119 but I’m fine with the fact that you want to go see that foreingn
film and I don’t, so you go by yourself. Or that I feel like shopping and you’d rather not, so I go to the mall alone or with a
friend, and you don’’t freak out about it.
True love means that when I have a good news, you’re the one I want to share it with first. When I have a shitty day, all I
want is a hug from you or a nap in your arms. When you’ve had a shitty day, I want to be the one to compfort you. True love means
that I am always thinking of your first and me second and that’s okay because I know that you’re thinking of me first and you
second.” I’m smilling and nodding as I watch her continue.
“True love is security. It’s not having to worry. I don’t mind when other people flirt with you. I don’t even mind if you flirt
back because I know where you’ll be that night. I know who you’re going home with, and it doesn’t bother me if someone hits
on you because that simply means that other people think my wife is as hot as I do. True love is knowing exactly where I’m
spending the rest of my life – here, by your side. Happily”. TL, 57-58
This lesbian couple seems really knows how to conduct themselves in a relationship. She narrates in the story when she is trying to compare her own
relationship and her other lesbian friends. She mentions that many couples stay together and others simply crumble and fall apart, for one reason or another they
continue to fall.
d. Social Gap and Jealousy
Another problem between a lesbian character and her partner found in the stories is the social gap and envy. In “To Dance with No Music” by Lois Cloarec
Hart two lesbian characters are portrayed as being different in many instances. For example, they are different in life style, social status, and in terms of
intelligence. We were so different. I had married foolishly and divorce
bitterly. She, always more self aware, refused to fall into the
120 trap of cultural expectations. She was a career woman, she
declared merrily; the law was her mate, the courts her home. She had no time for the demands of husband and children.
And at her assertion, all within earshot would nod knowingly. None could deny that her drive and ambition
eclipsed all else in her life. TDWNM, 67
In this story, the protagonist faces difficulties to balance her partner. Dealing with differences can be a real challenge for this couple. Her partner is
portrayed as a very intelligent person. She is a career woman and has broad knowledge, while the narrator is only a widow with two kids and works as a clerk.
“Then I enter her orbit. We came to each other late, already middle-aged and set our ways. Our friends declared we would never last. Too different too find
compatibility, they insist.” TDWNM, 67 Since lesbian women do not live in isolation, they are surrounded by
people and friends. Thus, the person with lower status in this relationship is underestimated by their friends, especially her partners colleagues. In this story,
even the protagonist is considered as the maid in her partner’s house. In addition, the way her partner’s peers and colleagues belittle the lesbian couple can be seen
from the description of their first anniversary party. She has never disclosed their relationship to people in her life. But, that night her partner come out to the guests
and tells them she is her spouse. “Given her deep reticence about our love, de rigueur for the times, it would not have surprised me if many in attendance that
night assumed I was the maid, hired for the evening’s entertainment”. TDWNM, 69. People view her un-respectably because of her low social status. They think
she does not deserve to get a partner, as successful as her partner, one with such
121 good social status in society. “I was keenly aware that those who knew us casually
considered me a doormat and wondered aloud what she could possibly see in me. In the early days of our relationship that knowledge hurt, though I said nothing.”
TDWNM, 67-68 This lesbian’s difficulty to balance social life with her low social status
does not only effect to her partner, but also among her partner’s peer and colleagues. It is clearly shown in the party that they held to celebrate their first
anniversary. They invite their peers and colleagues. She seems to have no confidence and she is nervous of being among those people. Probably it is
because she is there among professionally successful, intelligent, and fashionable people. It is escalated because they have a high social status. A woman who she
sees as her “competitor”, whom she mention as her “rival” makes her especially anxious.
“When it comes to my rival, I was not even in the running. She had an exotic beauty that I could never match. She spoke four
languages fluently and had earned advanced degrees from several European universities. Her sense of style had been photographed
and written about by countless fashion magazines, and her family was descended from Prussian royalty.
