72 class. Unexpectedly, they meet in a chat room. This story describes that these
lesbian meets online in the internet era which none of the other stories do. At the beginning, it is certain they do not know that they already know each other in the
context of a student and lecturer, because they use another name in the chat room. One day, they both decide to meet in person because up to that point they
just connected through the internet. When they meet each other, they are so shocked, because they would never have imagined the one they always meet in
the chatroom would be her own student and her own lecturer. After their first meeting, they are so afraid because of their identity is now known by each other
as lesbian. For a month after that meeting the younger lesbian never attends the class and tries to run away. Finally, they give up and try to be honest about their
feelings of need and love for each other. Then, their relationship continues to grow until it becomes closer and stronger. Up to one day, the lecturer gets a
doctoral scholarship to study in French and she takes her young lover with her to France and they live there together.
It is often the same in heterosexual relationship; women tend to have a partner or a husband who can provide security, a good life, and one who can guide
her to be a better person and to have a better future. In both Indonesian and English language short stories, the young lesbian characters also admire a mature
lesbian to be their partner for several reasons that I have discussed before.
3. Becoming a Lesbian as a Result of Long Term Interaction
In some short stories, women can involve with other women into a same- sex relationship because of daily and lifelong interaction. At the beginning, the
73 lesbians are portrayed as heterosexual because they do not have any sexual
tendency to the same sex, but after long daily interaction they develop the tendency. For instance, the female characters in the short stories fall in love to
their own female friends. When they do so it automatically affects their sexual orientation. Let’s say if at the beginning, lesbians do not have such homosexual
desire or tendency. However, because of their long term interaction, the feeling and the desire grow from being a friend to becoming a lover.
In “Sebilah Pisau Roti” by Cok Sawitri, lesbian is portrayed as one who does not expect to fall in love to a female friend of her own.
”I never have a friend like you who loves me sincerely. I don’t want to lose you.”
”We are no longer friends. I’m not any longer sincere. I ask for reward. Our relationship grows strangely. Formerly, we may
plant beans which we never imagine will have grown as rice. So dense then get us lost in finding it’s seed form. ...
But who could ever guess their own heart’s destiny? I fall in love with you” SPR, 93
102
“Ketika Langit Senja” by Alvi. A. H also portrays the same issue. The lesbian characters never predict that their closeness would grow more than a common
friendship. Their friendship turns to the same sex relationship; Our closeness seems to be borderless, so that the feeling
rustling without any one of us knows when it starts blooming. Our feeling is more than a friendship which is inapropriately
102
‘Aku tidak pernah punya teman seperti kamu. Tulus menyayangi aku. Aku tidak mau kehilangan kamu.’
“Kita sudah tidak lagi berteman. Aku juga tidak tulus lagi. Aku pamrih. Hubungan kita berkembang aneh. Dulu, mungkin kita tanam kecambah siapa sangka yang tumbuh justru padi-
padian. Begitu rimbun membuat kita tersesat untuk menerka rupa bijinya. … Tapi siapa yang dapat menerka nasib perasaanya sendiri? Aku jatuh cinta sama kamu
74 growing between us because we are both women. KLS,
103
103
In “The Eyes of March” by K. Niken , the same issue is found. Leah and Blaine become friends for some time, before they can become a lesbian couple. As
narrated in the stories the two lesbian characters meet at a country hospital where Blaine has been a nurse in the Burn Unit while Leah is performing some volunteer
duties with a few other people. They soon become friends. Blaine explains about her feelings;
“I was immediately captivated by her astounding eyes and we seemed to be naturally drawn to each other”….
“We never intended to fall for other so hard, so quick.” TEOM, 65
She continues to explain their relationship which is actually a friendship at the beginning, but by time it is changed.
As the two of us became better friends, we bared our souls more and more and didn’t hide much from
each other. Eventually, we didn’t hide our feelings either. We didn’t expect our friendship to escalate into
something more.
We never intended to fall for each other so hard, so quick. When we did realize that
something was indeed happening, we tried to fight it — tried, but failed. It was a love that should not and could
not be, and yet, here we were, fully engaged and wrapped up in each other. TEOM, 65 -66
From Blaine’s explanation in the paragraph above, it can be inferred that there is a denial reaction from both of those women when they find
themselves as having feeling more than a normal friend. They love each other. Thus, they try to fight for their feeling, but they fail.
103
Kedekatan kami seakan tak berpembatas, hingga perasaan tersebut mendesir tanpa kami tahu kapan awal berseminya. Perasaan lebih dari sebuah persahabatan yang tak sepantasnya tumbuh
diantara kami karena kami sama-sama perempuan .
75 The issue of being lesbian because of long term interaction as has
been discussed above portrays that this factor is experienced by lesbians in both Indonesian and English language short stories. It also shows that it
can happens everywhere because of long term interaction of ones ha ve with other. These stories seem to address that lesbian’s sexual orientation can
occur over a lifetime or during the lifelong interaction to other women. The issue of friendship which develops into romantic relationship in lesbians commonly
happens in heterosexual people too.
5. Becoming a Lesbian because of Early Exposure to Homosexuality and Environmental Factor
