clients. It seems that she is being addicted by her work. She finds existential frustration in this case. She does not stop working as a prostitute because she is
addicted to sex, to the attention she is getting and to easy money Van Raay 350. I condemned myself for encouraging what I called ‘men’s alienated
behaviour’. My guilt was intense. I couldn’t see that my clients’ motivation wasn’t my business. I couldn’t see that I was arrogant to
believe that I could understand what they were thinking. What had happen to my initial conviction that my sexual contact with men would benefit
them spiritually? Was I allowing myself to be intimidated by society’s mores? That wouldn’t have been possible unless there were some guilt
lurking inside me, waiting to be triggered Van Raay 354.
Carla’s failure to find the meaning of life through her struggle to be a God’s Callgirl can be seen from her existential frustration of her work. Frankl
159-160 states that the intensive condition of existential frustration can cause noogenic neurosis. It
is a mood disorder that can inhibit one’s self-adaptation and achievement. The disorder is marked by boredom, emptiness, hopeless, lost of
interest and initiative, even the meaningless life. In this case, feeling addicted to sex, to the attention she gets and to easy money cause Carla finds noogenic
neurosis that can be seen in her missed achievement in her vision of being God’s Callgirl. It shows that she finds her life meaningless.
3. Carla’s Finding the Meaning of Life
Carla’s will to find the meaning of life motivates her to struggle and to take a stand of her life to find the meaning of life. Carla decides to leave her
profession as God’s Callgirl. She turns her work on to the more valuable for her
and others. She tries to change her career. For instance she starts up an introduction magazine. Although she has changed her career, Carla has not found
the meaning of life yet. She does not have an orientation on her future and is
determined by the power from out of herself. Moreover, Carla comes to some therapy programs. From the therapy programs, she gets healing process so that she
finally finds the meaning of life. As an open-minded person, Carla
receives Hal’s suggestion to go along therapies. Hal is the first person who suspects that there is something in
Carla’s past which seriously needs to be healed. When a couple of therapist come to town
that specialize in championing people who have suffered at the hands of adults when they are children, Hal urges Carla to meet them and offers to pay the
expenses. Furthermore, Carla is able to get healed step by step Van Raay 369. One day, Carla goes to a therapist, Jan. Carla often finds glimpses of her
father’s body when she is asked to close her eyes and imagine something. It makes Carla have a strong desire to punish him. Next, she attends on another
therapy program to Byron Bay in New South Wales to do Hoffman Process, which specifically deals with father and mother issues. During all the angry
pillow- bashing sessions, it puzzles her why she is driven to pulverize her father’s
imagined penis repeatedly Van Raay 372-373. Through the Hoffman Process,
Carla’s perception of her father and mother are transformed from seeing them only as the people who brings her up, to seeing
them as sensitive human beings who struggle a long and do their best. It brings the feeling of loving her parents inside her, which makes her decide to come to her
parents and tells each of them face to face that she loves them so that they feel joyful Van Raay 375.