I was a dray horse in comparison, and my rival never once let me forget it. She initially dismissed me as a fling—my partner’s
way of getting back at her for a fight they’d had. It was one of many in their tempestuous on-again, off-again relationship. When
our own nascent love affair blossomed and flourished, my rival was astonished at my partner’s poor taste and said so loudly and
repeatedly. Because both my partner and rival served together on many of the same arts and charitable committees, there was no
avoiding the woman, try though I did.” TDWNM, 68
122 She continues to tell about how different she is from her partner’s friend, in term
of fashion and style. She thinks she is not fashionable. That night in the party, she discovers how impossible it would be for her to compete with her rival. This rival
seems to have a perfect life; good figure, beautiful face, rich, famous, educated, modern, stylish, fashionable, elegant, high social status, noble descent. She is the
perfect woman compared to the narrator who has a lower social status and
considered ordinary. “My distressed gaze slid down my rival’s sleek body, encased in a
sheath that undoubtedly cost more than a year of my wages. Unable to look away, I stared at her feet, clad in glistening black
stilettos that did wondrous things for her long, long legs. I glanced down at my feet, shod in flats. I had thought them both
practical and attractive when I bought them.” TDWNM, p. 68
Jealousy is a common problem faced by couples. The fear of being cheated on or the partner admiring another person, usually troubles their hearts.
Generally, jealousy is the result of a person who is afraid of losing her partner. This is found both in heterosexual and homosexual relationships. This is reflected
in this story where the character feels confused and doubts her partner. She feels that her partner is cheating on her, lying about it by saying and promising sweet
things. But, her actions are not as sweet as her words. This fact causes her feeling of jealousy, insecurity and doubt about her partner grows up highly inside herself.
It is illustrated in the quotation below, when she tells her partner how she feels: “My partner laughed gently at my fears, reassuring me that the
other woman meant nothing to her any longer and never would again, that she loved only me. When I was in her arms and in
our bed, I could believe her. But when I saw news photos of them at social events I refused to attend, I could not mistake
123 the proprietary look in my rival’s eyes or the possessive way
her hand so often rested on my lover’s back.” TDWNM, 68.
Munro remaks: “Some lesbians are convinced that other lesbians are a threat to their relationship. They are afraid that they will lose their partner if they
go out and have fun with other lesbians. They feel insecure about any close relationship their partners have, especially with single lesbians.”
145
This is how the lesbian character feels toward her partner friend:
“I cast an eye over our guests and looked for empty glasses to refill. When my gaze fell on my partner, my heart fell.
Standing entirely too close to her was a woman I knew well, and loathed. The new arrival had been described as my
‘competition’ by those in our circle who enjoyed a good catfight. …
I was relieved when my rival left the city on a European tour four months earlier. I should have known her absence only
postponed the inevitable. Heartsick, I watched now as she laughed at something my partner said, tilting her head flirtatiously.”
TDWNM, 68
The lesbian character with lower class status feels relieves when the woman whom she is jelous with leaves the town. She feels secure with her absent of
meeting her partner. Thought her partner has come out to the public and introduce her as her spouse, still she cannot free herself from the jealousy feeling. The issue
of social gap between lesbian partners is also found in one of the Indonesian language short stories, “Bukan Hari Kemarin” by Nisrina Lubis. The lesbian
couple comes from different social backgrounds. Tia is a street musician pengamen who has to earn money by singing, busking from one bus to another
bus; while her partner, is an office worker pekerja kantoran. This social gap
145
Kali Munro, Lesbian Relationships: A Collection of Articles, p. 2.
124 apparently does not influence their will to be together as a partner. Yes, youre
right. Im just dreaming too high and forget who I am. I don’t think there would be an office worker who wants to.... Yes I want, I interrupted her quickly, it is
not a problem for us. BHK: p. 60
146
From this dialogue between Tia and her partner Tia realizes that she does not deserve to be her partner because she is only
a street musician while Her is an officer. However, she directly proclaims that social class does not matter for her. She wants to have this relationship with Tia.
She accepts Tia with all her conditions. The difference in this story is that the lesbian with low status does not
face the problems faced by the character depicted in the English language short story “To Dance with No Music” above. She does not have rival and no need to
compete with other women. This can be understood because in “Bukan Hari Kemarin”, the characters are not in the same position as those in “To Dance with
No Music“. In conclusion, these two stories reveal that lesbian lifestyle options are not only available for middle and for high-class people. The same sex sexual
practice also exists in lower class people. The couples are from both middle and lower class people. This problem is not only faced by a lesbian in the English
language short story but also in the Indonesian language short story.
2. The Steps Taken by Lesbians to Overcome Problems Due to Their Sexual Orientation and Relationship
