing Kenan.” p. 134
Kemal plans to use his position as a boss to hold Kenan at bay. At the
same time, he orders his best friend to guard Fusun’ s movements. Peabody
suggests that out of excessive fear and worry, obsessors might do something PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
possessive 2005: 45. This possessiveness is clearly seen in the way he tries to separate Fusun and Kenan. At the same time, the fact that firing Kenan comes to
his mind proves that what Kemal feels is an abnormal jealousy.
As an obsessor, Kemal’ s jealousy is far too intense. While the majority of
people usually do not get jealous of a past lover, Kemal is different. He still feels
threatened by Fusun’ s past admirer, who is not even her lover, as shown n the
below quotation.
Although I was seeing double from the raki, I found Turgay Bey’ s name at
once and crossed it out with a ballpoint pen, and then, propelled by a sudden sweet compulsion, I put down the names of Fusun and her parents,
along with their Kuyulu Bostan Street address, and in a low voice, I said:
“My mother doesn’ t know this, Madam, but the gentle
man whose name I crossed out, though a valued family friend, was recently overzealous about
a yarn business deal. It saddens me to say that he has knowingly done our family a great wrong. p. 65
The quotation shows another proof of Kemal’ s abnormal jealo
usy. Earlier that day, Fusun tells Kemal about a number of men who once have shown
interest in her. One of them is Turgay Bey, a wealthy and handsome man who is a family friend of Kemal. His jealousy leads him to impulsively exclude Turgay
Bey’ s from the i
nvitation list of the engagement party. It clearly shows that
Kemal’ s jealousy is irrational. He lets his jealousy get the better of him because
as a family friend, Turgay Bey should be invited.
3. Dysfunctional Emotions
Obsessors are prone to dysfunctional emotions, especially when the relationship runs into obstacle. The dysfunctional emotions can appear as though
obsessors are unable to assess their emotions and express them accordingly. It leads them being unable to manifest their emotions healthily. In Kemal, this
dysfunctional emotion when dealing with his obsessive love is very understandable. This is because Kemal himself is a person whose characteristic is
rather indecisive and unclear. One of the examples of dysfunctional emotions is having a tendency to develop a confusing kind of feeling, as shown in below
quotation. Sometimes I wondered whether this was all happening because her
entrance exam had gone badly. Afterward in my guilty dreams I would give her long, exacting math lessons; my pain would abate, especially
when the math lessons were over and we would make love. But the dream would end abruptly when I remembered that she had broken the promise
made while we danced at the engagement party
—
to come to me as soon as the exam was over
—
and when I recalled that she had not even furnished me with an excuse, I would begin to feel angry at her, my
resentment fed, too, by her lesser crimes
—
trying to make me jealous at the party, listening while the Satsat employees joked at my expense. p.
149
Peabody stated that one characteristic of having dysfunctional emotion is to develop confusing feeling 2005: 46. It can be seen that at first Kemal feels
guilty for not giving Fusun a proper math lesson as he has promised her when they first meet in the Merhamet apartment. Instead of teaching Fusun, he uses
their secret meeting to seduce her. As a result, she fails in the test and disappears. In an attempt to relieve his guilt, Kemal dreams of teaching her properly.
However he suddenly feels angry when rememb
ering about Fusun’ s minor mistakes. It is clear that Kemal has dualistic feeling regarding Fusun’ s
disappearance. He feels both guilty and angry, which is quite opposite. Another
proof of Kemal’ s dualistic feeling, pulled between guilt and anger is shown i
n the below quotation. When thinking about Fusun, Kemal feels a deep compassion
that results from love though at the same time also feeling an equal amount of PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
anger, thus indicating his love-hate feeling, another characteristic of dysfunctional emotion Peabody, 2005: 46.
“
I would feel a deep compassion for Fusun welling up inside me at the same moment, and this reminded me of how
much anger I felt, too p. 196
”.
Susan Peabody states that dysfunctional emotion is also characterized by an impulsive and fluctuate rage 2005: 46. Usually, the rage is a manifestation of
obsessors’ own depression and frustration at being unable to handle their emotion
or being unable to express their emotion. Below is an example of the sudden rage Kemal feels, along with his longing to meet Fusun.
