60 forbidden by religion, are not supported by family, not accepted by society, by
culture, by law and by the state. Above all it does not belong to a heterosexual relationship. Those lesbian characters actually know and realize what they are
doing is wrong and sinful, but they just cannot fight for their feelings and desire. They know this act is forbidden. Consequently, they perceive their relationship as
forbidden love relationship cinta terlarang and consider it as a sin.
4. Being a Lesbian is Being Different
In the two English language short stories, “The Woman Pool” and “Memory Puzzled”, lesbian characters view themselves as someone who is
different ones. They feel different to others because of their feeling and desire towards the same sex. It is different because they realize that their sexual
orientation is different from people in common. Feeling that lesbian makes one different is first reflected in the short story entitled “The Women’s Pool” by
Beatriz Capello. This story tells about a 17 year old teenage girl who falls in love with an older woman whose age is 45 years old. This teenage lesbian is depicted
as not having a good social relationship, because she has no friends. She does not have friends because she knows she is different. Her being different because she is
the same sex lover and she thinks others will never be able to understand her because of this matter. She states openly about her differences in the quotation
below: To the beach with my friends.” I have no friends. They
wouldnt understand me. Im different. What is it about her that makes me love her the way I
do? Infatuation Yes, mother would say infatuation. I asked her how it feels to be in love.
61 “At your age infatuations are common.”
“Dont get pregnant, whatever you do.” “Love Real love was what I felt for your father.”
“One day youll meet a nice boy and youll love him as I loved your father”
What a lot of shit. Sad news, mother…Im different. You know I like women. TWP, 23
In this story the main character describes herself as being “different”. She says that she does not have friends because they will not understand she is
different. She likes woman. It shows that the character wants some friends with other women at the pool, but she is certain that they will not understand her sexual
orientation. She is different because she does not like man, she likes woman. Different to the case above, in “Memory Puzzles” by Anne Azel, the
lesbian character has already felt and realized that she is different since she was a kid, of 8 years old. “I was not un happy, just confused and different from other
kids.” MP, 79 This depiction reflects that even though this lesbian character knows that she is different from others, she deals with it. She feels confused with
her feelings especially, because at that time she is just a kid. Perhaps she is not able to figure out her feeling. She realizes she is different from others because her
feeling toward the same sex. Nevertheless, according to the story, her feeling of lesbian has been there since childhood.
In conclusion, I find that in Indonesian language short stories, lesbian characters perceive their feeling and sexual orientation as destiny, as something
natural, normal, unable to be changed; hence, it is not a mistake. They also view their relationship as a sin and forbidden love. In contrast to Indonesian language
short stories, the lesbian characters in English language short stories do not
62 perceive their feeling and sexual orientation like the way lesbians perceive their
feeling in Indonesian language short stories. They feel they are different because they have homosexual desire which do not belong to the common sexual
orientation and practice. The issue in English language short stories is not viewing sexual orientation, feeling to the same sex and relationship as a given or destiny,
something natural, normal, unable to be changed, hence it is not a mistake and as forbidden love as well as sin. In Indonesian language short stories, it is clear that
the concepts of homosexual desire and relationship are framed in religious doctrine influences, whereas in English language short stories such concept does
not even exist.
B. The Root of Herstory in Becoming a Lesbian
