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1. The Problems Between a Lesbian and Her Partner
There are some problems experienced by lesbian characters and their partners found in the short stories that I have studied. First, having a very busy
partner; second, the division of gender role femme and butch; third, having serious commitment in lesbian relationship. Lastly are jealousy, envy and
differences in social status.
a. A Very Busy Partner
The first issue I would like to turn to is having a very busy partner. This case appears in one of the English language short stories entitled “Heartbreak” by
Shadylady. Having a partner who is always busy with her works creates a conflict within a lesbian relationship. The narrator feels the lack of attention and affection
from her partner. Because of her occupied activities at work she cannot spare her time for her parner and create time for them to be together. Furthermore, the
separation from their partner can be very rough on each other to the extent that the other can develop severe stress and a sense of tragedy. This is narrated in the
dialogue between Melanie and Stephanie below: “I don’t give a fuck what you say. I’m sick and tired of you
working overtime and weekends. We never get to go out and have any fun anymore. If you won’t take me out then
I’ll damn well find someone that can,” Stephanie fumed as she finished styling her hair.
“Stephanie, please don’t say that. I’ve been working like a dog to save for the European vacation you say you can’t
live without.”“Borrow the money, use a credit card, or don’t pay the bills for a couple months. There must be
another way to get the money without working all the time for it.”
106 “The hell with it. I’ll see you later.” Stephanie picked up
her car keys and slammed the door loudly as she left H, 60.
In the dialogue above, it can be seen that her partner Stephanie, who appears to be a very rough and impatient partner, stresses Melanie out. Stephanie
complains about Melanie who has to work overtime every day, even on the weekends. Because of her partner’s super-occupied days, Stephanie gets mad at
her. She does not want to tolerate this situation anymore. Melanie has no time any longer to be shared with . She corners Melissa and says if she keeps doing this she
would leave Melissa and find another partner. She feels their relationship is no longer enjoyable and happy like before since Melanie spends her whole time
earning money for their needs, bills, and vacations. The issue pursued in this story is interesting. In this story we can find a
similar problem that is faced by lesbian couples which is as the same as heterosexual couples face. These are financial problems, materialistic demands,
and the lack of attention and affection from the partner. This story depicts a problem faced by lesbians, which is not completely related to their sexual identity.
Looking at Stephanies character, we can see that this lesbian woman has the same emotional desires, as a heterosexual woman who enjoys being spoiled and
pampered by her partner. In Melanie’s case, we see that she is a hard working person. She tries to fulfill all her partner’s financial needs.
Similar to “Heart Break”, the Indonesian language short story “Lari” by Nuage also portrays the same issue. The story portrays the relationship between a
21 year old girl and a 40 years old woman, both have been living in France for
107 one year. In this story, the young lesbian feels so lonely. Her partner is always
busy. Besides working for a French company, she also has to fulfill her responsibility as a student in a Doctoral Program for her scholarship. All these
responsibilities and the age factor seem to make her get tired easily. I approached her, the woman who always sleeps beside me.
It’s 12 oclock. She had fallen asleep a few minutes ago. She arrived at home at 10 oclock, then took shower, cleaned up,
and went to bed, after had a chance to talk to me so briefly. I still miss her. I have not been satisfied enough meeting her. I
want to talk more. I want to be with her. And I want to make love. Slowly, I rocked her body her again. There was no
answer. I know she was so tired. I felt pity of her. So, I hold her in the dark. L, 177
126
Even though the younger lesbian is in a dilemma with her partner, who is always busy, she always tries to understand her even though she feels so lonely.
Oh God, I need someone to talk to. I need to share this loneliness. Am I truly lonely? Beside the woman I love? Yes. I am. L, 183
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Her activities make her tired; thus it influence her desire to have sex. She is portrayed as being so tired
that her sexual desire decreases. Even though there is a similar issue about a very busy partner in “Heartbreak” and “Lari”, the couple in “Lari” faces different
conflicts because of her partner’s busy days. Different to “Heartbreak” where the center of conflict is about financial and materialistic problems, this couple faces
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“Ku dekati dia, perempuan yang selalu tidur di samping ku. Jam dua belas malam. Dia sudah terlelap beberapa menit yang lalu. Jam sepuluh dia baru tiba di rumah, mandi, beres-beres, dan
langsung tidur, setelah hanya sempat mengobrol sebentar. Aku merindukannya. Aku belum puas bertemu dengannya. Aku ingin bercinta dengannya.Ku goyang lagi tubuhnya. Perlahan. Tidak
ada jawaban. Kasihan. Dia begitu lelah. Aku memeluknya dalam gelap.”
