Not every academic essay has a conclusion.

3. A careful re-reading of the essay would suggest the following points.

a The essay only partly answers the title. It looks at university life from a student’s position, but does not really deal with the system as a whole. The last line of the conclusion discusses a question not asked in the title. b To deal with the subject more fully the writer needs to examine topics such as length of courses, funding of students, and admission procedures. If there is not space to discuss these in detail they must be at least mentioned, to show that the writer is aware that they are central to the subject. c The introduction needs to be more general. It goes straight to a comparison of teaching methods. This could be in the main body. Otherwise the essay is well organised and quite logical.

4. Use the notes below to re-write the introductory paragraph.

university education important in both UK Japan over 30 18-year-olds main points for comparison: a admissions b length of courses: 1st and higher degrees c teaching methods d assessment e financial support essay will examine each point and analyse differences between countries 1.13 Introductions cross reference In both Britain and Japan, university education is undertaken by a significant number about 30 of all young people after leaving school. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5. Read this extract from the main body of an essay on ‘Education is the most important factor in national development – Discuss’. Study the notes below and then re-write the extract. The need for education is crucial in any field. a It is something that no one can deny. b The development in technology has provided us with many devices and machines that facilitate our lives. Nowadays, factories produce more in less time and that helps the economies of countries. The different scientific discoveries have improved the quality of life as well. The development in the medical field is an example; vaccines and antibiotics have saved many lives . Take Japan, a country with few natural riches, where most of the land is mountains, but it is now one of the strongest countries economically. c The natural poverty of Japan has, in fact, been overcome by education and it has become one of the most important countries in a short period of time. a This sentence repeats the idea in the first, but doesn’t add anything new. b Not clear how this section relates to the subject. No clear link is established between education and technology. c The case for linking Japanese development and education is not established – the claim is too strong. Other factors need to be considered. 4.5 Discursive Essay cross reference