basic principle on Dalihan Natolu. It is common for people to talk about kinship in mundane talk. Eventhough it is cultural specific but the in interaction is locally
managed.
4.3.2.2 Offer-AcceptanceRejection, Invitation-AcceptanceRejection
Offer-acceptance in ritual constraint has to do with manjalo ‘to take’ and mangalean ‘to give’. In customary adat activity after a meal, a traditional expression
umpasa that concerns with the two words is often practised, as seen in the following: bagot na marhalto
tubu di robean horas na manjalo
gabe namangalean
English Equivalent palm which is juicy
grown in the hill
good luck for hose who take bless for those who give
First it can be said that the speaker of this expression was from those who take. It is hoped that the God support those who take and those who give. What is
symbolized by bagot na marhalto was that this is a kind of a palm-tree which is fruity and juicy. One of many other functions of the tree is that the juice is made as a
traditional drink for keeping the body healthy. For the food-giver, a blessing in terms of health was addressed, and for the people who took, luck will be theirs. So from this
expression, an activity of offering give and accepting take is basically lying on the
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customary activity related to belief that in this activity also lies blessings from the God in Toba Batak culture.
Second, an activity of offer which deals with goods must be followed by an activity of taking, as embedded in this expression; Haccit mulak manjalo, humaccitan
mulak mangalean ‘It is hard when taking or asking is refused, but harder when giving is returned’. For Toba Batak people, it is worst to return the givings, and if a choice is
given, it is better to refuse when one is taking or asking. To give a comparison, to take or to ask has no risk for the asker, in other words, it would not be a burden for him
when asking refused. Whereas to give someone something, when rejected, there would be a burden in case that what is given is not free of charge. It is, therefore, when one
rejects the offer of someone else, the one that offer or others present in the activity can comment or motivate one to whom the goods is offered so that the goods is accepted.
Invitation-acceptance is formally used in adat ceremony especially in wedding, in which when it is conveyed orally and by invitation-card the person to whom it is
given has to accept it regardless of whether he will be present or not in the wedding- party. Invitation in cultural context has a broader sense that before it is done there are
two more steps to be included. To be clearer, three terms are introduced; boaboa ‘announcement’, mandokkon ‘to inform’, and manjou ‘to call’. Boaboa deals with
announcing the people of village so as to make a meeting for preparation. Mandokkon has to do with informing all the members of Daliohan Natolu to take part in the
activity. And Manjou refers to call the people who have been announced and informed to come to the activity. These three steps are now reduced to mandokkon and manjou
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which is written in the invitation-card of wedding-party. The expression which underlies the two steps in ritual sense is: Dokkon sipaimaon, joujou sialuson
‘Information to be awaited, invitation to be responded’. This expression is interpreted as invitation. In Toba Batak those who invite and those who are invited are of equal
importance and and they are considered king. So invitation in Toba Batak will never be rejected. In the case of offer and invitation in general affairs are delayed before
accepted, it has to do with face-protecting, meaning that one who delayed the offer or invitation is necessary to keep his or her standing.
4.3.2.3 Accusation, Compliment, Complaint
