Was this a test of some kind? At the time, that thought didn’t enter my mind. I took this gift to mean that he did not want me to be lonely while he
was gone… … I wrote to Hal about the encounter in glowing terms, thanking him for
the condom. It had served its purpose after all Hal was deeply hurt. He wrote his disappointment in a terse letter. I was
confused, but in hindsight I can see I should not have been surprised. I
determined to be more careful with Hal’s feelings, and to stay out of the way of other men Van Raay 315.
From the discussion above, it is obvious that Carla is naive. It can be
observed through her reactions, and her thought. She is lack of knowledge which makes her believe that people always tell her the truth.
3. Introverted
In Carla’s childhood, she grows up to be an introverted person because of keeping a secret of which her father has done a sex abuse to her. She is more
interested in concerning her own thoughts and feelings than spending time with other people. Carla is too anxious if people know what has happened between her
and her father. She cannot share the secret to anyone. ‘She’s growing too fast,’ they all said, ‘maybe that’s why she’s become so
skinny, and so shy, as well. ‘They might have added, ‘So shy that is scared to look at you, and wants no one to even notice h
er.’ It wasn’t a growth spurt; it was the terrible secret I now carried. I couldn’t
share it with anyone, this dark and sad burden on my soul Van Raay 26. Carla does not like spending time with other people but she likes spending
time with her dolls. She can share everything what she feels to her dolls. She thinks that only her dolls that know her. She relates to them as she will have
preferred to relate to the people around her. She pretends to be some characters she expects from people around her, which she becomes an untiringly tender
mother, a sister, a child asking for helps, a nurse, and a creative problem-solver Van Raay 50.
Through character as seen by others and her thought when Carla is a child, it can be concluded that she is an introverted girl. She is more interested in
concerning her own thought and feelings than spending time with other people. She cannot share her feeling with anyone. She is more interested in sharing with
her dolls than sharing with other people.
4. Vengeful
Carla is a vengeful girl. She keeps the feeling of vengeance on what her father has done to her. Her father has done sexual abuses repeatedly to her when
she is a child and he has threatened Carla not to tell others, even the priest. She feels painful so that she cannot forget it along her life Van Raay 26-30.
The most unforgettable moment is a moment once happens in the coal shed, where her father works to make shoes and create toys for Christmas and
birthdays. Carla’s father calls her there and then he shuts the door quickly without
turning on the light. He threatens her violently in order to his daughter keeps the secret.
My father’s face was contorted in a terrible in a terrible way and he could barely get his words out. His hands found their way first around my
shoulders, shaking them violently, and then suddenly around my neck as he began to strangle me. His tone was ugly, reminding me of the kind of
talking that was not allowed in our house
… ‘Don’t talk to anyone about this…’ he panted, poking a finger into my
mouth to indicate what he meant, unable to say what had never been admitted to in daylight. The words came thickly from his twisted mouth,
reverting to the dialect he had learned on the streets. ‘Don’t talk about it Especially not to the priest Understand? Nobody’ the vein in his forehead
were standing out and his eyes were wild. He was grinding his teeth. Suddenly, he let me drop to the sooty floor. I fell in a bundle at his feet,
unable to answer, pulsing one moment with the hopeless desire to plead, the next with the desire to die, until finally I was overcome by fear of
actually dying. Van Raay 29
Carla’s desire of vengeance also can be seen in some moments when she comes to the therapists after Hal urges her to visit them
. It is caused by Hal’s suspect that there is something in her past that seriously needs to be healed. In her
therapy process, Carla often finds glimpses of her father’s body when she is asked
to close her eyes and imagine something. Then, it causes her feeling of vengeance. She says to herself,
‘there was no love left in me then, and no pleading, no questions; there was only overwhelming desire to punish him. And with all the
intension I could muster, I cursed him ’ Van Raay 372.
From the discussion above, it is obvious that Carla is vengeful. It can be analyzed from her thoughts, her speech and her reactions. What her father does
when she is a child leaves a strong feeling of vengeance on her. This feeling comes up when she grows older. She realizes it while she is having therapists to
heal herself.
5. Open-minded
Carla becomes an open-minded person after she faces many problems in her career as a prostitute. Carla is not Carla she used to be.
She receives Hal’s suggestion to have therapies because he first suspects that there is something in
her past that seriously needs healing. When a couple of therapist comes to town that specialized in championing people who have suffered at the hands of adults
when they are children, Hal urges Carla to visit the therapist and offers to pay the expenses Van Raay 369.