As much as I would long for an escape from this suffering, I longed for someone to confide in, to find Fusun and talk to her, but when that
longing went unfulfilled I would yearn to pick a fight with someone, anyone to whom I could attribute this damning, furious resentment. p.
159
The above quotation describes Kemal’ s sudden attack of rage. The first
line of the quotation suggests that he misses Fusun. Missing someone is a tender and beautiful feeling. However, with Kemal, the tender feeling suddenly changes
into rage, thus proving his dysfunctional emotion. This sudden rage likely emerges because while he feels angry toward Fusun for putting himself in the
misery, he “can not” get angry with her for she is the only person who
can bring him back to life. So powerful is his frustration that he feels as if he needs to pick
a fight with someone, as a manifestation, because he can not express his anger to Fusun.
Susan Peabody also suggests that obsessors often have a strange way to manifest their frustration. Instead of assessing their emotion and directing their
anger to the person causing it, they will make a dramatic plot in their mind, as shown in the below quotation.
Sometimes, after midnight, having had a lot to drink at a nightclub or a party, I would see my rage directed not at
society’ s
idiocies, its tedious conventions, nor my own foolishness in succumbing to my obsession; my
anger was directed at Fusun; in a walled-off corner of my mind, I would fretfully acknowledge that I was in perpetual argument with her, at times
thinking secretly that she had chosen to reject the pleasant life I could
have given her, in favor of this flooded rat’ s nest in Cukurkuma. p. 247
The above quotation shows that Kemal makes Fusun a scapegoat for his anger and frustration, though actually he should blame himself for his self-
undoing. He then creates an imaginary scene in which they have an argument. In the argument, he imagines that Fusun deliberately reject his offer for a better life
with their being together. In his imagination, Fusun chooses to separate with him and living in her own poor neighbourhood area. By imagining such scene, Kemal
wants to believe that Fusun’ s foolishness for rejecting his offer makes him rightly
angry at her. This is a proof of dysfunctional emotions because Kemal wrongly diverts his anger to Fusun rather than to himself. He even makes an imaginary
excuse to make it feels right. Dysfunctional emotion can also take a form as an inability to express the
emotions openly. For example, obsessors might feel afraid to open up about their negative feeling, as it can drive their object of obsession away. The following
quotation shows Kemal’ s inability to express his regret and sadness.
Why had I not once brought her to Kilyos Beach, knowing how much
she’ d have wanted to go? How could I not have recognized the value of
this great gift God had given me When was I going to see her? As I lay
there in the sun, I wanted to cry, but knowing I was guilty, I couldn’ t
allow myself, and instead I buried my head in the sand, and felt damned. p. 168
In the above quotation, Kemal is at a beach sunbathing on the sand. Then, he remembers that Fusun wants to go to the beach for long. It makes him sad as
now Fusun is gone, he can not fulfill her wish. Kemal starts to feel that he has
wasted God’ s gift represented by Fusun. Although feeling sad and wanting to cry,
Kemal think he does not have the right to cry since it is his own fault. Here, Kemal depicts his dysfunctional emotion because for him, he can cry only if he is
the victim. Holding back tears is not good for emotional health because not expressing emotion can prevent one from healing their emotional torment and be
ready to move on with their life. Besides, there is no rule stating that someone who is at fault is not be allowed to cry.
4. Weak Personality Boundary
In this part Kemal’ s characteristic of being weak
-willed and indecisive character may play a part. Being weak-willed and oversensitive, Kemal often
chooses to go with the flow and adapt to everything or everyone around him, losing sense of individuality in the process. In her book titled Addiction to Love:
Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationship, Susan Peabody states that most obsessors have weak personality boundary as a result of their low self-
esteem 2005: 49. Generally, people with low self-esteem are unsure whether or not they will be liked just the way they are. At the same time, obsessors have a
fear of rejection. Therefore, they want to ensure that they will be well-accepted. One of the signs of having weak personality boundaries is having no sense of
separation with others, as depicted in Kemal in the following quotation. I would arrogantly tell her that being careful was a part of being clever,
