Write the introduction about 100 words, using your answers from 9 and the notes provided below.

When you have finished the conclusion it may be tempting to hand in your work immediately. However, it is almost certain that it can be improved by being revised. With longer assignments, it may be worth asking a classmate to give an opinion. 1. After finishing the first draft of an essay you should, if you have time, wait for a while and then re-read the essay, asking the following questions. a How well does this answer the question in the title? b Have I forgotten any points that would strengthen the development? c Is it clearly structured and well linked together? 2. Read this short essay written by a Japanese student to the title ‘Compare the university system in your country with the British system’. Answer the questions above by making notes below. It is said that there are large differences in the teaching methods between British universities and Japanese ones. Courses in British universities consist mainly of lectures, discussions, presentations and tutorials and students study specifically their major subject. On the other hand, Japanese universities normally have only lectures in the first two years and students have to study a wide range of subjects in addition to their major. The aim of this essay is to compare and analyse each system. In British universities, students need a more active attitude in their study than Japanese students. They need to prepare for presentations and discussions. This is useful for learning because they take much time for study outside the classroom and as they become familiar with their subjects they will become more interested in them. In Japan, students’ attitude is amazingly passive and they study only just before exams. The other difference between British universities and Japanese ones is, as mentioned above, British students concentrate on their major subject and gain specific knowledge about it. Japanese students, however, gain wider knowledge by studying a few other subjects in addition to their major. This system gives students apparently much knowledge but they cannot study their major deeply and their knowledge is wide-ranging but not useful. In conclusion, British teaching methods give students more chance to know the subject thoroughly compared to Japanese teaching methods, but Japanese methods are suitable for students who are eager to gain a wide range of knowledge and like to study on their own. It is hard to say which is better, it depends on students. a . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . b . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . c . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

15. Re-reading and Re-writing

2.3 Comparisons cross reference

3. A careful re-reading of the essay would suggest the following points.

a The essay only partly answers the title. It looks at university life from a student’s position, but does not really deal with the system as a whole. The last line of the conclusion discusses a question not asked in the title. b To deal with the subject more fully the writer needs to examine topics such as length of courses, funding of students, and admission procedures. If there is not space to discuss these in detail they must be at least mentioned, to show that the writer is aware that they are central to the subject. c The introduction needs to be more general. It goes straight to a comparison of teaching methods. This could be in the main body. Otherwise the essay is well organised and quite logical.

4. Use the notes below to re-write the introductory paragraph.

university education important in both UK Japan over 30 18-year-olds main points for comparison: a admissions b length of courses: 1st and higher degrees c teaching methods d assessment e financial support essay will examine each point and analyse differences between countries 1.13 Introductions cross reference