Sophie and Natasha’s Thoughts

68 great career, having someone who loves them, and being respected by others in their society. Sophie’s life is not as brighter as Natasha’s. Sophie often gets ashamed being asked about her family and her education background. She is used to regretting her misfortune that she couldn’t go to university because of the lack of her family financial since her mother got divorced. Therefore, one of her motivations is having a great life by marrying a rich man or by getting a great job. Why hadn’t she worked harder at school and gone to university and got a better job? …. Sophie asked herself these questions but she knew the answer, which was that as long as she could remember she’d wanted to get married, hold cosy dinner parties, have babies and create the perfect family life she’d never had. And she still would do that, everything would still come out all right. It had to. 92 Being an attractive and talkative girl makes Sophie always circled by people especially men. She has met so many kinds of man that makes her rethink her decision to marry Olly, the man she depended her life on. Sophie changes her motivation about marrying a rich man to reach a wealthier and happier life. She does not want to be ended up just like what her mother does. But somehow Sophie knew that even if this was just a crush, there would be another one and another after that. That there was no way she could stay with Olly for the rest of her life. That if she did marry him, at some point she would end up just like Mum embarking on one affair after another, in an attempt to be true to her real self, whom she’d lost sight of from the second she’d accepted Olly’s proposal. And Sophie knew what she had to do. She just needed to summon up the courage. 459 Getting good news that she has been accepted as a cooking leader in one of TV program raises her motivation to renew and cheer her life up. It helps her to 69 manage her problems of her financial, her engagement with someone whom she doesn’t really love, and her problem with her best friend. Her new career brings her new motivation of new life. It also helps her to find her identity, although she still wants to get a happy family at last. But at first, she wants to be respected as a successful career woman that she will be an artist in a TV program that she hasn’t ever got before when she only was a secretary. Sophie whooped so loudly they could have heard her in Uruguay. “I’ve got the job, Lainey. I’ve got it. I don’t have to be a secretary any more. I’m going to be someone In television” …. Pointless telling Lainey yet again that her life was perfect and Sophie would give anything to be her. And anyway, oddly, at this moment, with a broken engagement behind her and her ex in her best friend’s arms, she was still suffused with a sense of well-being, a sense that there was one in the world Sophie Matthewson would rather be than herself. Before she could completely relax, however, there was just one more thing she had to do. 475-476 Meanwhile, Natasha has different way of life that as a very busy woman, Natasha concentrates almost her time to her job. She wants to be successful head of drama TV program that she works very hard on it. She isn’t attractive enough to build relationship with a man as what Sophie does. For Natasha, she has motivation to have successful relationship with a man whom she loves. Once Natasha got chance to have a relationship with a man whom she interested with, she had to let her hope away. She has to force herself not to allow herself down on her unsuccessful relationship. Then she encourages herself to rise up and try to struggle for her life again. And then, after an hour, she picked up the phone and called Sophie. Voicemail. “It’s finished,” she said. “But don’t worry. I’m going to be OK.” 442 70 From the quotations mentioned above, it can be concluded that those motivations had by Sophie and Natasha not only change them into a better life, but also bring them to find their truly identity for themselves.

c. Sophie and Natasha’s Desires

The same like motivation desires also play role in one’s self-identity. What a person dreams of her life can be a sign of what his or her self-identity is. As said by Freud in his theory that superego has role in one’s desires since superego often seeks the perfection or the ideal of life Mischel, 1976: 32. Here desires make someone recognize what he or she wants to reach in the real life that can represent his or her personal identity. Then it cannot be separated from one’s self actualization that everyone needs to be accepted and known by others. In the novel, it is written that Sophie and Natasha have their own desires. From their desires, it can be drawn analysis that Sophie and Natasha tried to figure out their self-identity. Since in teenager, Sophie has decided what life she wants to have. She wants someday she will appear in a popular magazine as a popular person and have a great job. She also dreams to get married with someone she loves, to have a great wedding party. And she is very fond of publicity. It is written in the quotations as follow: “Well, since it’s completely obvious that Tash was Tash and Markie was Markie, then you might as well all know that I plan a huge wedding on midsummer’s eve in Betterton arboretum,” Sophie said. “As many people as possible. A band. Loads of food. Everyone legless. And a photographer from Tatler .” 3 71 She was sick of keeping her life on hold: she wanted to be like Lainey, tucked up in bed with the man she loved, who had promised in front of everyone to have and to hold her until death did them part. 124 …. But recently she had changed. She still wanted a husband and babies, of course she did, but she wanted to have a bit of fun first. She wanted to get the hang of her new job, which was such a laugh and which was introducing her to dozens of new people, without feeling she had to rush home and play house for her boyfriend. 483 In the meantime, Natasha’s desires are not utterly different from Sophie’s. Natasha wants others to understand her. She wants to be as attractive as Sophie, and has a relationship with a man who really loves her. Then it is inevitable to admit that a person often envies others or wants to be others. And it is also experienced by Natasha and Sophie. Although they are best friend since they were children, instinctively they envy each other. Either Sophie or Natasha often unconsciously wants to experience what the other has. It is shown by the following quotations: Of course, by now Natasha was used to living in Sophie’s shadow. She had come to terms with the fact that, no matter how many facials she had or designer clothes she bought, her friend would always be prettier than her, always have an adoring boyfriend on her arm. 10 Sophie had long been used to feeling inferior to Natasha, with her brains and glamorous life, and the flat had been the last straw. She couldn’t help comparing her and Andy’s hovel in Harlesden and feeling hard done by. And if that didn’t make her feel bad enough, she could dwell on Tash’s job jetting round the world and meeting the stars, unlike Sophie whose day consisted of Harlesden, tube, office, tube, harlesden. 31 “It’s all so silly, you banging on and on about Sophie. You know she never shuts up about you either. How chic you always look. How wonderful your life is. How inferior she feels when you talk about your job. She’d loved to be you.” 466 From what Natasha and Sophie desire to be another person and experience what each other has, it can be analyzed that their self identity can be a model for each