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“Ya Tuhan, aku perlu teman bicara. Aku perlu membagi kesepian ini. Aku kesepian? Di sisi perempuan yang ku cintai? Ya. Aku kesepian”
108 sexual problems in their relationship which starting to happen since two months
ago. I hugged her with my restless body. I cannot suppress my
sexual need by my own. Finally, with great difficulty I could fell asleep. And, so my nights have passed since two months
ago. L, 178
128
Thus, the young lesbian character feels so lonely. Besides the minimum time to be together and the feeling of a lack attention and affection, her partner also does
not fulfill her sexual needs. Her partner is no longer able to have sex with her before watching blue movies or porn DVD. Whenever they start to make love, her
partner always stops her and invites her to watch a porn movie first. Lately shes starting to like watching blue movies, and I
began to feel that she can be passionate without those movies. Maybe because shes busy, maybe she’s tired, she may be so
stressful and under-pressure. One of the most distressing possibilities is that she is no longer having any passion toward
me. L, 182
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It is shown in the story how the young lesbian character has to put aside her sexual needs. Her partner starts changing; she becomes cold and no longer
romantic. Her sexual desire becomes lesser than at the beginning of their relationship. This really makes her frustrated.
Is the blue movie sign the relationship is no longer intimate? My 21 year old brain kept asking this question until I could
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“Aku memeluknya dengan tubuh ku yang gelisah. Menahan gejolak yang tak bisa ku padamkan sendiri. Dengan susah payah akhirnya aku tertidur. Dan, begitulah malam-malam ku berlalu sejak
dua bulan yang lalu”
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“Belakangan ini dia mulai suka menonton blue film, dan aku mulai merasa dia tidak bisa bergairah tanpa film-film itu. Mungkin dia sibuk, mungkin dia lelah, mungkin dia banyak pikiran
sehingga tidak bergairah. Satu kemungkinan lagi yang paling menyedihkan, dia tidak bergairah lagi pada ku.”
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109 not sleep. Then she laid down beside me casually, without
kissing or huging me like she used to do. And she is directly taking sleeping position. How indifferently is L, 183.
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This lesbian couple’s problems portrayed in this story are very interesting. It indicates that lesbian couples also face the decrease of sexual desire problems in
their sexual activity which is not correlated with their identity as a homosexual. This story openly shows that both heterosexual and homosexual relationships are
susceptible to a decrease in sexual desires. This story also shows that by the time lesbians’ needs and interest change,
they have already committed themselves to a relationship. At the beginning, everything seems to be sweet, happy, beautiful, blossoming and flourishing. They
want to do everything together with their partner. It also happens in a heterosexual marriage, especially in a newly married couple. Sometimes, this issue is started by
the couple arguing and shouting at each other. Because of the fight they start sleeping in a separate bed. If the fighting continues, they stop talking to each other
and this leads to a reduction of sexual interaction. This process is similar to what it is portrayed in “To Dance with No music” by Lois Cloares Hart. The lesbian
character informs the reader that their relationship is not always in stable condition. She openly states that though she lives with someone she loves, this
does not stop conflicts from arising between them. They do not live happily ever
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“Apakah blue film pertanda hubungan sudah tidak mesra lagi? Otak 21 tahun ku terus menanyakan pertanyaan ini hingga aku tidak bisa tidur. Lalu dia berbaring dengan santai di sisi
ku, tidak mencium atau memeluk ku seperti dulu lagi. Langsung mengambil posisi tidur. Betapa cueknya”
110 after. They sometimes fight, and have stop talking to each other. They rarely have
sex. “Did we live happily ever after? No. Over the years, there were
times we fought, times we stopped talking together, times when our lovemaking became routine or rare. Yet I can say
with absolute certainty that my only regret was not meeting her when I was fourteen instead of forty-five. Even the day our
lives changed forever, that never changed.” TDWNM, 69
This kind of conflict is also mentioned by Munro. She mentioned that as lesbians, they love that they are both women - their sameness feels good and right.
They are delight in each other, their bodies, doing things together, swapping clothes, sharing food, music, ideas and laughter. But, when they hit a point, or too
many points, or differences they may feel uncomfortable, scared and angry.
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Both in Indonesia and English language short stories, lesbian couples face the same problems in their lives in long-term relationships though the situations and
the impacts are different. In the Indonesian language short story, the lesbian couples are marked by their age difference. The couple is twenty-one and forty,
while in the English language short story they are the same age, forty-five. Thus, they can react and overcome problems more maturely than the couple in the
Indonesian language short story. Yet, the young couple in English language short story react aggressively and emotionally to her partner during conflict.
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Kali Munro, Lesbian Relationships: A Collection of Articles, C. Rainfield: 2001, p. 7.
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b. Butch and Femme Gender Role among Lesbians and Their Partners
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