unable to answer, pulsing one moment with the hopeless desire to plead, the next with the desire to die, until finally I was overcome by fear of
actually dying. Van Raay 29
Carla’s desire of vengeance also can be seen in some moments when she comes to the therapists after Hal urges her to visit them
. It is caused by Hal’s suspect that there is something in her past that seriously needs to be healed. In her
therapy process, Carla often finds glimpses of her father’s body when she is asked
to close her eyes and imagine something. Then, it causes her feeling of vengeance. She says to herself,
‘there was no love left in me then, and no pleading, no questions; there was only overwhelming desire to punish him. And with all the
intension I could muster, I cursed him ’ Van Raay 372.
From the discussion above, it is obvious that Carla is vengeful. It can be analyzed from her thoughts, her speech and her reactions. What her father does
when she is a child leaves a strong feeling of vengeance on her. This feeling comes up when she grows older. She realizes it while she is having therapists to
heal herself.
5. Open-minded
Carla becomes an open-minded person after she faces many problems in her career as a prostitute. Carla is not Carla she used to be.
She receives Hal’s suggestion to have therapies because he first suspects that there is something in
her past that seriously needs healing. When a couple of therapist comes to town that specialized in championing people who have suffered at the hands of adults
when they are children, Hal urges Carla to visit the therapist and offers to pay the expenses Van Raay 369.
On the therapy programs she attends, she learns to tell and share her problems. Carla often has conversation with the therapist. There are so many
questions and instructions that have to be answered by Carla. She gets many good values from the programs until she can find the real healing she really needs Van
Raay 369-435. Carla also realizes that she has been locked into a endless conflict
unconsciously. She does not give up when some therapies do not effectively succeed. She keeps on attending to any therapy programs although she cannot
solve her problems instantly Van Raay 374 From the discussion above,
through Carla’s thoughts and speeches with the therapists, it is obvious that Carla is open-minded person when she receives
Hal’s suggestion to go to the therapists. She starts seeing her problem on the other sides by sharing and telling others about it. She also can find some positive values
by becoming open-minded person.
B. Carla’s Quest for the Meaning of Life
The meaning of life is considered as an important and valuable thing that gives a specific value to people Frankl 154. It includes a purpose of life that has
to be reached and to be fulfilled by them. The meaning of life is difficult for people to find out because it is often hidden or implied in life. If people can find
the meaning of life, they will feel that life is meaningful and valuable. Thus, happiness is a reward or side effect of the success in finding the meaning of life.
Carla also wants to find the meaning of life. She does many things and tries to do the best for finding the meaning of life. Frankl 154 states
“man’s search for meaning is a primary force in his life and not a ‘secondary
rationalization’ of instinctual drives.” The statement explains that the will to meaning motivates people to do actions so that life becomes useful and worthy. In
this Novel, Carla also does some actions and works in quest for the meaning of life. She struggles in her life to find the meaning of life that will give her
happiness.
1. Carla’s Struggle to Find the Meaning of Life
Carla’s life consists of several moments or situations that are different for times to times through her life. According to Frankl 172, “as each situation in
life represents a challenge to man and presents a problem for him to solve, the question of the meaning of life may actua
lly be reserved.” Man’s search for meaning insists that one has his own specific vocation or mission in life that must
be fulfilled by himself, not by others. Carla faces situations in her life, which represent a challenge and a problem to be solved, where a question of the meaning
of life is reserved. Moreover, she has to answer the question as responsibility in finding the meaning of life.
About the meaning of life, Frankl considers that the meaning of life is unique, specific, personal, so that each person has a unique meaning of his life
and appreciation of different ways between the personal and the other ones. In this novel, Carla’s will to meaning can be seen in her willingness to be a good child
