86
enjoyment.” 1984: 23 However, it sounds natural in the target text with an expression of tinggal for living instead of hidup, so the translation of He living
here with you into Dia tinggal di sini denganmu is considered to be an acceptable translation in the target text and there is no need to have a grammatical
reconstruction. Thus, the researcher agrees with the translation and does not provide a suggested translation.
4.2.2. III.B. Classification B Less acceptable, includes the data with mean score 1.6—2.5
This classification covers all data with mean score from 1.6 to 2.5. There are 36 data which are classified into this category. In this classification, the target
text sounds like a translation. There are also some unnatural expressions and word choices. Thus, there are some reasons why the raters do not give the best score for
the translation. The examples of this classification are as follows: Example 4.19.
01000:07:02OSCL Black English Dialect: My little sister, Nettie, got a man always looking
at her. Standard American English : My little sister, Nettie, has got a man always
looking at her. 01000:07:02TTCL Adik saya, memiliki seorang pria yang selalu
menjaganya. All of the three raters assume that the translation is less acceptable as
concluded from the scores given. They provide the same score, 2, for this datum.
87
It means that the translation of datum number 010 is less acceptable. One of the rater points out the part of target text which makes it sound like a translation
work. The raters consider that the use of comma , in the target text after phrase adik saya. It will disturb the viewer when reading a sentence which is incomplete
yet. Moreover, the character has more than one sibling in the scene. The use of the comma , can still be applied but there should be followed by a name of the
speaker’s sister, namely, Nettie, after adik saya to make the translation clearer. As mentioned earlier, the target text sounds less natural. There are unnatural
expression and word choice when the translator translates the words got and look at into memiliki dan menjaganya. Thus, the translation is considered to be
difficult to understand since it is not expressed naturally in the target text. As a translator, we should be able to present this meaning in a clear natural expression.
The researcher provides the suggested translation as Ada seorang pria yang selalu melihat adikku, Nettie.
Example 4.20. 13201: 23:16OSCL
Black English Dialect: Is going to miss you. Standard American English: I’m going to miss you.
13201: 23:16TTCL Akan merindukanmu.
The mean of datum number 132 is 2.3. One rater scores 3 while two others give score 2. The raters giving score 2 consider the translation as less acceptable.
It sounds like a work of translation. The translation does not follow the target text
88
structure. Moreover, the subject is omitted in the target text so that the translation will not be clear since it is not clearly mentioned who the actor is. It is not clear
who has the feeling of missing someone. There are three characters involved in this scene, such as: Celie, Albert, and Shug. When Celie says I’s going too miss
you, it indicates that she is the one who is going to miss Shug. But if the translator does not provide the translation of the subject, the audience may have an
interpretation that there is someone else missing Shug. The message is accurate and can be understood but the style is very unnatural. It is not expressed in an
interesting way. In this sentence, it is better to retain the subject. The recommended translation is Aku akan merindukanmu.
Example 4.21. 15102:01:47OSSO
Black English Dialect: I know what it like to want to sing and have it beat out of you.
Standard American English: I know what it is like to want to sing and to have it beat out of you.
15102:01:47TTSO Saya tahu seperti apa ingin bernyanyi dan menyusunmu.
In datum number 151, one rater gives score 1 while two others give 2 resulting 1.7 in the mean score. The mean score of the translation ranges from 1.6
to 2.5. The raters consider that the translation of I know what it like to want to sing and have it beat out of you into Saya tahu seperti apa ingin bernyanyi dan
menyusunmu is definitely confusing and should be revised. The translation in the
89
target text sounds less natural in the sentence. This belongs to less acceptable category since the researcher notices an unnatural expression and word choices.
Beat out of you is translated into menyusunmu which may create confusion to the viewers since there is no relation between menyusunmu which means built up in
English with bernyanyi or to sing. The word menyusunmu, especially, sounds awkward. It does not sound natural and sounds like a work of translation. The
translation will be more acceptable if the expressions are revised into Kutahu seperti apa rasanya ingin bernyanyi tapi tidak bisa.
Example 4.22. 16202:05:27OSCL The jail you planned for me is the one youll rot in.
16202:05:27TTCL Penjara yang kau rencanakan untuk saya adalah satu yang akan kau busukkan.
Standard American English: The jail you have planned for me is the one youll rot in.
The mean score of datum number 162 is 2.3 meaning that the translation is less acceptable. Two raters score 2 considering the translation to be less
acceptable and one rater scores 3 for this datum. The two raters state that the target text sounds like a work of translation and therefore, the message of the
target text is difficult to comprehend. They also think that the translation needs a revision. The word satu makes the translation sounds less natural. The word the
one refers to the jail penjara so it is better be translated into tempat, not, satu. The one you’ll rot in means that the jail is the place for you to rot in, not, the place
90
you are going to rot it in. So the person whom the speaker talks to is the one who is going to spend his live in the jail. The suggested translation will be Penjara
yang kau rencanakan untukku adalah tempat membusukmu kelak.
4.2.2. III.C. Classification C Unacceptable, includes the data with mean score 1.0—1.5